'I wish I could tell her that he’s safe, but I know if I did she would want him back': Cat lover rescues hug-giving tuxedo only to discover he had a furmily that let him down, but now he's safed and loved in a new home

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Sep 23, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

This whiskered tale is straight out of a cat soap opera. A feral colony prowls the neighborhood, but one tuxedo tom decided to switch teams. The plan was simple: trap, neuter, release. Instead, this charmer purred his way into a flea bath, then wrapped his paws around a hooman's neck like a clingy toddler at daycare. Hug life chose him.

Nine months later, the plot thickened: a Facebook post from a woman searching for her missing tuxie, famous for his hugs. Same forehead spot, same snuggle addiction. Turns out Mr. Huggy Pants already had a furmily. Cue the guilt, the drama, the catastrophe of split loyalties.

But here's the kicker: when he was found, this tuxedo was flea-ridden, scratched, unneutered, and roaming the streets like a tomcat troubadour. His new hooman sees it as further proof he was neglected. Now, he's neutered, spoiled, bonded to a fellow feline, and living his best nine lives indoors.

So, is ignoring the post the right call or just feline fine with a side of guilt? Either way, this cat clearly voted with his paws.

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  • 01
    'I assumed he was a friendly stray who lived in the colony and kept him'
    via Imagenes de Andres Diaz / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So a feral cat colony lives in my neighborhood, and I often trap them to be spayed/neutered. In December 2024 I trapped an adult tuxedo cat. I was planning on neutering and releasing him but he was so loving. I brought him inside for a flea bath and he would not stop hugging me. Like literally putting both arms around
    via ApartmentMobile1299
  • 03
    my neck. After taking him to the vet I saw he wasn't neutered or microchipped and had tapeworms. I assumed he was a friendly stray who lived in the colony and kept him.
    via ApartmentMobile1299
  • 04
    Fast forward nine months and a friend sent me a Facebook post on a local community page of a woman claiming she was missing her cat. A picture showed a male tuxedo and she even said he loved to give HUGS. I knew it was him because he has a distinct white spot in the middle of his forehead. I was shocked. She
    via ApartmentMobile1299
  • 05
    said she knew it was a long shot since he went missing in December but she was not aware of the lost pet Facebook page, only the local shelter who was not much help since he never made it there... he made it in my house instead.
    via ApartmentMobile1299
  • 06
    I feel so guilty because she is probably thinking the worst happened to him. I wish I could tell her that he's safe, but I know if I did she would want him back. My friend thinks giving him back is the right thing to do but he has the best home with me and has bonded with my cat and I. In the ladies post she said her four yr old daughter misses him and that
    via ApartmentMobile1299
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10556621568
    via Magenta / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    he was their beloved outdoor/indoor cat. I truly feel bad for the owner's daughter, however the woman does not sound like a good cat owner. It is not legal in our city to let your cats roam and it is extremely dangerous for them. Also, he was in bad condition and not neutered
    via ApartmentMobile1299
  • 09
    so I think it's very irresponsible she was letting him outside to reproduce and expand the colony near our homes. He is just so happy with me and I would hate for him to end up missing/de d as a part time outdoor cat. So, am I the a hole for pretending like I never saw the post?
    via ApartmentMobile1299
  • 10
    EDIT: a lot of people are wondering why I didn't make more of an effort to contact the owners. Looking back I probably should have. In addition to the things I've already stated, he was infested with fleas, had scratches all over his face and ears, did not understand how to use stairs,
    via ApartmentMobile1299
  • 11
    and was terrified of my tv. His poor condition, slight under- socialization, and unfamiliarity with common household things led me to believe he did not have owners
    via ApartmentMobile1299
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10556633856
    via stayhereforu from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    stillrooted NTA. If he was indoor/outdoor and unaltered he wasn't their beloved pet, he was their negligently supervised roommate.
    via stillrooted
  • 14
    M... Illegally free roaming, unaltered and unchipped? Functionality, that cat was abandoned. NTA, obviously
    via MsMeiriona
  • 15
    XSamHealyX NTA. Microchip him. She is an irresponsible pet owner.
    via XSamHealyX
  • 16
    I-cant-hug-every-... NTA. It's not about them, it's about the cat and he is better with you. Microchip him
    via I-cant-hug-every-cat

  • Best to get the cat microchipped so he’s officially yours and protected. If anything ever happens, there’s no confusion. He’ll be traced right back to you as his forever home.

  • 17
    Educational-Lime-... NTA-if they actually loved the cat and had the inclination and capacity to look after him he wouldn't have been in such a state when you found him. Owners who don't meet basic veterinary needs or have a pet microchiped shouldn't be responsible for an animal's life and welfare.
    via Educational-Lime-393
  • 18
    Cre... Look, it's kind of an ah le move to keep the cat and not tell the owner, but I think it's completely justifiable. You couldn't tell her without her demanding the cat back. And I don't think you should give the cat back. The cat has settled in as has a good life with you.
    via CreamingSleeve
  • 19
    The woman was a bad pet owner for not neutering or microchipping her cat. Perhaps this will teach her a lesson because feral cats are a huge issue environmentally and her negligence effects the native flora and fauna, not to mention the poor cats themselves.
    via CreamingSleeve
  • 20
    Ultimately, NTA. Good on you for the work you're doing, and for giving tuxedo kitty a loving hand caring home.
    via CreamingSleeve

  • It might feel a little mean, but the cat wasn’t chipped and has fully settled with you. Letting him roam and losing him shows irresponsible ownership on their part.

  • 21
    Aquatic_Hedgehog NTA it's not about you or her or even her daughter. It's about the cat, and the cat is better off with a non- neglectful owner who will keep it inside and get it proper medical care. Make sure you get YOUR cat chipped and keep your vet bills.
    via Aquatic_Hedgehog
  • 22
    aira... NTA. If you could figure out a way to let her know her cat is safe without stirring up trouble, you should try. Unfortunately I can't think of how that could be done. Edit: While lack of microchip and spaying does indicate bad ownership, in fairness, it's possible that heath issues happened while he was lost.
    via airawyn

  • If possible, letting the owner know their cat is safe and cared for without actually giving him back might be the best option. That way, they get peace of mind too.

  • 23
    Elizabeth444444 NTA. If you really want to make a burner account and contact her but make sure it's impossible for her to trace you and that you've got ownership locked down
    via Elizabeth444444

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Cats pets adopted feline pawrents stray hug rescue
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