The pizza I bake is so emo it cuts itself.
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Grandparents show up to 14-year-old granddaughter's birthday party 2 hours late, get angry that they started the party without them: 'I even called them the night before the party and reminded them that we would start at the given time.'
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40-year-old allows 35-year-old sister to pay her mortgage and avoid foreclosure, refuses to attend youngest sibling's baby shower at her house 6 months later: 'She couldn't imagine being in Sally's home after what she did to her'
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Employee gets suspended for a week with no explanation, quits but sabotages work truck on last day: ‘Before I returned the truck, I release 6 stinky air fresher tags in it’
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'That's not up for discussion or negotiation': Baby daddy's pregnant new wife demands ex-wife get rid of the 2 kittens she gifted her daughter because of her allergies, claiming that it's bad for the baby
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4-year-old kid causes raucous at restaurant, server disciplines him, parents throw a fit at the manager: ‘You weren’t parenting, so a server did it for you’
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