Couple plans week-long vacation, only for husband's boss to deny his PTO, he blames wife for his poor planning: ‘He used all his PTO from taking random days off’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Sep 16, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Anyone with a standard full-time, 5-9 job knows that planning a vacation takes months in advance. Not only because of the usual tasks, like booking the flight and finding a hotel, but also because you have to ensure your workplace will actually let you leave.

Saving up your PTO is a weird mental space to find yourself in. Knowing that you have days off waiting to be used, but saving them up for a vacation that is months away. It's not fun, to say the least.

The husband in the story below would likely agree with this statement, mostly because his PTO usage might force him to cancel the vacation he had planned with his wife. He didn't plan in advance, didn't keep track of his PTO, and now he is one day short of the long-anticipated vacation. His boss now refuses to approve the time off, and the husband refuses to admit that this is all his fault.

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  • Blaming his wife for his fumble might not be the best solution, but that is what he is going for. Will that help save the vacation? Keep scrolling to read the full story and let us know what you think in the comments below.

  • 01
    "He might just quit his job to go on this trip"
    via Timur Weber

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITAH for my husband blaming me that he no longer has enough PTO for a trip we planned a year ago?

    So a bit of context. My husband and I are going on a trip next month for a week. International so we are leaving on a Sunday, a week abroad, and then coming back on a Monday.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 03
    We booked this trip one year ago. Now when we booked the trip a year ago he assured me he has enough PTO. So the past few months we excitedly planned for the trip.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 04
    Now my husband and I both work very mentally draining jobs (I'm at a hospital, he does heavy community support work with the worst situations you can imagine). We take sick time when we need to, but we both agreed to keep track of our PTO to ensure we have time for this vacation.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 05
    (we need it, it's been 3 years since our last. We both need the break). Now his boss says she may not give him the time off despite him requesting it months ago.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 06
    She says it's because he only has 4 days time off by the time we go. I called him today just to say hi (he's been depr sed the last 2 days), and then he tells me this.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 07
    He's livid, angry and blaming me for booking the trip. now and says I had bad timing...and that he used all his Pto from taking random days off throughout the year.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 08
    I feel guilty, but we literally booked the trip a year ago and he and I planned everything the past year to ensure it was paid off and we would be all set.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 09
    I calmly explained that I have no control of when he takes time off, didn't know he took those extra days. I don't want to argue. But I feel lost.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 10
    He says he might just quit his job to go on this trip, which to me is insane to do cause we both need his second income. He also is considering that he wants to cancel this trip, which doesn't seem fair to both of us.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 11
    He wanted to go last week, and now because of this news. he's all p ed. I told him we can cancel and postpone it, but that set him off. I don't know what to do to be honest.
    via Interesting_Word9452
  • 12
    UnPracticed Pagan No you're NTA but your husband is He's also deflecting all accountability for taking his extra time off on you instead of the person who took the days off... him!
    via UnPracticed_Pagan
  • 13
    TIME OFF REQUEST
    via Hailshadow

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    K_A_irony He needs to have another conversation with his boss. This feels like an 'earned PTO' shop. If he has any tenure he can explain he doesn't plan on using any other PTO this year
    via K_A_irony
  • 15
    or what ever or he could offer to take ONE DAY unpaid. His boss should be reasonable. He need to explain this is pre-booked, expensive and important to his wife.
    via K_A_irony
  • 16
    Background_System726 Nta but I'm super confused. He has 4 days. That means in a typical work week he would only miss one day. He can take that one day with no pay or even 2
    via Background_System726
  • 17
    days with no pay. So you all can enjoy your vacation. Hopefully, the supervisor understands that this trip has been paid for in advance and that he will take the leave he requested months ago in hopes that she understands
    via Background_System726
  • 18
    HereForTheDrama280 Umm, correct me if I'm wrong, but if he's got a typical five day work week and four days of PTO can't he just take one unpaid day off?
    via HereForTheDrama280
  • 19
    I mean, you can't change his boss being crappy about it and if they deny the request after he requested it months ago I'd be tempted to tell them to stuff the job too, but the solution feels so simple.
    via HereForTheDrama280
  • 20
    Worse case scenario tell the boss he only needs four days and call in sick for one. If they try to fire him he could try to claim wrongful dismissal. Probably not worth getting in trouble over one day for them.
    via HereForTheDrama280

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Tags

relationship advice boss aita marriage drama wife relationship-drama relationships husband PTO couples love workplace married vacation
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