Chef's boyfriend's sister expects to use her restaurant for free for massive party, doesn't understand why that's not possible: 'She assumed I could get the food covered because it's my workplace'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 1, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Some people have sky-high expectations. They can't help it. They expect the world to bend toward them, and they don't care how that happens. They just expect that the world will roll out the red carpet for them wherever they go, for nothing in return. But this isn't how life works. And at a certain point, you learn that. You can't take advantage of your friends; otherwise, they will stop being your friends. This applies to your friends' jobs. Maybe you have a pal who works at a coffee shop, and they're happy to give you a free cold brew every now and then when you come and visit them at work. That's one thing. 

But to expect a fully-comped meal at a restaurant for you and all of your friends? When your friend doesn't even own the restaurant and just works there? You've got to keep dreaming. But some people just expect the impossible to unfold for them, and get upset at everybody in their way when it doesn't. That's what happened in this story, where a chef got an interesting message.

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  • A female chef flips burgers in a commercial kitchen.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When she got a message about using the restaurant where she worked for a private party, she knew that it wasn't possible. But when she tried to explain that to her boyfriend's sister, she ran into some family drama, unbeknownst to her. Scroll on to read what happened in this story. 

  • AITAH for refusing to let my boyfriend's sister use my restaurant job to throw a free party?

    I'm 33 and I work as a chef at a restaurant. It's not my place, I'm just part of the kitchen staff, but I've worked really hard to get to where I am. The job is strict, if I mess around or try to take advantage, I could lose everything I've built.
    via u/JitterTaco
  • My boyfriend's sister is 27. She came to me yesterday saying she wanted to throw a surprise birthday party for her boyfriend this weekend. Instead of booking somewhere, she basically told me we could use my restaurant since I work there. On top of that, she assumed I could get the food covered because it's my workplace.
    via u/JitterTaco
  • I told her that's not possible. The restaurant doesn't belong to me, and if she wants to host something there, she'd have to book and pay like everyone else. She didn't like that answer saying it wouldn't really cost the restaurant much and that I should be able to sort it out.
    via u/JitterTaco
  • When I stood firm, she got angry and accused me of not helping family. She said I probably get free food all the time anyway and that I was just being stingy. Perplexed, the only free food we get is one staff meal per shift. Anything else has to be paid for. If I tried to sneak food out, that would be theft, plain and simple.
    via u/JitterTaco
  • I explained this, but she didn't want to hear, said I was making things more difficult than they needed to be and accused me of acting selfish and above family because of my job. She ended up leaving upset and now she's telling everyone that I ruined her plans for her boyfriend.
    via u/JitterTaco
  • Her brother.. my boyfriend on his opinion thinks that I should've found some kind of compromise, but I don't see what compromise there is. If I give in, I could lose my job. AITAH?
    via u/JitterTaco
  • A chef and a cook discuss something in a kitchen.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters agreed that this was a bonkers request.

