'He can't come... that defeats the whole point': 20-year-old excludes her mom's new boyfriend when the 46-year-old parent invites him to their mother-daughter bonding getaway

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 2, 2025 11:00 AM EST

This mom is trying to bond with her boyfriend, apparently, not her daughter.

After planning a mother-daughter getaway at a remote, lakeside cabin, this 20-year-old was disappointed to learn that her mom didn't see this vacation as an opportunity to bond with her college-aged child, but rather as a chance to get closer to her new boyfriend. Despite the daughter bankrolling the entire trip, booking accommodation, paying for transport, and stocking the fridge with groceries, the entitled mom was too smitten with her new boo to take a weekend to focus on family.

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  • Last year, I planned a similar trip with my own mom. 

    Now in my 30s, spending consecutive days with my mom (especially solo), was a rare treat. Hoping to bond with her and forge new memories, we went to New York City together for a long weekend. She had never been to Manhattan, and because it was expensive, I fronted a lot of the costs. The trip was as glorious as imagined, as we walked the streets of NYC with autumn leaves and a crisp wind at our backs. However, I can't imagine having a trip of a lifetime like that ruined by a new love interest, especially one who wasn't invited in the first place…

  • Mature mother looking offended at her adult daughter.
    via JackF

    https://www.canva.com/photos/MAGjP_MYLwE/

  • AITA for refusing to let my mom bring her boyfriend on our "mother-daughter" vacation?
    via Head_Secretary66
  • So I (20F) have been planning a small trip with my mom (46F) for months. I'm in college, and we haven't really done anything just the two of us since I was a kid.
    via Head_Secretary66
  • She's always said she misses spending time with me and wanted to "reconnect," so I saved up and booked a weekend getaway for the two of us at
    via Head_Secretary66
  • a lakeside cabin. It wasn't fancy just a cozy Airbnb with hiking trails, a fire pit, and no WiFi. I thought it would be a nice break for both of us.
    via Head_Secretary66
  • Slow DowN
    via Adinas Matasaru
  • Then, a week ago, my mom asked if her boyfriend could come. I said I'd rather it just be us since that's what we agreed on. She got quiet
    via Head_Secretary66
  • and said she didn't think it would be a big deal, since "he'd stay out of our way." I told her that defeats the whole point I wanted time
    via Head_Secretary66
  • with her, not the two of them. Now she's upset and saying I'm being selfish and immature, that her boyfriend is part of her life and I should "get used to it." She
    via Head_Secretary66
  • also said if he can't come, she doesn't want to go at all because it would make him feel excluded. I told her that's fine I'll still go alone or
    via Head_Secretary66
  • invite a friend. That apparently "hurt her feelings" and she told me I'm being disrespectful. So now I'm wondering... AITA
    via Head_Secretary66
  • for not wanting her boyfriend to come on a trip I planned specifically for me and her?
    via Head_Secretary66
  • For context, they've only been together for about a year, but she brings him everywhere now family dinners, errands, even when I visit home. I don't
    via Head_Secretary66
  • dislike him, he's fine, but it's never just her and me anymore. That's why this trip mattered to me so much. I haven't canceled anything yet. I told her I'd
    via Head_Secretary66
  • still go, even if she decides not to. Maybe she'll come around before then, but if not, I guess I'll have a solo weekend. I think I kind of need it anyway.
    via Head_Secretary66
  • Kicklt77. NTA. As a mom of a daughter your age, I think your mom is a nut and acting like a teenager. You are giving her such a huge gift and she is snubbing
    via Kicklt77
  • you. Not just the gift of a weekend away but the gift of time with you. You should definitely take a friend and have a great girls weekend with zero regrets
    via Kicklt77
  • Arivianne NTA at all, dude. This trip was meant to be some quality bonding time with ur mom. Seems like she's tryna change the deal to fit what she wants, not cool
    via Arivianne
  • Bringing the BF on is def not the same vibe u two originally talked about. Stand ur ground, stick to ur plan, u've got every right to enjoy that trip
    via Arivianne

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boyfriend family drama dads famiies drama kids brother siblings moms parenting dad story family sibling sister trip cabin stories parent mom cousins parents vacation getaways
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