Woman refuses to order with friend "James" after he always takes her food home instead of eating it there, her friends turn on her and accuse her of excluding him: 'You don't know about his finances'

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 9, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

When money is involved, people lose a bit of themselves. Greed, anxiety, financial ruin all come into play for a person to protect themselves from the thought of losing too much of what they have. Sometimes, the more money someone is born into the greedier they are. In the story here, money affects the friendship between two people. The narrator sometimes orders food for herself when she hosts her friends. She seems to be more than generous and will buy for everyone. She has one friend who never eats the food there, but takes it home with him. I completely understand her for being upset at this. It's not a charity or grocery donation. The food is for if you're hungry now. 

So after noticing his thievery multiple times, she decides to wait for him to leave her place before ordering food. Her friends notice and call her out. She tries to defend herself, but questions her decision to wait for him to leave. If you've ever had a cheap friend, you may understand what she's doing through. 

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  • 01

    Aitah for waiting for my friend to leave to order food

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  • 02
    So there's times when some friends and I will be hanging out and if I'm hungry I order some door dash or pizza delivery. I
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    always ask if they're hungry/what they want and I pay. It's not that often, every few months or so.
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  • 04
    There's been several times when people just weren't hungry and said no thanks or whatever. Fine cool, whatever.
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  • 05
    My friend James always claims he's hungry and wants something, but then doesn't eat it and takes it home. The first few
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  • 07
    times fine whatever but it's annoying when I'm ordering extra food because we're hanging out just for him to take it home. The
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    cost adds up and I'm not trying to do his grocery shopping.
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  • 09
    A while back we all got chicken. James grabbed his pieces and put it aside to take home. A mutual friend took a piece of his and ate
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    it. James got all bent out of shape saying "you don't eat another man's food". Our friend said he should have ate it then if he wanted it.
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  • 11
    So last time we all were hanging out and watching baseball. I waited for James to leave to order food. Someone noticed that I
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    waited and said that's mean to exclude James. That I don't know his finances.
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    I don't know his finances but I know he has a job and is known for being cheap and never reciprocating either.
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  • 14
    I don't like being taken advantage of. Aitah for waiting to order food.
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  • 15
    MoreSobet 1999 • 21h ago ...and they don't know your finances either, and it snot your responsibility to make sure a grown a, working
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    man eats! NTA and tell them if it's such a problem they can order and pay for his food!
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    dontstopmecow • 22h ago NTA. You're paying for their food because it's providing something for the group to do together.
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  • 18
    Flat_Ad_4950 • 21h ago Time to implement a new rule. Everyone chips in for food.
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    I do not let others foot my bill on principle unless they (my friends) insist and that
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    only happens on my birthday because they know I don't like it.
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    No seriously they chill at your home use your bathroom etc. and you are fine with that because they
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    O
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    are your friends and we do stuff for people we like/ love.
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    That doesn't mean you should carry the costs for takeout for everyone that's expensive as h_II.
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    In the end you do you. Just because I have different values or principles it doesn't mean I want to force them onto someone else.
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  • 26
    JustLittle Me73 • 21h ago You don't need to know his finances to know that they're not your responsibility or
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    consideration, especially if you haven't been asked to help.
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  • 28
    Nta. Perhaps next time you want to order when with a group, say "I'm going to order food, but can't cover
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    everyone. Does anyone want. to get in on this order, and you can cashapp/venmo/PayPal me
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    the money?" That way you're not "excluding" anyone, but also not being taken advantage of either.
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ordering friendship drama toxic friends relationships lol love family food reddit thread red flag Reddit funny fast food money dating
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