‘I asked her why she thinks either of us wants to know the family he chose to be with’: 17 and 19-year-old siblings refuse their absent father’s new wife's attempt to force them to “be a family”

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Sep 7, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Absent dad tries a comeback as Family Man with a hype squad wife, pitching togetherness like a rewards program and hinting that hugs might speed up his tab. It's all rebrand now, pay later, like a clearance sale on accountability.

Here's the plain version. Time missed is a bill that piles up, and the payment is boring consistency, not cute speeches. Biology starts the story, it doesn't earn the title; parent is a job you clock into daily, not a photo op in November. Boundaries aren't mean, they're seat belts, especially when someone keeps showing up uninvited with terms and conditions. One invite can be kind, repeated pop‑ups in public are pressure, and pressure just hardens a no. Love isn't leverage and child support isn't a coupon, mixing them is how trust goes up in smoke twice.

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  • AITA for rejecting my father's wife's attempt to bring me and my sister into their family?

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  • My sister (19f) and I (17m) were raised by our single mom. Our father was a deadbeat who left when mom was pregnant with me and he's got 50k of child support debt and counting (toward me).
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  • My sister and I used to see him places when we were kids. It's a small town and he never left and neither did mom.
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  • He'd just quit jobs and go to jail rather than pay support or be a dad.
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  • It was probably a year ago when my sister told me she saw him with a woman and kids.
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  • My sister and I were like and then we both saw him another day with just the kids.
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  • It was weird. Another time all three of us saw them. We were all in the same diner at the same time
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  • and he was acting like a parent for the first time ever. The woman with him noticed us watching and it was a few weeks after she stopped me and my sister and introduced herself and she tried to start a relationship between us. all.
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  • She had met dad online and they were married by then and he was "the most wonderful stepdad" to her kids.
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  • She approached me and my sister a few times on our own too when her first attempt at starting a relationship failed.
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  • A couple of times she told us he'd be more willing to get the child support back payments paid if we had a relationship.
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  • One time I got super far from her before she could get closer to me because she had one of her kids with me and I didn't want to start any shin front of kids.
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  • Last week she approached me on my own again and she told me how sad it would be for us not to be a family.
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  • She said my father would be adopting her kids in November and she'd love me and my sister to come and we could be a family.
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  • I asked her why she thinks either of us wants to know the family he chose to be with and why we'd want to see him be a father to kids who aren't even his over his actual kids.
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  • I told her she's wasting her time and us off and she needs to stay the h I away from us.
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  • She tried to yell at me but I walked away. I did hear her say something like I didn't need to be r de to her when she was trying to be nice.
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  • Like I said I was focused on getting away from her.
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  • But maybe I was harsh? IDK. I think saying something once is whatever but to keep trying is way too much.
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  • AITA?
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  • If there’s a path at all, it’s slow and quiet. Pay what’s owed without making it a performance, apologize without strings, and accept that forgiveness has no schedule and might never happen. Until then, no is a full sentence, and peace beats a forced family rollout every single time.

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family drama inheritance brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt in laws mother in law sister fiancé grandmother Father
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