'My stomach just dropped': 26-year-old woman left shocked, after discovering her sister announced her engagement on Facebook, before they had even told anyone, violating her fiancé, Mark's, one request to keep it private

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 6, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Every girl dreams about her engagement day, the second most important day of the couple's life (besides their children's births, yes). It must be perfect! Yet, everyone's version of 'perfect' differs. To some, it's an extravagant floral arrangement on the beach in front of all their family, to others, it may be a big shot on the Madison Square Garden big screen, during halftime. And to a few, more private bunch, it may be a little mountain hike…just the two of you and nature as the best backdrop. 

This couple would fit in the 'more private' category…No big announcement or showing off of any diamonds, just a few casual FaceTimes informing their nearest and dearest about the exciting news…So when this recently-titled 'fiancée' is scrolling through Facebook, she gets the fright of her life when seeing her sister's huge congrats post plastered online, before they've even announced it properly themselves! She is furious, and so is her fiancé, Mark. His one wish was to keep this in their close circle. He's a private guy, and wanted to linger in the bubble of celebration for as long as possible! But now all the attention is on them, attention they never asked for, but are now both extremely overwhelmed by. Was this sister trying to be supportive, or did she selfishly want a sliver of that attention for herself…?

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  • This bride-to-be is feeling both frustrated for herself and guilty towards her husband for the chaos her sister has caused. When expressing her family concerns, she is met with the answers she wasn’t particularly looking for, after her mother quite clearly defended her sister’s overwhelming joy, a joy that shouldn’t be punished, simply because she's happy for her little sister…Mmmm

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    Woman receiving likes on social media
    via gettyimages

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for getting *crushing my sister's excitement* at my sister for posting my proposal video before I could?

    Throwaway and fake name because my family uses reddit. I (26F) have been with my boyfriend, Mark (28M), for 4 years.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
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    We're super private people. Like, we barely even post couple pics on Instagram. He's the best, super shy but the most thoughtful guy ever.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
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    He proposed last weekend. It was perfect. We were on a hike, just the two of us, at our favorite spot at sunset.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
  • 05
    No big crowd, no cameras, just us. It was so us. I of course said yes!! We called our parents and closest friends right after.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
  • 06
    Everyone was so happy. My sister, Jess (29F), was especially excited and asked for all the details. I told her how simple and private it was.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
  • 07
    I loved that there was no pressure, just us in the moment. On yesterday. I'm scrolling through Facebook and I see my sister has posted a video.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
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    The caption is "MY SISTER IS GETTING MARRIED!!! CONGRATS TO THE FUTURE MR & MRS! My stomach just dropped. It was a video of the proposal.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
  • 09
    Mark had apparently set up his phone on a rock to secretly record it, which I never even noticed. He told me later he did it so we could have the memory.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
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    Just for us, to watch on anniversaries and stuff. He sent the video to our immediate family group chat the night we got engaged, saying "For family only, please don't share."
    via ThenIntroduction3397
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    Well, Jess took that video, set it to some cheesy romantic music, and posted it for all 800 of her friends, his family, our family, and all our coworkers to see.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
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    The comments were already flooded with "OMG!" and "So beautiful!" from people I wouldn't even have told for weeks. I was furious. I immediately called her and yelled at her.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
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    I asked her what the h I she was thinking and told her she stole a super private moment from us. She started crying and said she was just "so happy" and "wanted to share the joy".
    via ThenIntroduction3397
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    Waterfall proposal
    via Jonathan Borba

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    And that I was being a *bridezilla* already by not letting people celebrate us. Now my mom is calling me, saying I was too harsh on Jess and that she meant well.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
  • 16
    And that I should just be happy people are excited. But Mark is really upset too, he feels like his one condition (keeping it private) was completely ignored.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
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    Our private moment is now public property. I feel like maybe I'm the ah le because I did crush her excitement and she was just trying to be nice.
    via ThenIntroduction3397
  • 18
    But also it wasn't hers to share??
    via ThenIntroduction3397
  • 19
    SessionBoring9259 NTA. She was excited to make the moment about herself for attention, not because you got engaged. You guys set a clear boundary that she blatantly disregarded. Mom is dumb for enabling her behavior.
    via SessionBoring9259
  • 20
    Tofulish8889 NTA - your partner says "please don't share" and she ignores him. It doesn't matter if it came from a good place, it's still boundary stomping.
    via Tofulish8889
  • 21
    neums812 NTA. He set the boundary, she completely ignored it and kind of made it about herself. I mean, she posted it to her account and got the traffic/comments. And probably had the thought that "I'm the big sister so I can do this" mentality.
    via neums812
  • 22
    alphabetacheetah Nta, my mum did something sort of similar, she shared my baby's name on social media before we even told our son's godfather we were naming him after him. I was mortified. It's not up to others to share your special moments
    via alphabetacheetah
  • 23
    BlondDee1970 NTA. She took your beautiful private moment and made it about her by posting on FB. Especially since your fiance said not to share the video. Congrats to you and I'd probably not share wedding details with your sis.
    via BlondDee1970
  • 24
    Senior_Parking6305 NTA- she doesn't care about you or your fiancé. She's a drama queen who needed to make the moment about her by stealing and "spreading joy". He specifically asked it to not be shared, she specifically violated that request.
    via Senior_Parking6305

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behind-their-backs posting-online private Awkward no-permission proposal facebook on-the-low memebase family sister engagement announcement fiancee taking sides
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