'That is not acceptable': Cat-obsessed wife convinces husband to foster coworker's cat "temporarily", he demands she give it up for adoption after her lie is exposed

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Sep 14, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Marriages are tough. As someone who has been in a relationship for 5+ years (and is getting married next week!), we can safely say that navigating the low points of the relationship requires a purrfect patience, listening, and furrgiveness. And it's definitely not one-sided, we have been the ones needing furrgiveness as well. It also doesn't just blow over in a second; it takes hours, days, sometimes even weeks to come back to normal after a big argument. But in the end, it's the willingness to furrgive, and make it work, that keeps the partnership alive. One of the things that can easily break all of that hard work, though, is trust.

If you lose trust in your partner, in the relationship, then all the building blocks on top of that start to crumble. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. You have to trust that your partner will be there for you when you need them. And most impawtantly, you have to trust that they will tell you the truth. Lying to your partner is never a good idea - one simple lie, if exposed, can destroy years of trust in no time at all.

So yes, this story below is about a wife really wanting a cat and the husband not being on board. A pet should be a two-purrson decision, every time. She brings home a coworker's cat (who they can't care for anymore) under the purretense that it's temporary, and only after a week reveals that she has no plans on getting the cat a new home. But the issue isn't really the cat, it's the fact that she lied, made a decision without him, and is making his authority in the house smaller by ignoring his opinion. We hope the cat finds a good home because it certainly doesn't deserve to be mixed up in all this pawsitively disastrous drama.

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  • 01

    Am I [wrong] for making my wife get rid of “her” cat

    Orange cat receiving pets including 'She made a promise and went back on it'
    via Johnny Song from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So wife and I have been together for 18 years and have a teenage son. During most of those, we've had two dogs. Unfortunately, we've lost both of them and she's often brought up getting another pet, which I've been resistant to. I like the freedom of not having to worry about pet care if we want to take off for a weekend, and also just feel I'm not ready for the emotional attachment to another animal.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 03
    She's discussed both dogs and cats, and our teenage son likes both as well. For the past year or so she's been working me on getting a cat, which I don't want. She's gone as far as telling me that she might just show up with one one day, and I've told her that that is not acceptable. I even got her to promise me that she understood how I felt about it and that she wouldn't do it.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 04
    Well, last week she did it. She said it was one of her coworkers that couldn't keep it and that she was going to take care of it until other arrangements could be made. I don't believe her, as it literally came with a crate from a local animal hospital with the cat's name and age on it, and has a tag from the county humane society.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 05
    I originally agreed to give her three days for her and her coworker to make other arrangements, but she started buying things for it that basically told me that there was no intention of the cat going anywhere else.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 06
    Mom and son petting cat
    via annakraynova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    Yesterday, after one week, I asked what the plan was and she got mad, asking why she couldn't just keep it. She said that her and our son wanted it, so I should just accept it and allow it. I reminded her of our conversations about this very subject, but things are devolving and she's basically ignoring me.
    via No-Championship5614

  • Even if you don't agree with them, you can't just ignore your partner's feelings. Then, it's no longer a partnership. This situation is headed downhill fast, and we hope they figure out a way to solve it while still keeping the cat's best interests at heart.

  • 08
    I feel disrespected and, on top of that, that she's teaching our son that my objections have no weight and that as long as they both agree on something that they can just do as they wish.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 09
    So, A A for sticking to my point and telling her that they need to rehome the cat and that it's not staying with us? Edit to answer some questions and add some clarification.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 10
    Edit to answer some questions and add some clarification. I've never said that we wouldn't have pets ever again, just that I don't want them at this time. Neither her or son have voiced any strong need or desire to have one, but wife brings it up once every few months after a tik-tok animal binge. Son doesn't really care, he just likes cats.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 11
    Holding a baby kitten
    via Cats Coming from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • We understand where the husband is coming from…. but how could you say no to a face like that? If the cat really doesn't have anywhere to go, and you have the financial ability to care for it… what harm could it do? 

  • 12
    We've discussed it and ultimately end up in agreement. I'm not dictating anything, we have a real conversation as married couples do. I hear her, she hears me, we come to a mutual understanding.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 13
    Wife and son take off more weekends, for a shared interest, than we do as a family, so I will end up being responsible for caretaking. When we do go away as a family, leaving a pet behind alone bothers me. When it was the dogs, these trips weren't as frequent and we had a neighbor who also has dogs and helped us out so I knew that were well taken care of.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 14
    When she brought the cat home, it was framed as taking care of it until her coworker found a permanent solution. Over the course of the week, I felt like she was making us the solution, and that's when I raised my objections. According to her, they have a couple people who might take her, so she's still staying with us while that plays out.
    via No-Championship5614
  • 15
    NaughtyCharmss • 7h ago honesty feels like this is more about being heard in ur marriage than about the cat itself
    via NaughtyCharmss
  • 16
    . janus1981 7h ago The number of people ignoring that she made a promise and went back on it is mind boggling.
    via janus1981
  • 17
    TrashyCat94 • 7h ago NTA. You're allowed to disagree on wanting animals. If it's worth your marriage, then stay firm on no cats, and divorce. She can have her cat at her house and you don't get a cat at yours. She is TA for sneaking the cat in. Pets are a 2 yes choice, just like children. You said no, she either needs to accept that and not have a cat, or divorce you and get a cat
    via TrashyCat94
  • 18
    Mistyam 7h ago • NTA- THE most important thing about boundaries is enforcing them. If you go back on this now it's just going to teach her and your son to manipulate people by going behind their backs and just expecting them to adjust. She made a promise to you and she broke it.
    via Mistyam
  • 19
    SelfLovingLoner ⚫ 7h ago nah ur not an AH for feeling disrespected, she promised not to do it then went behind ur back. but forcing her to rehome it after a week might cause way bigger issues. u guys need a real convo about trust and compromise, not just the cat.
    via SelfLovingLoner
  • 20
    Few_Drink_1632 • 7h ago NTA. I think there definitely needed to be more discussion between the two of you before this. It's a big deal to get a pet and something both partners need to be on board with. I think your wife also deserved to be listened to more, though.
    via Few_Drink_1632
  • 21
    With a cat, you can leave extra food out and it's okay for the weekend if you need to take off. It sounds like she was lonely following the loss of your dogs and it isn't unreasonable for her to want another pet. While it was
    via Few_Drink_1632
  • 22
    certainly wrong of her to make this decision without you and lie about it, I think you need to be more compassionate and hear her out. Be gentle with your wife. Relationships are about teamwork but also about give and take. Staying
    via Few_Drink_1632
  • 23
    firm on "no cat" for a year of her pleading, for very little reasoning, is a bit harsh in my opinion. We can often get so caught up in our own heads and forget to be open to hearing what other people are feeling.
    via Few_Drink_1632

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marriage drama adoption lies foster wife husband exposed Cats animals
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