'This is supposed to be fun, not a debt collection service': Family birthday tradition gets ruined when the group chat takes "mandatory" $25 donations too seriously

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Oct 8, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Receiving a birthday card is never that exciting unless a $20 bill falls out when you open it. Like clockwork, even adults get a twinge of excitement when they get money for their birthday, because as we all know, that's a far better gift than a scented candle, a subpar coffee maker, or a t-shirt you'll never wear. 

This family knows that cash is always the best birthday gift, but instead of making their gifting a fun surprise every birthday, they'd methodically chase down every distant relative for their birthday contribution, even if that meant harassing the cousins and the aunties in the wee hours of the morning to get their payment. Aren't birthdays supposed to be fun and light-hearted? Once this family gift turned sour, a fun family tradition was totally ruined, all because their cash gift donations became mandatory. 

When a gift no longer comes from the bottom of your heart, the whole concept is utterly spoiled, even if you know it's the gift that comes back around for your birthday season…

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  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY
    via Aflo Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for telling my family our "birthday club" isn't a debt collection service?
    via pinklilylalala
  • So my family has this big "birthday club" group chat, about 25 people. Everyone sends $25 when it's someone's birthday, so the birthday person ends up with about $625.
    via pinklilylalala
  • It started out fun and lighthearted, but lately it's turned into a daunting task. The minute someone's birthday hits, people start hounding the chat like bill collectors: "Who didn't send yet?" "We're waiting on 3 people!" "Y'all know what day it is!" literally before people are even awake.
    via pinklilylalala
  • This morning I finally got tired of it and sent a message saying something like, "Just a reminder this is supposed to be fun and family-oriented, not a debt collection service ♥♥♥." Only two people hearted it.
    via pinklilylalala
  • No one else said anything. Now I'm second guessing myself, wondering if I came off rude or ungrateful.
    via pinklilylalala
  • So... AITA for saying something? PS: The point is not to profit from the birthday club & the question is not asking whether or not you think it's a stupid idea to have one or not.
    via pinklilylalala
  • Cheezburger Image 10561416704
    via Aflo Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I'm just asking about what I said, and if ITA for saying what I said. No no one is trying to profit thousands of dollars or even profit at all.
    via pinklilylalala
  • It's just a nice gesture to receive a large lump sum on your birthday. I understand that some people don't see the point of it but that's also not the point of this question.
    via pinklilylalala
  • Either-Market-... It was a great idea until it turned obligatory and forced.
    via Either-Market
  • Accomplished- NTA. Years ago, I and my husband told our siblings we wouldn't be doing birthday or Christmas gifts with them anymore--we
    via Accomplished-Ho
  • were all adults, and it just felt like we were passing the same $25 back and forth several times a year. For our nieces and nephews, we do bdays and Christmas for the kids until they're 18.
    via Accomplished-Ho
  • (Not only has this been better financially, but it also solved the problem of our being extremely disappointed in the often thoughtless gifts we were getting.)
    via Accomplished-Ho
  • itsfleee . The funniest part about this birthday club is that if you're sending $25 every time one of the 25 people have their birthday then you're spending $625 a
    via itsfleee
  • year, but then you're also getting $625 on your birthday. So it's a net zero for everyone involved. Sounds like a lot of hassle for nothing lol. NTA
    via itsfleee

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