'If you don't like your family... why are you living next door?': Dog owner refuses to see relatives who drove 10 hours for family visit to avoid "boring small talk"

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Oct 29, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Last minute plans don't work out for everybody — some people have super busy lives, and they're going to need a few day's heads up before seeing someone. 

Other people thrive on last-minute plans. They're happy to drop what they're doing and go hang out somewhere. Still, it's nice to have some warning so you can organize your schedule. This person is a bit irritated that their family members keep springing surprise visits on them, and it seems like the guilt is eating at them. They live right next door to their parents, so right away, that might be an issue in the long term. They then share that at the end of a long work day, they just want to hang out with their dogs, not talk to some long-lost aunt and uncle who have driven into town to see their parents. 

However, some commenters chided them for the ways they've been avoiding their family members. They're lying about it, but then they're also taking their dog outside to play in the yard, so these far-away relatives might get hurt feelings after knowing this person is lying. 

I don't think they're wrong for wanting some space, but maybe there's room for compromise. It couldn't hurt to say something like, "Oh, I only have 5 minutes before I have to take an important phone call, but it's nice to see you, Aunt and Uncle." That kind of white lie works for both parties! This person can say hello, then head off to do their own thing. They're also telling their parents that if they'd had more notice, they could've stayed longer, but oh well! Regardless of what they choose to do, it's their life, and they only have one lifetime to spend doing things they love. Whether they're spending time with family or with their dogs, they should do what will make for the best memories and the most happiness possible. Just because someone is family, doesn't make them obligated to have a ton of your time: some distant relatives can just stay distant. 

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    Man holds child on lap while passing food to woman in yellow, also at table are old man, old woman, and another child with braided hair, on table is large assortment of foods
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I live next door to my retired parents at the moment, and several times now, my aunt and uncle have stopped at my parents house during a long road trip to visit their
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    chidlren. Every time, they have stayed the night since they have to drive over 10 hours. I know these are not just surprise visits, they are
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    obviously giving my parents notice, because my mom will have big meals prepared before they get there (my parents usually just eat small cheap meals)
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    Yet, I will get home after an 8 hour work day, and get a text saying "Your aunt and uncle will be here tonight, you should come eat dinner with us and visit"
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    Now, even if I was a single guy who just came home and played video games, this would still be irritating, but I feel like it's even worse since my gf lives with me, and we
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    have multiple pets. So it's not only MY time that my parents aren't respecting, it's also my gf's time (and really our dog's too, since they are energetic and need a lot of attention).
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    This has happened with other relatives too that don't live as far away. Sometimes I've gotten a text literally saying "X is on their way here, they would like to see you".
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    To make all of this worse, I don't have anything in common with most of my relatives. So every time I have gone to visit, it's just extremely boring small talk about my
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    job and what they think I should do with my future. Anyway, the last few times it's happened, I've decided to just say FK it, and respond with "I have
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    plans, sorry". I feel a bit guilty, I guess that's why I'm posting this. I usually don't have plans and I'm right next door.
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    Sometimes the relatives will be leaving and see my outside with my dogs
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    500mHeadShot Go, show face, start yawning/stretching/pass out, then just say you're calling it for the day and peace out
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    OkeyDokey654 You do have plans - you plan your take care of your dogs. If you actually wanted to see these relatives, you might add "I wish I'd
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    known sooner. If you can tell me they're coming ahead of time, I can make sure to be there." But it sounds like you don't consider this a loss.
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    dalidagrecco I'm ready for downvotes, but I've got more questions than support. It would be a lot easier to fake being busy and bail if you aren't in the yard with your dogs. If you don't like your family and your parents aren't respecting your time, why do you live next door?
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    Maybe your parents are waiting so long to tell you in the hope that you'll be busy. Sounds like you aren't interested in the relatives and that's probably evident, so it may be uncomfortable for all. Would you feel fine if they stopped inviting you at all and you see these dinners going on without you? Then tell your parents you don't want to be invited over at all when extended family is there. Just questions, no judging
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    Wooden-Evidence-374 OP If you don't like your family and your parents aren't respecting your time, why do you live next door? It's not that I don't like them, it's just not very enjoyable to visit. It would be different if there were more people there to carry the conversation, but since I'm in my 20's, and they are all approaching 60 and retired, I'm the center of attention. But the last thing I want to do after getting off work and being invited last minute is talk about my job.
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    I live next door because my parents own the house, and paying them a small rent is the most financially responsible decision for my gf and I at the moment. Maybe your parents are waiting so long to tell you in the hope that you'll be busy. Sounds like you aren't interested in the relatives and that's probably evident, so it may be uncomfortable for all.
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    Knowing my parents, this is just highly unlikely. If they expected me to be busy they would just not bother me. And when I do go, Im not rude, I indulge them. The problem is exactly that though. They give me late notice because they DONT expect me to be busy. Since I live next door they just figure, if I'm not busy, I will just come down even with a last minute notice. The whole issue could be fixed if they just gave me more notice. Would you feel fine if they stopped inviting you at all and you
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    This misses the point. If they don't get a notice from my aunt and uncle, and they don't invite me because they know I need a notice, then yes, that would be fine with me. But the situation here is that they DO get an advanced notice from my aunt and uncle (enough time for my mom to go to the store, prepare meals, and prepare a place for them to sleep), yet I don't get invited until moments before. So yeah, if they aren't going to give me the same advanced notice that they get, I would rather th
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    Cheezburger Image 10569182976
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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