'He totally lacks any response to affection': After adopting a ex-working pup, this pawrent learns her shepherd’s love doesn't look the way she expected

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Oct 22, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

A playful two-year-old black German Shepherd has turned out to be all business when it comes to playtime and all paws-off when it comes to cuddles. Despite being trained from puppyhood to be a working dog, this pup's heart clearly belongs to fetch and fun rather than snuggles and scratches. His human, who grew up with a velcro-style golden retriever, can't help but notice the contrast. While he now tolerates the occasional head or tummy rub, he'd still rather chase a stick than sit for affection.

Some dogs just show love differently, and this one seems to speak the language of playtime fluently. Where a golden retriever melts into a cuddle puddle, a German Shepherd often bonds through activity and purpose. His idea of affection might be sprinting beside his person or proudly dropping a slobbery toy at their feet.

With time, trust, and a few extra fetch sessions, even the most stoic Shepherd tends to soften. For now, his tail wags and happy energy say it all. His version of "I love you" just comes with a tennis ball.

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  • 01
    'I love him to bits and he's been a perfect companion'
    via Sharon Snider from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Hi All, my beautiful boy is a 2yld Black German Shepard that was trained from a pup to 6 months old to be a drug dog. Unfortunately (for them!) he was too playful to continue training. I
    via Outrageous-Berry-554
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    love him to bits and he's been a perfect companion to go on runs, play at the park, and general exercise but my (admittedly very small) issue is that he totally lacks any response to affection.
    via Outrageous-Berry-554
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    When I first adopted him he'd actively pull away from any pats, cuddles or tummy rubs, and looked rather sad if you asked him to sit for a pat. Now that he's a bit older he tolerates a head or tummy scratch but clearly would
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    Dog getting its belly rubbed
    via Valeriia Boiko / Canva

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    much rather be running after a stick or playing in some way. He won't come up to me, or anyone else, for a pat but will happily grab a toy and beg you to throw it at first opportunity.
    via Outrageous-Berry-554
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    Dog playing fetch
    via przemyslawiciak / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    I grew up with a super cuddly golden retriever who, if given the choice, would've spent his whole life in your arms! I understand Shepards can be very different but my assumption is that he got no affection/was disciplined for seeking affection as a pup and that's why he doesn't like a pat?
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    Interested to hear other's opinions on the subject. Thanks
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    Exotic_Caterpillar... Dogs have different affection and bonding preferences, just like humans. My first dog (a cocker spaniel, generally considered a very affectionate breed) had no interest in cuddling, stroking, or belly rubs. She
    via Exotic_Caterpillar62
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    did really enjoy very deep scratches with your fingernails on her butt and chest, but didn't enjoy being touched on her head and back. I followed her cues and did what made her comfortable, and in
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    moments when she seemed comfortable with scratches, I frequently did consent checks. Some dogs love to bond through play or training.
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    I would guess that fewer dogs are affectionate than people think, but because people don't know how to read their body language. they just push past the dog's boundaries. People read licking as affection, when it can often be stress or appeasement. They don't recognize that not all tail wagging is happiness.
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  • Just like humans, dogs have their own love languages too! Some crave cuddles, others prefer playtime or shared adventures. It’s all affection. Just expressed with paws, wagging tails, and personality.

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    nutznboltsguy I bonded with the GSD puppy that my former boss adopted. She was insanely playful. All dogs are a little different, but because you adopted a former working dog you might need to adjust your expectations. You might also see if you find a trainer who
    via nutznboltsguy
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    specializes in behavioral issues and see if they can offer some insights. For now try positive reinforcement through praise and treats. when he does something you want. Good luck. Have you seen the movie Dog?
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    Aromatic-Log2779 sounds like he just shows affection through play rather than cuddles. Some working breeds are wired that way - they bond through activity and shared tasks rather than physical affection. He's lucky to have such an understanding owner who appreciates his unique personality!
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    ConflictNo5518 I've walked & boarded a bunch and the working line one was not only independent, she disliked physical affection. The rest of them were normal shepherds who were affectionate to varying degrees.
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  • Working doggos often show affection in their own way! Instead of cuddles, it’s loyalty, focus, and wanting to play or help. Their love language is teamwork, not necessarily tummy rubs.

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    liesdontfly Give it time. I rescued a Brittany that are known for being velcro, now almost two years he's finally scooting up a bit more on the bed from my feet towards me. Like others said, his training definitely
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    impacted the way he is, call it "Wasn't a puppy too long". And in my experience, lower your expectations for higher. rewards.
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  • With his working-dog background, he might just not be the cuddly type. That early training is part of who he is. Focused, playful, and built for action over snuggles.

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    jeskimo I've had my gsd girl from 8weeks, she's 5 now. She's about the same as your boy. I showered her with cuddles and love from day one. She knows I love her, I know she loves me. We're attached at the hip, except usually at a small distance. She'll cuddle
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    on occasion, she's always near me, always watching me. It is weird when you're used to affectionate dogs. They just show their love in a different way.
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    Working dogs are always working even when doing nothing, it's how their brains work. My girl being a gsd, is always alert and "on". She's busy, she doesn't have time to be distracted by cuddles. Some gsd's are cuddly and more affectionate but most of my gsd's (4) have been the same cuddle wise. My
    via jeskimo
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    other girl I had was a cuddler, she was slightly mixed though. With her she died at 9months, so I don't know what she would have been like later on. One of my boys didn't cuddle but he always had to be on top of me or touching me. My other boy was always working, guarding and patrolling. He barely cuddled.
    via jeskimo

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behavior dogs german shepherd doggo advice pawrents love fetch
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