    No-Process-8478 4h ago NTA • Your boyfriend's sister is an idiot and a cheapskate
    via u/No-Process-8478
  • imf4rds 4h ago What kind of compromise? I have to do private dining for my job and it costs thousands of dollars to book a room, have a menu and etc. Not to mention service fees. She is 27 and should understand how things in the real world work. If your work has a private dining brochure, provide that and ask them how they they think you'd get a fee this high covered for her completely free. The delusion is strong with these dummies. NTA
    via u/imf4rds
  • Carmen DeeJay • 3h ago I'd suggest a compromise as follows: "Yes, sister, I will be happy to provide a party for your boyfriend free of charge. However, when I lose my job, you will be responsible for covering my salary indefinitely until I can find a comparable replacement job. I'd like a contract signed, and I'd also like the boyfriend to guarantee full remuneration, as well."
    via u/CarmenDeeJay
  • Slow-Try8738 · 4h ago why are you even trying to explain? They collectively have 2 brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place
    via u/Slow-Try8738
  • notanotherretrograde 4h ago throw the whole family away
    via u/notanotherretrograde
  • Ok_Scarcity545 3h ago NTA and were I you, I'd talk to your manager about the possibility that she may try something shady to get free food/accommodations at the restaurant. Cover your own a
    via u/Ok_Scarcity545
  • Inside_Major_8078 Holy ?!?! 4h ago Not married = Not family (in this case). Boyfriend needs to find his b@lls and tell his sister to stop being cheap and trying to get something for nothing.
    via u/Inside_Major_8078
  • Red flag strike on boyfriend for even thinking you should jeopardize your job/reputation. I'd be looking long and hard at your boyfriend, what other things does he think you should do?
    via u/Inside_Major_8078
  • Effective_Pen_4696 · 3h ago You have a boyfriend problem. That's your future so think about it.
    via u/Effective_Pen_4696
  • Remote-Cellist5927 4h ago Even the most generous friends and family discount does not cover the sister of a boy friend. This is a fire able offence and if he pushes back anymore find someone who isn't trying to get you fired to date.
    via u/Remote-Cellist5927
  • EnterNameOrEmail · 3h ago NTA first of all you are not family. Also as you said it is. not your place so you cannot give it away. Also talk to your bf if he still dont get it stupidity runs in the family
    via u/EnterNameOrEmail
  • TOOnarmy1 · 3h ago • Dump your boyfriend. If he's enough of an idiot to think you had to do ANYTHING with this ridiculous request, he's not good enough to be dating you. He should have had your back. He should have told his sister that she's out of her
    via u/T00narmy1
  • mind and to never harass you again. Instead - he's protecting HER and trying to make you feel bad for NOT jeaprodizing your job and stealing for her? Dump him and leave them both behind.
    via u/T00narmy1
  • Beneficial-Sort4795 3h ago So your bf doesn't respect your job and let his entitled sister treat you like you're responsible for her failure to plan while being cheap? She had NO plan for her bf. None. And then she decided to make that your last minute
    via u/Beneficial-Sort4795
  • problem so she could accuse you of being the reason the (unplanned) party didn't happen. So she's playing smoke and mirrors with her (hopefully smarter than this) bf at your expense. And your bf is willing to risk your job, your professional reputation and your check to cater to this entitled little brat?
    via u/Beneficial-Sort4795
  • wowgamertbc • 3h ago NTA your bf and his sister seem awfully entitled to your hard work. Even if you owned. the restaurant I'd have put down a hard no on this one. If your bf keeps up this attitude supporting his sister asking for this id consider cutting that off to. You didn't ruin her plans, she ruined them thinking she's entitled to that which she is not. Do not risk you job and professional life for this.
    via u/wowgamertbc
  • treehumper83 · 3h ago . NTA but everyone else is, boyfriend and his sister. Tell your bf the compromise is this: you'll book the party and meals and everything if he pays for it all.
    via u/treehumper83
  • Holiday-Most-7129.4h ago I dont understand the mentality behind these posts, if you actually think youre an AH in this situation seek therapy.
    via u/Holiday-Most-7129
  • Your_Daddy_1972 • 3h ago NTA Your bf's entitled sister isn't worth risking what you've worked hard for. As you said you don't own the place and have ZERO obligation to give her anything for free and quite frankly your bf is an ahole for thinking there needs to be any kind of "compromise" when it could mean your job
    via u/Your_Daddy_1972
  • Crickettb 3h ago • Sounds super entitled. You explained the situation, she refuses to listen. If you go with her plan you have to pay for her to get it free. Not acceptable. With your brother tell them this request is out of your wheelhouse since you are an employee not the owner. The only compromise. would be for you to pay part and you are not going to do that. It's her party idea, she pays for it. NTA.
    via u/Crickettb
  • auntlynnie 3h ago . NTA. You're not being stingy, she's being entitled, greedy, and cheap. You have a boyfriend problem. There is no compromise to be had here. Maybe frame it in a way he would understand? If he works in an office, why can't
    via u/auntlynnie
  • he give your sibling a case of paper from his workplace for your sibling's SO? Your sibling's SO needs it for XYZ project, and there's plenty of paper at his job.
    via u/auntlynnie

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