‘He'd side-eye me like I was the guy she told him not to worry about’: House cat spends years ignoring owner, suddenly becomes obsessed with him after the other cat passes away, leading to theories of a long con and a glitch in the cat matrix

Author image for Laurent Shinar
Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor
Sep 13, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

It should come as no big surprise that cats are a picky and particular bunch. Their mood and motivations can be swayed by something as non-intrusive as a gentle breeze and you will never quite know what or why their minds were changed. And to be fair, they likely do not know either. Which is what one man experienced after the passing of the other cats in the house, when the remaining feline suddenly became affectionate to him after years of throwing him side eyes.

Now we will say that this man did bring a dog with him into the house at the beginning of the relationship, and while the doggo did do its best to love the cattos, there is a good chance that this transgression is what stopped the clouder of cats from giving him the time of day. But regardless, the remaining cattos change of tune is an exciting and unexpected one that is for sure.
 

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  • 01
    So, bit of backstory: In 2020, I moved in with my then-girlfriend (now wife). Along with our shared life came a shared menagerie. I brought my dog, Gemma. She brought two cats: Indy and Pekoe. I had high
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  • 02
    hopes that the animals would become some quirky Pixar-style blended family. I was a fool. Gemma was the sweetest, scruffiest, quietest old mutt you've ever met. The kind of dog who looked like she'd seen things but mostly just wanted a
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  • 03
    gentle chest rub and a soft place to nap. She loved cats, in a way that felt like she wished they were her pets. I've seen her gently lay down next to cats, with this hopeful look on her face. She never barked. She didn't snuggle, exactly, but
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  • 04
    she'd lie nearby, always quietly hoping the cats might someday love her back. She was the canine equivalent of a kid on the first day of school holding out a juice box like, "Friends?"
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  • Oh goodness, that just got us right in the feels. What an analogy to pull out, first day of school, jheez, you could not get us any better than you just did there. Which makes the point of this story all the more curious, how could cats not love a man who raised such a sweet pupper?

  • 05
    Indy, one of the cats, was a calico tabby with the emotional range of a bomb about to go off. Chaos incarnate. She hated the move, hated Gemma, hated everything really, except for my wife and, somehow, eventually, me. For the
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  • 06
    first year I lived there, she refused to come down to the first floor. Eventually, she came around to me, but she never stopped treating Gemma like an unholy menace. Even once she started hanging out downstairs, she'd travel across furniture and
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    windowsills like a tiny fluffy assassin avoiding pressure plates, just to avoid setting paw where Gemma might have breathed. Poor Gemma had to give up on her dream of having a cat buddy real fast after getting swatted
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  • 09
    (undeservedly) two too many times. And then there was Pekoe. Pekoe is a large orange tabby with the emotional resilience of a wet loaf of bread. Anxious, clingy, and - this is important - he had absolutely no time for me.
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  • 10
    He was a sad fat boy who lived only for my wife. He didn't like me. He tolerated Gemma. He hated cuddles unless they came from his chosen human. If my wife closed her office door, he'd cry like the Romeo understudy in a high
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  • 11
    school drama class. He'd side-eye me like I was the guy she told him not to worry about. We had an understanding. I existed, and he pretended I didn't. So that was our house for years. Gemma trying to
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  • Wow, that went on for years? Gosh that must have been tough to put up with, and at least this man came into the relationship with his own pupper to show him some affection and kindness. Otherwise, who knows if this connection would have even lasted.

  • 13
    just exist peacefully with the dying hope the cats might one day accept her. Indy radiating murder vibes or snuggling my head with begrudging affection. Pekoe ignoring me with great enthusiasm. It was an uneasy truce, but it held.
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  • 14
    Two years ago, Gemma passed, peacefully, at 16. We were gutted. A few months later, Indy, who had slowly warmed up to me over time, decided I was her Person. She got clingy. She'd caterwaul when I left. Sleep on my chest, my head, my back.
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    Wherever she could drape her angry little body. Full gremlin energy, but affectionate. Recently, Indy's health declined. She had a worsening heart murmur, and about a month ago, we made the difficult decision to let her go
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    gently. She was 17. We were devastated all over again. And then, immediately after Indy's passing, like within a few days, something shifted. Pekoe changed.
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    Suddenly, the cat who had ignored me for four years became obsessed with me. He sleeps with me at night now. Rolls over for belly rubs like I'm some kind of feline massage therapist. He insists on being in my office all day. If I go back
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  • 19
    to bed, he climbs in and snuggles up like I'm the last patch of sunlight in the universe. He wants me to feed him now. And he'll ignore my wife, his actual person, to come bop my chair and demand attention. Then he purrs like a dying lawnmower and looks at
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  • 20
    me with the kind of absolute adoration usually reserved for cult leaders and those who open cans. We didn't change our routine. We didn't rearrange the house. My
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    wife is still very much present and fully available for cuddles. But Pekoe is acting like I'm his long- lost soulmate and he's making up for lost time. Which leaves both of us, me and my wife, completely baffled.
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    I have several theories: 1. Indy bullied him into keeping his distance, and now that she's gone, he's free to pursue this forbidden human romance.
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    2. He's grieving, and somehow senses I'm grieving too. But it feels less like "let's heal together" and more like "rub my belly, grief monkey."
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  • 25
    3. This is a long con. He's softening me up for something. I don't know what. He's terrible at being a cat, so probably not mr. But definitely something.
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  • 26
    The shift has been instant and total. I feel like I'm living with a completely different animal. Nothing else has changed. My wife is still here. She is supposed to be his person.
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    Now apparently I am? Has anyone else had a cat pull this kind of emotional U-turn? I feel like I'm living with a completely different animal now. I mean, I'm not complaining he's a great cuddler and he's terrible
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  • 28
    at being a cat, and that's sort of charming in its own right but I feel like I missed something here. Is this normal? Is this grief? Is he just now realizing I give excellent belly rubs? A glitch in the Cat Matrix? Or have I been a mark all along?
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glitch cat side eye suddenly matrix theories ignoring reddit story years cat story cat owners house cat obsessed
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