Mother refuses to take accountability for her part in ruining Christmas Day lunch, her children refuse to host holidays moving forward: ‘My mom… accused me of taking sides’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Nov 1, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

With family, holidays are always unpredictable.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are those days of the year when family and friends put aside their differences and misgivings to come together and make the respective holidays a positive day to remember. If you're lucky enough to have been born into a respectful, empathetic family, you probably luck out with some of the best holiday memories each year. For those of you with dysfunctional familial relationships… Are you ready to step into the ring this holiday season?

The children of two parents in the story below refuse to host the holiday festivities at their apartments this year because of a parental argument that left Christmas Day in ruins the previous year. Though this might seem a bit Grinch-like, the children have a sturdy leg to stand on. A miscommunication between their parents about no gift-giving that year left their mother upset because she had filled the father's stocking, but he had not filled hers. The father spent the morning stuffing her stocking to make it up to her, but she continued to make impolite comments at Christmas Day lunch hosted by her son. The father flips out and leaves, and the mother and the narrator soon follow suit. To this day, their mom refuses to take accountability for her part in this, and the children refuse to host for fear they'll pull something like this again. Scroll below to read the entire story.

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  • 01
    a family standing around a kitchen table on christmas day
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITA for telling my mom she is also to blame for why my brother and I won't host our parents for the holidays?"

    Last Christmas was my brother's first holiday not living at home with our parents. He wanted to host everyone in his new apartment.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 03
    Also around this time last year, my parents had mutually agreed not to get each other gifts as they were focusing on paying off some debt.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 04
    Apparently, there was some miscommunication. My dad thought this meant no gifts at all. My mom thought this meant no gifts, but they'd still exchange stockings.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 05
    In our family, stockings are always small stuff: body care,, candy, you get the picture.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 06
    I was living with my parents last year and I had heard all the discussions. I honestly saw both sides when on Christmas morning, we all woke up and mom didn't have her stocking filled from dad.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 07
    She was very quiet but clearly hurt. He ran out to the pharmacy quickly bought some things to fill her stocking, saying he was sorry.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 08
    Now, should my dad have communicated better? Sure. Do I understand my mom's hurt by the situation?
    via nomorexmas2
  • 09
    Also sure. But I thought they'd be able to swallow it all for lunch at my brother's.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 10
    We go and my dad is doing his best to make up for his blunder. My mom is in a terrible mood and keeps picking at him all day long.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 11
    Toward the end of our time there, she ended up making a snarky remark about my dad not filling her stocking.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 12
    red and white christmas stockings hanging on the mantle fireplace
    via Donna Spearman (Unsplash)
  • 13
    My dad flipped his shit and started screaming that nothing he does is enough, then stormed out.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 14
    My brother was+ clearly upset by having Christmas ruined by their arguing. I convinced my mom we should leave not long after.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 15
    My brother and I were upset with both of them. My dad shouldn't have flipped out and screamed.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 16
    My mom also should've kept her comments to herself or spoken to my dad later. My brother was embarrassed as his roommate had come home and while he was in his room, he overheard the arguing.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 17
    My brother stopped having my parents over all together after that, though he'd still invite me.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 18
    My brother would also visit us at my parents' place. Thanksgiving is fast approaching and we were all trying to coordinate plans.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 19
    I recently got my own place but honestly don't want to host after last year. My brother said he's never hosting another holiday at his apartment again.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 20
    My mom was hurt by this, but eventually we all just planned to have dinner at my parents' place.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 21
    Later on, my mom was complaining to me that my brother won't have us over anymore, feeling pushed out.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 22
    She said it was my dad's fault, and she shouldn't be punished. I told her while my dad was wrong for screaming, she chose to be whiny all day long.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 23
    I clarified that I understood her hurt, but she also partially ruined the day by not letting it go,.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 24
    My mom got mad at me and accused me of taking sides. I said I'm not.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 25
    If Dad b ched, I'd tell him the same, but he seems to understand that he ruined it.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 26
    I also pointed out that neither of them ever apologized to my brother and I'm not confident they'd never do it again.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 27
    My mom says I'm in the wrong for how I spoke to her. Am I the ass here?
    via nomorexmas2
  • 28
    Edit: Because of course everyone's favorite game is "Let's play Devil's Advocate!!!" This is not my parents' first time having an argument like this.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 29
    In the past, it hasn't been about Christmas, but it's been about other stuff. They hate each other but stay married due to not being able to afford to divorce and live separately.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 30
    They hate each other. Their screaming matches are constant and they have ruined other family events.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 31
    We've suggested therapy and they won't go. They want to stay trapped and miserable. Yet, when my brother and I bickeered about stupid stuff as kids, they'd scream at us for "ruining thier peace".
    via nomorexmas2
  • 32
    We're at the point where they don't get to do this without consequences. This is the consequence.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 33
    For those saying I shouldn't blame my dad as much as I do in this post, the main reason I hold him at 50% is because he started screaming.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 34
    If he had just remained quiet and spoke to my mom later, then he wouldn't be held to the same degree.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 35
    Because he screamed and refused to take accountability for his tantrum, he goes up here too.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 36
    But I agree, without that, my mom is more at fault. Thank you to those who actually listened and paid attention.
    via nomorexmas2
  • 37
    Even if I didn't agree with what you said, you didn't try to play stupid Devil's Advocate and make the story into something it wasn't.
    via nomorexmas2

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christmas family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement thanksgiving relationship-drama reddit story family feud parenting entitled family reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail holidays parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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