28-year-old tech employee vows to help pay for younger siblings' college, her father now pressures her to split the funds with new step-siblings she hasn't met: 'I don’t even know them!'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Sep 19, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

When money comes in between family members, all decorum often goes out the door. While it's easy to claim that no force in the world is stronger than that of a familial bond, the truth of the matter is that the tensions formed as a result of money can be an even stronger force. We tend to see this conflict play out after a family member is gone, and everyone fights over inheritance drama. However, in this instance, not only was everyone very much alive, but the age dynamics were more surprising compared to what we're used to seeing play out when we come across these stories. 

For this author, she was a successful tech employee who managed to make more money than her father by the age of 28. Of course, this is not to disparage the efforts that her father made, but his daughter's success most certainly upended the typical dynamics you see within a family. The author made it known to her younger siblings, who were teenagers just beginning the college application process, that she would be paying for their higher education. She had been saving for years and was proud to be able to make the lives of her younger sister and brother considerably easier. 

Here's where things start to get messy. Within the past year, the author's father remarried to a woman who has two kids of her own. Now, the father wants his daughter to split the amount of money she saved four ways so that his stepkids can benefit from that college money as well. The problem is that the author barely knows her step-siblings and has no desire to take money away from her actual siblings, especially since she already promised those funds to them personally. We do not predict this ending well for anyone involved!

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  • "[Am I wrong] for not paying for my dad’s new wife’s kids’ college when I promised to cover my siblings’?"

    Young blonde woman holds her hand in the face of an older blonde woman as they argue while sitting on a couch.
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  • It seems that the father's desire to please his stepkids and new wife overshadowed any sense of fairness and reason that he might have previously possessed. At the end of the day, he has no jurisdiction over how this money is disseminated. After all, it's not his money! It's his daughter's money!

  • 1 (28F) make good money in tech. A few years ago, I told my two younger siblings (19M, 17F) that when the time came, I'd help pay for their college since my dad couldn't. They were thrilled, and I've been saving specifically for them.
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • Recently, my dad remarried a woman (36F) who has two kids (16M, 15F). Now he's pressuring me to "be fair" and split my savings four ways instead of two. He says they're "family now" and it's selfish to "pick favorites."
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • But I never made that promise to them. I don't even know them well, and I worked hard to set aside money for my siblings. My dad called me cold and accused me of "punishing" his wife's kids just because they're not bl |- related.
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • My siblings are upset too, they feel like their future is being stolen. My stepmom keeps saying "love makes a family," but I don't think it means I should foot the bill. AITA for refusing to split the money?
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • Material_Cellist4133. NTA But just say... "I will match whatever stepmother put an into my bio-siblings fund. You know so we can keep everything
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  • good and fair. Because if we are doing something for her kids, she needs to do something for my siblings." They won't say much after that.
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • BreakfastOk163. NTA you made a promise to your siblings and you are keeping it. These other children have (presumably) two parents who are responsible for their education. Your dad should be thrilled you are helping your own siblings, that's actually his job.
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • Two young women apply nail polish on their feet while sitting on the couch together.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Decent_Front4647. NTA. They're just trying to manipulate you to get what they want.
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  • BeautifulTerm3753. NTA - the fact that your own father is abusing your hard earned money and kindness tells us all who he is! It is literally your money. And you can say no.
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • OverRice2524. I'd just agree. Yep, I'm not paying money to people who aren't blod related to me. Your dad chose to remarry, he chose his new wife and their children, you didn't. He
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • doesn't get to insist you suddenly pay for two strangers. Guess it's time for him to get a 2nd job. NTA
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  • Net_Curiosity. Nta. You don't have any responsibility towards them and no familial connection.
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  • Just because they recently became your dad's stepkids doesn't automatically mean you will see them as family and equal to your own siblings, and it's crazy of your dad to expect that. If
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  • he cares so much about them, he should start a college fund for them, instead of expecting you (an effective stranger) to do it
    via Juniper_Snickers
  • BerneDoodleLover... NTA - it is kind enough from you to help your sibblings. You have no obligations to pay for your step-sibblings. Dad is willing to throw them under the bus.
    via Juniper_Snickers

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family drama stepmother aita AITAH siblings stepmom entitled people karma dad family money college entitled people
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