Woman pushes mid-30s sister to break up with "non-committal" boyfriend to find husband: 'She knows it’s delaying... a longer-term goal'

Two women stand and put one arm around each other while looking into a valleyThis woman is pleading with her sister to make big life changes now… before it's too late. 

Wanting to change your life is the easy part. It's everything that comes after that is so difficult to navigate! Let's face it, almost no one has such a picture-perfect life that they'd change nothing about it. Some folks want to make small changes, like getting a new computer or going to the gym twice a week instead of just once. Other people want to make life-altering changes, like having a baby or getting married or paying off a ton of debt. All of these things take discipline to achieve, and many of them require some level of discomfort. And that's what makes it so hard to actually get what you want: you're gonna have to work for it. 

It's also super easy to point out to other people how they could change their lives (life coaches make big bucks for doing exactly this). If you have a sister whom you're close with, she'll do it for free! 

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Author image for Remy Millisky Remy Millisky
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  • This woman is frustrated for her sister. The sister really wants kids and a husband, but her current BF is not feeling that. Instead of preparing to have kids by saving up money or buying a bigger home, they're off doing fun trips. That doesn't exactly mean that this woman will have kids in a few years, though, and her sister is frustrated for her as her biological clock ticks down. 

  • i am angry at my sister for continuing to date a non-committal guy who doesn't want kids when she's in her mid thirties and claims to desperately want a husband and babies. she
    via @Romy_Holland
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  • has convinced herself that the fun things they're doing together like going on a van trip. and learning to scuba dive are important goals of hers and she keeps
    via @Romy_Holland
  • saying she's proud of herself for finally doing these things even though she knows it's delaying fulfilling a longer term goal.
    via @Romy_Holland
  • it's driving me completely insane, and she knows this, and i have run out of ways to tell her that in 5 years she's not gonna care at all about the van trip with a random ex
    via @Romy_Holland
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  • boyfriend, but she's gonna be devastated when she ages out of having kids before having as many as she wants or maybe even having any at all.
    via @Romy_Holland
  • i know her therapist is reinforcing her thinking, and there's something infuriating about therapy culture that tells people making dumb decisions that everything they're doing is *valid*. i wish for
    via @Romy_Holland
  • more of a culture of reality checks. her therapist would be helping her achieve happiness 3 years down the line much more effectively by being like "stop lying to yourself,
    via @Romy_Holland
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  • these goals are shallow and you're being dumb."
    via @Romy_Holland

  • Commenters also thought that this woman needed to make some big life choices sooner rather than later. Otherwise, she might look around at age 35 or 40 and realize that she can't have kids of her own anymore and start to panic. Of course, there are other options, like adoption, but those can be pricey. Plus, if her current BF doesn't even want kids, she's going to then have to start all over and begin the search for a man who does want kids, and build a whole relationship from there. I wish her all the best, and hope that her sister continues to support her, no matter what she ends up deciding to do in her life. 

  • Mas... @webdev... At some point there's a realization that if things are going to happen at all you're going to have to make them happen with the people and tools that are actually available to the version of you that exists today, and I think that is just too much for a lot of people
    via @webdevMason
  • Woman in blue sweater and white jeans looks out window while leaning arm on shoulder of woman in pink shirt and ripped jeans
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • Romy @Romy_Holland i wish she'd realize that this version of her is actually best positioned to land a husband and her odds go down dramatically each year from here. i wish frank discussions about age and smv weren't so socially taboo for most ppl.
    via @Romy_Holland
  • Mason @webdevMason Yeah, sadly the vice tightens a bit more each year, and then suddenly it's going very quickly and there's no real path for things to unfold in the beautiful, lazy ways you imagined. You either let go of that and find Mr. Aligned And Good Enough, or you try not to think about it
    via @webdevMason
  • Derek Whittom @whittomd I tell people this all the time. People will not listen. They think they have so much more optionality than they do.
    via @whittomd
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  • Two women stand and put one arm around each other while looking into a valley
    via Roberto Nickson on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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