'I would wish that she doesn't have to be afraid of us': Pawrents adopt a shy 5-year-old and a year later are still trying to build trust and find what will make her feel at home

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Sep 14, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

These pawrents brought home a shy five-year-old and are doing everything to make her comfortable. At night she's brave, exploring, balcony watching, batting toys, checking for snacks. When the house is calm, curiosity shows. During the day, confidence shrinks. She retreats to safe spots, listens to every sound, and only peeks out when the room goes still. Tuna helps most of the time, but one small movement and she's gone again.

That gap is what tugs at the pawrents' hearts. The camera proves she wants to explore, just not with people moving around yet. They celebrate that she eats, plays, uses her litter box, and adores balcony time, but they ache to see that same relaxed energy while they're present. They speak softly, sit quietly, and cheer for every micro-win when she chooses to linger nearby.

These pawrents keep asking if this is simply the pace of trust or if something is missing. Would another cat help her feel safer, or would it unsettle the fragile calm she's built? More than anything, they want her to feel that "home" includes them too.

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  • 01
    'She was so shy nobody wanted to adopt her so we decided to give her a chance'
    via Mohammed Kraymi / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Hi, we adopted an extremely shy cat in December 24. I have to say that we made quite a good progress in the last few months but it seems, that the next step is just too big for her.
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 03
    We adopted her from a shelter where she spent almost her whole life. It's assumed that she was seperated from her mother very early and was brought to the shelter when she was very young. now she's 5 years old. Because she was so shy nobody wanted to adopt her so we decided to give her a chance. She's living in a 65m2 apartment with a secured balcony with us.
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 04
    Where do we stand already: she definitely feels home here, she has several spots in which she feels safe and sleeps during the day. At night she comes out and wanders through the apartment. We have the door to the balcony open at night for her to get out
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 05
    and she loves it. We can see over a camera we set up, that she spends much time outside looking at her surroundings. She's eating okay (could be a little bit more), goes to the toilet and even plays with some toy we lay out for her.
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10553722624
    via Simona Weber / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    During the day it's unfortunately a bit different. When we leave for work she also wanders around when she's awake but when we are at home she just stays at her spots. When we are completely still, while watching a movie for example, she sometimess comes out and looks around a bit. But at
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 08
    the slightest movement from us she goes back to her spots. We know that she loves tuna so we place it near us sometimes. When we're sitting on the couch and place some tuna near us she comes out in maybe 70% of the times and eats it. But she's always afraid of us.
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 09
    I don't expect her to be a cat that wants to cuddle or anything, but I would wish that she doesn't have to be afraid of us. How can I show that to her? It's now almost ten months and in the last few weeks I don't have the impression, that the situation is getting in any direction. We thought if it would help to get another cat that can 'show her'
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10553616128
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 11
    that we're no danger. But the shelter told us that she didn't have any connection to other cats while loving there, she just accepted them to be there. I don't want to destroy her sense of security by bringing an 'intruder' to her safe space.
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 12
    So lang Story short, any tips or experiences would be appreciated. English isn't my native language, so I'm sorry if something isn't clear.
    via Affectionate_Ride369
  • 13
    Superb_Response... She sounds like shes come a long way already, even if it feels slow. With really shy cats it can take a year or more before they fully relax. Just keep giving her safe spots, move slowly around her, and let her come to you
    via Superb_Response7575
  • 14
    on her terms. The tuna trick is great, over time shell start to connect you with good things instead of fear. Patience really is the biggest key.
    via Superb_Response7575

  • Tuna for the win! With time, patience, and a calm routine, she’ll keep building confidence and start feeling more comfortable sharing her world with her pawrents. Slow progress is still progress.

  • 15
    Calgary Calico Slow blinks, it's how cats show trust and it works when we do it to them too. Every time she looks at you give her a couple slow blinks and try a soft, slow pet.
    via Calgary_Calico
  • 16
    x_rainbow_x With some cats, because of their background, you just have to accept that they're the "look and don't touch" type of pet.
    via x_rainbow_x
  • 17
    lanDOsmond She's not afraid of you. She's just cautious. I would just wave at her and say hi when I saw her and otherwise ignore her. She seems content.
    via lanDOsmond

  • Say hello when you see her, keep things calm, and don’t worry too much. She isn’t unhappy, just taking her time getting used to the new situation and her pawrents.

  • 18
    GaudyNight I am big fan of clicker training. She seems to be food motivated, so it might work. Load the clicker and then click and reward every step in the right direction. So don't use it to teach her tricks (that might come later) but to widen her comfort zone. Remember, you try to get her just one paw over her boundary at a time. It's worth a try.
    via GaudyNight
  • 19
    kadawkins Perhaps leave a worn shirt near her quiet places so she has more con at t with your scent and starts to associate your smell with her safe places. Just tucked nearby.
    via kadawkins
  • 20
    JF0170 I had a kitty like that and just had patience. First he hid, only coming out at 3-5 am to eat and look around, then came out during the day and discovered he liked sitting by an open window when I wasnt home, then he started coming out and sitting by the window when I was home until he stopped hiding altogether. Just be patient with him.
    via JF0170

  • Patience is the most important thing here. Every tiny step forward matters. With gentle consistency and time, she’ll learn that her pawrents mean safety, and her confidence will keep blooming.

  • 21
    mariace65 Give her time, be patient. Talk to her in a soft voice and if she looks at you- slow blinks. The slow blinks really can work wonders. Don't give up on her, and let her be the only cat. She'll get there. It can take a long time, but it will happen
    via mariace65

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pets adopted advice cat owners pawrents Cats rescue feline apartment
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