'This is supposed to be fun, not a debt collection service': Family birthday tradition gets ruined when the group chat takes "mandatory" $25 donations too seriously

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  • HAPPY BIRTHDAY
  • AITA for telling my family our "birthday club" isn't a debt collection service?
  • So my family has this big "birthday club" group chat, about 25 people. Everyone sends $25 when it's someone's birthday, so the birthday person ends up with about $625.
  • It started out fun and lighthearted, but lately it's turned into a daunting task. The minute someone's birthday hits, people start hounding the chat like bill collectors: "Who didn't send yet?" "We're waiting on 3 people!" "Y'all know what day it is!" literally before people are even awake.
  • This morning I finally got tired of it and sent a message saying something like, "Just a reminder this is supposed to be fun and family-oriented, not a debt collection service ♥♥♥." Only two people hearted it.
  • No one else said anything. Now I'm second guessing myself, wondering if I came off rude or ungrateful.
  • So... AITA for saying something? PS: The point is not to profit from the birthday club & the question is not asking whether or not you think it's a stupid idea to have one or not.
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  • I'm just asking about what I said, and if ITA for saying what I said. No no one is trying to profit thousands of dollars or even profit at all.
  • It's just a nice gesture to receive a large lump sum on your birthday. I understand that some people don't see the point of it but that's also not the point of this question.
  • Either-Market-... It was a great idea until it turned obligatory and forced.
  • Accomplished- NTA. Years ago, I and my husband told our siblings we wouldn't be doing birthday or Christmas gifts with them anymore--we
  • were all adults, and it just felt like we were passing the same $25 back and forth several times a year. For our nieces and nephews, we do bdays and Christmas for the kids until they're 18.
  • (Not only has this been better financially, but it also solved the problem of our being extremely disappointed in the often thoughtless gifts we were getting.)
  • itsfleee . The funniest part about this birthday club is that if you're sending $25 every time one of the 25 people have their birthday then you're spending $625 a
  • year, but then you're also getting $625 on your birthday. So it's a net zero for everyone involved. Sounds like a lot of hassle for nothing lol. NTA

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