19-year-old backs out of Amsterdam Comic Con trip after her friend Anna sets a harsh payment time frame: ‘I refunded my ticket and told her to have fun. I thought that was the end of it, but she started talking behind my back and sending screenshots’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Oct 17, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Nothing shut down the vibe and excitement ahead of a fun trip faster than someone turning it into a financial ultimatum. What starts as a friendly Comic Con plan morphs into a power struggle with deadlines, accusations, and parental involvement that feels more like a small-claims dispute than a vacation. The group chat meant for memes and inside jokes turns into a courtroom where everyone's receipts, gaming habits, and emotional stability are on trial. By the time apologies are demanded and rescinded, it becomes less about travel and more about damage control.

Groups have a special way of breaking down the minute money or accountability get involved. Someone always takes the role of leader, someone else gets scapegoated, and suddenly the friendship runs like a bad business. Adding parents into the mix guarantees disaster. You learn fast that adults can still behave like middle schoolers, especially when powered by Discord drama and impulsive overreactions. Online friendships thrive on shared humor and easy escape routes, but once real-world logistics enter the chat, everything unravels. Payment deadlines replace loyalty, mood swings replace communication, and everyone acts like their phone screen is a courtroom bench.

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  • AITJ for not going on the trip after my friend's parents gave me a payment deadline?

    a worried looking young woman sitting on stairs with her laptop on her lap looking at the screen
    via New Africa

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • So I (19F) have been friends with Anna (19F) and her boyfriend Luke (20M) for a while.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • We're part of a small online friend group with Mason (20M) and Bud (20M). We all met through gaming and usually hung out in Discord calls.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • In September, Anna and Luke invited me and Mason to Comic Con in Amsterdam. Mason later couldn't go.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • I told them I might not afford everything on short notice, but they said they'd cover most of it as an early birthday present (my birthday's a month later).
    via No-Guidance2970
  • I said I'd help with groceries, ubers and ofc my side of the airbnb. A couple weeks before the trip, Anna sent me a long message accusing me of spending money instead of saving and sending it to her boyfriends luke.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • a worried looking young woman lookinga at a computer screen
    via ThirtyPlus

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She'd seen me using in-game credits on Overwatch and DBD credits I already had and thought I was wasting money.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • I explained I hadn't spent anything extra besides food and appointments, and reminded her I was putting £100 toward the Airbnb.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • She claimed she didn't remember that, then told me she'd talked to her parents and they all said if I didn't pay before Oct 3rd, could "fuck off" and not go.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • That made me super uncomfortable. Her family doesn't even know me, so why were they deciding
    via No-Guidance2970
  • I told her I didn't feel comfortable going anymore. She got mad, said it was "bullshit," so I refunded my ticket and told her to have fun.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • a large crowd wering costumes at a convetion
    via Connor Gan

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I thought that was the end of it, but she started talking behind my back and sending screenshots around.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • Later, me and Bud decided to clear out our shared Discord server (Anna hadn't done much with it anyway).
    via No-Guidance2970
  • After that, Anna found me on TikTok saying 10- 15 people got "hacked" because of Bud's bot.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • She said she "handled it" and told me to apologize. I doubted it but wrote an apology and asked her to send it since I didn't have those people added.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • The next day Bud told me it was impossible for his bot to hack anyone. When I confronted Anna, she changed her story said no one was hacked, but Luke got a message about someone trying to log into his Instagram (which makes no sense).
    via No-Guidance2970
  • Then I found out she never sent my apology message at all. I told her her behavior was toxic and that blaming her BPD and autism for everything wasn't okay.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • She exploded, called me a bitch and a ton of other names before I left the chat.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • Then she told Mason she had never called me that (even though she clearly did). Now she's telling people I "turned everyone against her." Some think I overreacted for deleting the server or cutting her off, but I honestly just felt drained and done with the drama.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • so AITJ for not going on a trip after my friend's parents gave me a payment deadline?
    via No-Guidance2970
  • WildBlue2525Potato She is not a friend in any sense of the word. Thankfully, OP found out prior to having a miserable trip. OP needs to save screenshots and the like in several places in case she needs "ammunition." Then she needs to block and ghost Ms. Toxicity.
    via WildBlue2525Potato
  • OP No-Guidance2970 I have the whole convo haha!
    via No-Guidance2970
  • Whale FartingFun Oooohhh. You said BPD. She isn't right in being an asshole, but unless she is in super therapy, this likely wont change. I have been there and sometimes you gotta let go.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • OP No-Guidance2970 she was offered help for her bpd but declined it since she travels to see her boyfriend like 90 times a year and they couldnt really allow that if she was gonna get help
    via No-Guidance2970
  • scamisnotart NTJ. Hopefully your life will have less drama in it now that you removed her from it.
    via scamisnotart
  • OP No-Guidance2970 yeah i dont have any drama atm!.
    via No-Guidance2970
  • Fun_Skirt8220 Are you sure her parents said that? Sounds more like she wanted to say things but didn't want them to come from her so she had her parents "say" that or fuck off. Ntj, so much better of without her
    via Fun_Skirt8220
  • OP No-Guidance2970 who knows at this point just happy shes out of my life
    via No-Guidance2970
  • YAreYouLaughing NTJ. Never mind the payment deadline, why would you want to go anywhere with this person. If you haven't already completely extricate yourself from this 'friendship'.
    via YAreYouLaughing
  • OP No-Guidance2970 not friends with her anymore thank god
    via No-Guidance2970
  • serioussparkles Always, always get things in writing. Because if you do not the other party will claim they didn't say they'd pay for such and such, and then try to sue you. This case is past and you didn't go, so just ignore and block this crazy manic lady, and cover your rear for the next time money is involved.
    via serioussparkles
  • OP No-Guidance2970 shes blocked! but shes still running her mouth Imao
    via No-Guidance2970
  • Wabbit-127 NTJ. I would have stayed far away.
    via Wabbit-127
  • OP No-Guidance2970 oh i did!
    via No-Guidance2970
  • big_bob_c NTJ. Have you ever met her IRL?
    via big_bob_c
  • OP No-Guidance2970 No. This was gonna be our first meet
    via No-Guidance2970
  • mochi7227 How much is Anna asking for by Oct 3?
    via mochi7227
  • OP No-Guidance2970 Well she was asking me to pay €100 and I told her I'd probably have the money on October 1st or 3rd so I could 100% have payed since we're were supposed to leave on the 9th of October. But when she put the deadline on the whole thing it just made me uncomfortable since I told her I wasn't sure when I'd get the money but I think it would be on the 1st or the 3rd. I could also have payed the month after since they used klarna (an app that helps with payments) they payed the firs
    via No-Guidance2970
  • FuriousMarshmallow NTJ. She's a perpetual victim and a terrible friend.
    via FuriousMarshmallow

  • It’s a modern recipe for burnout. What started as a trip among friends ends up being a reminder that bringing internet camaraderie into real life isn’t always worth the ticket price. Some friendships belong right where they started, muted, online, and miles away from your calendar.

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