17-year-old girl calls out her wealthy best friend for making privileged jokes about money, after she was trying to relate to her below-average income family, claiming she's too broke to get lunch: 'That rubbed me the wrong way'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Sep 15, 2025 7:00 AM EDT

They say we attract friendships with those most similar to us, and maybe that's for good reason. It's debatable that opposites attract, and yet it is very present in the relationships around us. But does having a similar lifestyle, morals, and, in this case, standard of living, correspond to a more successful relationship in the long run? With different perspectives and priorities, a gap opens up for disagreements. 

Cue…this friendship! A prime example of how different standards of living could cause an uncomfortable wedge between two friends. When this 'well-off' friend, named Emma (great name btw,) is on a call with her father about the application process for her new private school, they begin discussing proof of funds to be sent off to the school. This banterous conversation leads to a joke about 'all the houses in her area costing three million dollars.' This harmless joke seemed to rub her less-privileged friend the wrong way, which is understandable. However, her response was slightly uncalled for and mimicked a spark of jealousy. Despite these differences, they are best friends, so it would be truly unfortunate to let a 'disagreement of humor', especially surrounding money, come between them.
 

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    Jealous woman looking at her friend's phone
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  • 02

    AITA for telling my friend that her making jokes about the cost of her home sounds spoilt and disconnected?

    I (17F) have been best friends with "Emma" (17F) for around two years. We met at a community service volunteer event for animals. We are
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    pretty much the opposite in terms of finance. Her family, in short, is wealthy. Extremely. 7 figures a year, multiple
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    properties, she's set for life if she wants it. I, on the other hand, am in a below-average income family. We have had issues with power, water, bills, etc.
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    I go to a free public school, Emma goes private. She's generally a really great person, we have lots of fun together and hang out almost all the time. My
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    family treats her as our own, and hers does the same for me. The only issue I ever had with her was that she acts broke. Her and her driver will come to pick me up, we'll
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    go to eat and she'll say, "Oh no I'm not going to order anything I'm too broke" (this is kind of fair, i guess) or she'll say things like, "I wish I had to work and contribute like you have
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    to" as if this is something to dream out. She acts like me having to work to help my family survive is a dream I never liked that she acted like she
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    "got it", because she doesn't, and she never will. It's a struggle she will never understand. The other day, she had picked me up, and in the car she picked up a
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    call from her father. She told him that the university she's applying to needs proof of his finances to see that he can afford it. He made a joke
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    saying, "Can't they just look at this house, it costs 3 million dollars." and she laughed and said, "Dad, it's [where they live], everyone's house costs 3 million dollars."
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    That rubbed me the wrong way, I told her that makes her sound spoilt, and "if [she] wants to be so much like me and understand the struggle, she wouldn't be able to make this joke"
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    She kind of went quiet and has been replying to me kind of dry. AITA? It's very possible I was just angry and blew up but it felt really justified.
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    thechaoticstorm YTA This post reeks of jealousy and resentment. She is a bit tone deaf, but it is also possible that she WANTS to have a job and her family will not allow it. Having income that is your own as opposed to your parents' is very empowering.
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    However while she was tone deaf, what you said was actually mean. Sit down with her and explain that these comments are hurtful even if it is unintentional.
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    Original-Bed-5597 YTA. I grew up poor and had a friend who was from an upper middle class /upperclass family- expensive restaurant, luxury hotel vacations, horses, a pool. Luxury cars. She still had an allowance so if she spent it all, she was broke.
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    glassbellwitch YTA. Your wealthy friend joked about the cost of housing in the neighborhood where she lives and it "rubbed you the wrong way?" How? It's the truth.
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    Endsln-ing YTA. This reaction is a You Thing, especially since she was talking to her dad and you got upset about someone else's conversation. Their exchange, between them, was contextually appropriate.
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    Riposte12 YTA - What is she supposed to do? Beg for forgiveness of the crime of who she was born to?
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    Only-Breadfruit-6108 It wasn't justified at all, you got offended at her joke, which wasn't even to you or about you, and you reacted badly and in a spiteful manner. YTA. Not for being real but for really trying to hurt her when she hasn't don't anything like that to you
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    gingeralgae She does sound a tad out of touch, but I'm not sure judgement can fully be made with what you've said. It sounds like we're missing info about her family dynamics. Is she actually set for life as you say or does her family control everything she does and keep her completely dependent on them? her parents being rich doesn't inherently mean she has access to their money.
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  • If you’re born into a family that makes 5 figures a month, it’s unlikely you know what it's like to feel hungry, nor can you relate to those who do. If you grow up sharing a room with a few family members at a time, it is also unlikely that you would stress over the small interior design details of a room that has four walls and a roof. You may feel for them, and at the same time still not necessarily fully grasp what it would be like to walk in their shoes. In that case, you may be sympathetic, but not necessarily empathetic.

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friendship wealthy-friends job joking comparison finance friends wage-bracket public school private school earning standard-of-living jealousy privilage unaware rich Father
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