'He loved video games more than her': 20-year-old tells her 40-year-old coworker that his divorce was his fault because he never said anything positive about his wife

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Oct 14, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Nobody in their 40s should be relying on a 20-year-old to counsel them in their failed relationships.

We've all had those coworkers who love to tell us about their personal lives. On one hand, there's nothing inherently nefarious about telling your coworker what you did this weekend or a funny story that happened to you outside of the workplace. If you're going to spend around 40 hours a week with these people, it's valuable to get to know them as individuals rather than just the normie blank-slate coworkers you would see in coworker memes. 

While getting to know your coworkers is all well and good, there's always somebody who takes it too far. They think it's appropriate to tell you all of the happenings of their romantic relationships, and that can get old really quickly. They will tell you the same stories over and over again, to the point where it's pretty apparent why they are having relationship problems, but you can't tell them that because it might make the work environment hostile. At the same time, they were the ones who made the work environment uncomfortable in the first place.

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  • The young woman in this story got fed up with hearing the same old thing about her 40-year-old coworker and his wife. He was constantly complaining about her to a woman half his age. When his coworker directly told him why his relationship failed, he became incredibly indignant about her choice of words.

  • Am I wrong for telling my coworker I'm not surprised his wife divorced him?

    I (20f) was recently told by my coworker (40m) that he and his wife (37f) were getting divorced
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • for context they had just gotten married last year after dating his wife for 10 years. I've worked at this job since i was 16 and this coworker has become my closest work friend so i was first to know of the engagement and now of the divorce.
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • we bonded over our shared love of videogames (this is relevant i swear). we both played a lot of games and would talk about the ones we love the most. in the time I've know him he's loved final fantasy 14, which is an online game you play with other people.
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • he talked about this game and the people he would hang out with in the game constantly, talking about the hours he spends playing it every day.
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • shortly after he and his wife had gotten married he started complaining about her and her neediness. when i asked about it he would say she wanted him to spend time with her instead of playing video games. i had told
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • A man sitting on a couch holding a remote control
    via Brock Wegner (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • him at the time that he should be making time for his wife but he ignored me. over the next year he was constantly complaining about her and her "neediness" and i would suggest taking some time off of his game to hangout with her but my idea was always shutdown. eventually i got fed up
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • with him and asked him to stop bringing it up with me and he did for about 2 months. that's when he told me about her asking for a divorce. I casually mentioned that i wasn't surprised that she was divorcing him seeing as he loved final fantasy more than her. i
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • didn't really think before i spoke and just said what i had been thinking every time he brought up his relationship problems. he was shocked at my response and seemed taken aback. i continued saying all you ever talk about are videogames and every thing you ever told me about your wife was negative.
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • he got very upset with me and complained about it too our other coworkers and our boss. we work in a kitchen with only about 10 staff members so it wasn't too long before everybody knew about what i said. our boss stayed out of it, not seeing my comment as bad enough to warrant any kind of action. Some of my
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • Two chefs in a commercial kitchen preparing food
    via Ahmed (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • coworker took my side wile the older ones took his. it has divided the kitchen staff and has made it uncomfortable to work with some of my coworkers who think I'm in the wrong. So, AITAH for saying i wasn't surprised about my coworkers divorce?
    via u/Unique-Macaroon4749
  • Tofulish8889 NTA - why is a 40 year old dropping all his relationship drama on a 20 year old? Was he hoping to get with you if he complained enough? And he's been your closest friend at work since you were 16? That's just all kinds of ick
    via u/Tofulish8889
  • He is 40 years old and acting like a petulant child and going to tell on you because he didn't like what you said. I'd limit all my interactions with him because he doesn't take your advice and then narcs on you.
    via u/Tofulish8889
  • You told the truth - he was a shitty husband and his wife left because she deserves better than someone who doesn't meet her needs and complains about her. Sounds like they dated for 10 years and she hoped marriage would cure him and make him a decent partner and it didn't. OMG how is this man 40 years old?
    via u/Tofulish8889
  • Bellbete I agree, but would also like to add that it's not necessarily weird if your work bestie is considerably older than you. I mean, this guy is an obvious creep. But the age gap isn't necessarily an offense in itself when it comes to proper friendships.
    via u/Bellbete
  • theserthefables yeah it's the complaining about his wife to OP that's the red flag not him being 40. although that part does make him extra gross since he was most likely very close to hitting on her before this.
    via u/theserthefables
  • ReadMeDrMemory NTA. You nailed it. The only mystery is why, after 10 years dating, she didn't realize his first love was FFXIV. Isn't the point of dating to learn things like that?
    via u/ReadMeDrMemory
  • TheLordJiminyCricket She did. Too often people believe someone will change once married. I dont know where this came from or why people think this way, but it is so common that being married is the secret to all their problems.
    via u/TheLordJiminyCricket
  • ReadMeDrMemory I hear you. It's a common delusion for sure. And sadly, when they discover that doesn't work, they're likely to decide the solution is to have kids...
    via u/ReadMeDrMemory
  • exaltedfemshep NTA. If you don't want to hear u solicited opinions, don't keep telling ppl your life story unsolicited.
    via u/exaltedfemshep
  • Professional-Tie3968 Just because it hurts his feelings doesn't make it untrue. Truth hurts You didn't say it with intention to hurt him I hope, maybe just explaining? Maybe apologize for the bluntness of it, but truth is what it is. If he didn't want his relationship business out there, he should've stopped bringing it up. To be fair, you already asked him to stop talking about it. NTA
    via u/Professional-Tie3968
  • Ruebee90 NTA! The fact he can't take any feedback is also a reason why he is probably getting divorced.
    via u/Ruebee90
  • Time-Outcome8599 NTA from his reaction he clearly just wanted a pity party and a fake reaction to why he's getting a divorce. You have warned him before even given him sound advice. It is a little weird you are his closest friend. The age difference is pretty significant and you are/should be at different stages of life. Be careful around this guy.
    via u/Time-Outcome8599
  • Woman wearing brown apron
    via Steven Cleghorn

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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