Bride pairs her brother-in-law with a bridesmaid he used to date for years during aisle walk, sparking post-wedding drama when his new girlfriend of 5 months feels disrespected, and ends up blocking the bride

Advertisement
  • 01
    Bridesmaid and groomsman walking down the aisle
  • 02

    AITA for not making my BIL’s girlfriend a bridesmaid and pairing him with his ex?

    So I (26F) got married a month ago to my first boyfriend (25M). We met in college at 19, started dating, and I moved in with him at 23 (still feels surreal to call him my husband →) One of my closest friends (let's call her Jane) dated my husband's older brother (27M, let's call him Joe) for over 2 years.
  • 03
    We introduced them back then, but they broke up over a year ago. It wasn't a messy breakup, Jane told our circle it just wasn't working out.
  • 04
    Joe never really shared his side, so that's all we knew. Anyway, Joe has been dating his current girlfriend (27F, let's call her Kate) for 5 months at the time of our wedding.
  • 05
    I am not super close to her as we only see each other at least once or twice a month.
  • 06
    At my wedding, Jane was one of my bridesmaids and Joe was one of the groomsmen.
  • 07
    Naturally, they were paired to walk down the aisle together. We had 4 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen (plus MOH and best man), and the pairings were just the most practical, 2 bridesmaids walked with their own boyfriends, another paired with a mutual friend, and that left Joe + Jane.
  • 08
    Everything went smoothly... until after our honeymoon. My new SIL told me that Kate had confided in her that she felt left out and "disrespected" that Joe was paired with his ex.
  • 09
    She also said we were "teasing them for looking good together" right in front of her.
  • 10
    For the record, I never said that. The photographer made a comment during the lineup, and people laughed.
  • 11
    Now, GF has blocked me on Instagram, and I'm sitting here wondering if I should have handled things differently.
  • 12
    Woman looking annoyed
  • 13
    AITAH for not making Kate (who I barely knew and had only been dating Joe for 5 months) one of my bridesmaids, and for pairing Joe with Jane, his ex?
  • 14
    invisiblepinkdino girl be so fr. you are the ah... not for having jane in your bridal party but how did you think the new gf would take it??? seriously put yourself in her shoes for a second. it's your wedding ofc but you can still have some basic common decency & empathy lol
  • 15
    Tales-From-The-Cafe OP I get what you're saying, and I do understand why Kaye might have felt uncomfortable. But to explain the pairing, The organizers actually made the initial pairings, and me and my husband just approved them after checking with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. It wasn't about putting them together. And for context, they only walked as a pair at the church, at the reception everyone entered in groups.
  • 16
    dart1126 INFO Naturally, they were paired together Why exactly though? There was another pair of friends, couldn't these four people have been mixed up then? Also did Joe or Jane ever raise any issues or uncomfortableness with this?
  • 17
    Tales-From-The-Cafe OP No. Neither raised any issue about it. We checked in with everyone before approving the pairing
  • 18
    CatF4n4t1c The fact that you had 2 friends who weren't a pair and you could have so easily mix them so that Jane and Joe wouldn't walk together would have been such an easy solution. YTA. You didn't have to make the new GF a bridesmaid, just change the pairing of Joe with the other friend.
  • 19
    Girlfriend angry at her boyfriend after an event
  • 20
    Lady Reika My gods, how can you get to be your age and be this dense. Of course, YTA.
  • 21
    SeventhKevin777 One of the worst uses of the word "naturally" ever
  • 22
    TheWaco Fogey YTA. You introduced the two of them, and pairing them makes it look like you're trying to get them together again. How do you think the new GF would take it? How do you think everyone else at that wedding saw it? If I were her, I'd also block you.
  • 23
    mecegirl YTA Swap the pairings. This isn't rocket science. You are causing unnecessary drama for no good reason. Have some common sense.
  • 24
    20frvrz OF COURSE YTA. You don't pair exes together in a wedding! I'm shocked no one in your bridal party called you out for this, which makes me think your entire friend group is made of mean girls.
  • 25
    Original-Present5250 It's your wedding so it's supposed to be how you want it to be, but honestly I think you're a little bit the AH for not considering how this pairing was going to be taken...by him, his ex, and his new partner. You could have paired him with the friend couple young lady and the guy from that pairing with the ex. That way both could be in the bridal party without any awkwardness.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article