Daughter scolds 69-year-old mom for spending over her Visa limit after she housed her and paid for all her expenses for 6 years: 'I told her I couldn’t help her anymore and that she’d have to figure it out on her own'

You can't teach an old dog new tricks. If someone has been irresponsible their entire life, no amount of help from their family is going to make them get their act together suddenly. It's not true that people never change, but once you observe a specific pattern of behavior over the course of years, you should probably accept that there's a very good chance they will never change their behavior, and plan accordingly. You probably can't afford to pay your delinquent brother's bills indefinitely for the rest of his life, and you should make that clear to him if you've been paying his bills for the past couple of years. Enabling irresponsible people does not ultimately benefit them. It might feel good in the moment to help someone out, but if they become totally reliant on your help that you cannot provide indefinitely, then it becomes a significant problem.

Author image for Emmy Pratt Emmy Pratt
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