Boss schedules meeting with HR to discuss employee's attitude after they say "no" to increased workload for the first time ever in 2 years: 'So now we have a meeting scheduled with HR to talk about it'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Oct 7, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Pushing back on unreasonable requests turned into an HR meeting for this employee after they told their boss they wouldn't acquiesce to their request.

When it comes to employment, every employer, hiring manager, and AI chatbot CV reviewer would probably agree that being "agreeable" is a great trait for a candidate to have. 

The issue with being agreeable is that people come to expect you to continue to be agreeable. People will eventually treat you like a pushover. And when you finally snap and stand your ground, even if you maintain a level head, the person, say your boss, who has come to expect you to be a doormat, will respond as if they have been scorned and burned.

On the offhand if your boss knows someone is standoffish, they'll know to expect it and probably avoid going to that person unless completely necessary. This person may end up with fewer opportunities, but also will end up doing way less work as your boss learns to follow the path of least resistance.

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  • 01

    'Manager schedules HR meeting after I reject a task for the first time in 2 years'

    UPDATED: I've been a SysAdmin for about 2 years at my current job, and recently got asked to start creating new users in Cerner (a healthcare system we use) - something I've never done, isn't in my job descriptions roles and responsibilities, and is typically handled by an entirely different department (including my manager). I pushed back, as it seemed more appropriate for clinical or health IT roles.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 02
    An employee buries his head in his hands while his boss speaks to him
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This Junior SysAdmin had been quietly taking on extra work and responsibilities for two years without receiving any recognition or extra compensation. They were asked to take on the task of creating new users in the company's administration system. Their boss protested, giving the usual clichéd arguments your boss makes when they want you to do something but know they don't have a leg to stand on: "the last [your role] did it," "we're a team," before running to HR when the worker still wouldn't acquiesce to taking on yet another task. 

    This simple boundary was quickly becoming a conflict. But, as they waited for everything to play out, no meeting appeared, no summons to HR to straighten them out. The whole thing just evaporated as quickly as it appeared, as their boss's apparent bluff was called.

    They were, apparently, no longer the path of least resistance.

  • 03
    When I brought it up to my manager, she told me things like "the last sysadmin did it", followed by "we're a team", and then immediately escalated it to HR. So now we have a meeting scheduled with HR to talk about it.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 04
    Since this started, I've also scheduled a separate HR meeting without my manager to talk about other issues: • No pay increase or recognition despite having taken on more responsibilities over the last two years • A performance review where I . was told "we don't even give out raises" despite knowing a coworker just got one
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 05
    • Discovering through call logs that I've been handling over 55% of our IT calls, more than any other team member, yet my coworkers are doing far less since I've started working here • My manager making me feel guilty for even having access to those logs, when I'm the only one managing the phone system
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 06
    • Just generally feeling devalued . and lied to I'm still technically a Jr. Sysadmin, since the previous Admin left a month after I got here, i just took on everything he was doing
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 07
    This is the first time I've rejected a task here and I'm not sure what to expect in these HR meetings, especially the one with my manager present. I'd appreciate any advice - particularly from folks who've been through similar.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 08
    UPDATE: So the workweek passed, and basically nothing came of this at all? I haven't heard anything about this since my manager said we would have a meeting later that week on Monday. In that time I had asked for a meeting with HR as well, but when scheduling it I said there was no pressure to schedule it, and would prefer to have it after the meeting with my manager. It was a pretty busy
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 09
    week as well, there were multiple large problems that sprung up that required a lot of work from everyone in IT, so it's not like we were avoiding each other. During the week I also was doing some projects that my Director had asked me to do, and he seemed perfectly normal towards me, like he hadn't even heard of the little conflict.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 10
    Thanks to everyone who responded, my plan now (if this meeting ever happens) is to just stick to the points of not being trained, not wanting to violate and HIPAA or other security violations, and after the meeting telling HR after that I don't think the following meeting is necessary being that we covered everything i was thinking about in the meeting with my manager.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 11
    For now I am just doing my normal duties, and applying more seriously to getting another job, I feel like working here has taken a pretty heavy toll on my mood and QOL, and so I'm hoping things calm down until I can GTFO of here.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 12
    A manager and her worker discuss something at her desk
    via ageing_better

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    Snurgisdr Lean into the part where you suggested it would be more appropriate for the task to be done by people who have been trained and have done it before.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 14
    I'm not a Cerner user myself but I'm close enough to know it's a disaster to work with, and there are very serious potential legal issues around access to that data.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 15
    You're not refusing to do something you're supposed to do, you're the technical expert advising your idiot boss how not to shot himself and your organization in the foot.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 16
    PufferfishLove HR is not there to help you, so tread lightly. Frame everything around how it helps or hurts the company you work for. Good luck!
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 17
    Specific Moment5242 If I were you, I'd quietly get my CV together and see what else is out there that may be less toxic. And a simple, yet effective piece of advice. Don't EVER bad mouth your current employer. Say that you're unhappy and leave it at that. Then, while I almost NEVER advocate lying, when they ask you your current wage, add 7 dollars, and then tell them that you're willing to make a lateral move. Best wishes.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 18
    GBR012345 Play the card of discussing your current work load. You are already too busy to take on this work. If they try to steamroll you into saying it's expected, then counter with saying more responsibilities should follow
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 19
    with more money. Anything healthcare related makes PLENTY of money. Like said you can mention HIPAA violations and compliance violations and that ought to get their attention.
    via Cloud_Heir
  • 20
    Sorry_Monito sounds like a tough spot. make sure to document everything, stay calm during the meetings. mention your concerns clearly. remember, you're advocating for yourself. be clear on your role and responsibilities. maybe consider looking elsewhere if things don't improve. good luck.
    via Cloud_Heir

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