'PTO is not permission to vanish': Boss bothers employee with constant non-urgent messages during his vacation, employee forwards messages to HR

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Nov 1, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Isn't the whole point of taking time off the prospect of not being contacted by your work colleagues?

Apparently, this employee's boss did not fully grasp the concept of vacation time when it came to the people who worked for him. Of course, when he took his own time off, no one bothered him at all. In fact, they rescheduled important meetings with clients to ensure that their boss was given the rest he deserved. The same could not be said in reverse.

This author requested his days off months in advance and frequently reminded his boss that the week was coming up as they were approaching the date. His boss seemingly understood that the author would be off the grid; that is, of course, up until the day actually arrived. 

On day one of the author's PTO, he was contacted incessantly by his boss with questions that he considered to be important, but in reality, they were far from urgent. Nevertheless, he persisted, and the employee responded to try to get his boss off his back. However, the real trouble began when the author returned to work.

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  • A businessman with gray hair wearing a black turtleneck stands by the window in an otherwise empty office.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Talk about an incompetent group of human resources employees. They told the author and his boss to figure out a proper solution on their own, which prompted the author to stand up for himself, knowing that he had some leverage. In fact, he had all of the messages his boss sent him during vacation saved, proving that he wasn't given the space that he deserved. 

    Based on this evidence, there should be no universe in which the author is not given an apology and granted some of that time back. Unfortunately, however, we know all too well at this point that HR is never going to protect the interested of their employees.

  • "[Would I be wrong] if I forward my boss’s PTO texts to HR after he tried to dock my pay for not answering while on vacation?"

    I booked five days PTO months ago, 10 to 14. Flights paid in March, 412 dollars round trip, non refundable. I put it on the shared calendar, sent the formal request
    via jaydenclouds13
  • in our HR tool, got the green check. I also handed over a one page handoff with passwords in the vault, who owns what tickets,
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  • all that. I told my boss twice that I would be off grid after 2 pm on the 9th because I was flying to see my dad. He said, cool, enjoy.
    via jaydenclouds13
  • Day one of PTO, 7 32 am, he texts, can you jump on a quick call. Then pings in Teams. Then emails my personal, subject line urgent. It was about a
    via jaydenclouds13
  • spreadsheet that literally has a tab named readme with step by step. I ignored it, because PTO. At 10 11 am he wrote, if you do not respond I will mark today as unapproved absence. I replied
    via jaydenclouds13
  • once at 10 20 with a short sentence, I am on approved PTO, see calendar and handoff, Jane is the point of contact. He reacted with a thumbs up, then kept
    via jaydenclouds13
  • texting. Day two he called me three times during my dad's appointment and when I silenced the phone he started slacking my junior, dragging her in.
    via jaydenclouds13
  • When I came back Monday the timesheet showed one day unpaid. He said I failed to be reachable and that PTO is not permission to "vanish." I printed
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  • the approval, the handoff and the messages where he writes, and I quote, you can answer basic questions by phone. HR lady looked at it, told us to resolve it
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  • "together" first. Boss told me to just take the day from next month to keep peace. I said I want it corrected now and if not I will escalate.
    via jaydenclouds13
  • If I forward all his messages and my paper trail to HR and cc his manager, WIBTA. Part of me feels petty, the other part is tired of being punished for boundaries.
    via jaydenclouds13
  • For what it is worth, when he took PTO in April nobody bothered him, we literally moved a client meeting. Should I push this, or is it making drama at work for no reason?
    via jaydenclouds13
  • An older businessman in a gray suit standing by the office window while calling someone.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • TitaniaT-Rex • 5h ago What the actual fuck? Paid time off means you are OFF. HR should not tell you to resolve it together. They need to handle it. The time
    via jaydenclouds13
  • was approved prior to the trip and you did everything to set the team up for success. Your boss sounds utterly incompetent.
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  • Glittersparkles7 • 5h ago NTA. Go above that HR agent's head. I also suggest you start looking for a new job.
    via jaydenclouds13
  • • Trippping Roses 5h ago NTA. If it we're me, is also continue to escalate. Paid time off is time of and you are under no obligation to answer work questions at that time and your boss's
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  • incompetence does not constitute an emergency leave of your PTO on your part.
    via jaydenclouds13
  • Plus he's giving you a black mark on your record too use against you in your year end review of you foolishly keep the peace.
    via jaydenclouds13
  • Nope, keep fighting the good fight here and if HR does not act, is suggest consulting a lawyer and your state labor board.
    via jaydenclouds13
  • A frustrated businessman on the phone stands in his office.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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workplace-stories work stories toxic-workplace job work PTO human resources Horrible Bosses company vacation toxic-work-environment
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