Roommate and bandmate blows $200 rehearsal deposit on weekend trip with girlfriend, immediately asks to borrow $20: 'Your roommate stole from you'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 12, 2025 10:00 PM EST

Some folks just aren't great with money. Some of them can learn, but others are pretty close to hopeless. You just have to learn not to entwine your finances with theirs. But what if you're roommates?

When you're roommates with someone, there are a few things on the checklist that you hope they're ticking off. You hope that they are nice to be around-- generally fun, comfortable, and easy to talk to. You hope that they have a good sense of personal boundaries (aka they're not knocking on your door in the middle of the night asking to use your blender). And third, you hope they are responsible with their finances. After all, you're probably on a lease together. You'd hate to be in a situation where you get evicted because your roommate budgeted poorly. But these are problems that you can't always avoid. Sometimes life puts you in a tough situation that ends up testing your patience. The person in this story found themselves in that circumstance, where their roommate, with whom they also happened to be in a band, blew some important money. 

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  • A man lays on a couch, exhausted.
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • After (apparently wrongfully) trusting them with a stack of cash, one roommate quickly learned their lesson. Their friend was not to be trusted with any type of money-related issues and started looking for a way out. Read on to see what happened in this situation and what advice commenters gave. 

  • My roommate blew our $200 rehearsal deposit on a weekend trip... then asked me for $20

    So today my roommate took the $200 deposit we all chipped in for our practice space and spent it on a spontaneous trip to Maryland with his girlfriend. A few hours later my brother and I track him down at his cousin's place, dude is passed out and absolutely wrecked from the night before. He opens his eyes and the first thing out of his mouth is, "Can I borrow 20 bucks?"
    via u/Clear_Medium_5858
  • Now the deposit's gone, our booking is on pause, and the band's looking at me like I'm the idiot for trusting him with cash. He swears he'll "pay it back Friday," but with him, Friday has this magical way of moving. I'm leaning toward giving him a firm deadline and if he misses it, he's off the lease and out of any money- related responsibilities. I'm also
    via u/Clear_Medium_5858
  • debating whether small claims is worth it for the deposit or if that's just going to drain more time and sanity than it's worth. Either way, I'm done letting him touch shared money; from now on it's pay the venue or landlord directly, no cash, and everything through an app so there's a paper trail.
    via u/Clear_Medium_5858
  • If anyone's got solid boundary scripts or repayment plans that actually work with flaky roommates, I'm all ears. Also curious how you keep pooled funds safe when you've got a wild card in the house-what systems have saved you from this kind of nonsense?
    via u/Clear_Medium_5858
  • Two young men talk to each other outside.
    via Yuvraj Singh

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters had some tough love for this friend.

    KO4L4S • 3d ago Why would you keep living with a guy like that at all? He already failed you and cannot be trusted
    via u/KO4L4S
  • CorgiManDan • 3d ago . "Misplace" his phone or laptop. Tell him you are sure they will turn up once once you are motivated enough to help him look for it.
    via u/CorgiManDan
  • I_want_to_fix_things 3d ago . Thats a lot more leeway then I would've given
    via u/I_want_to_fix_things
  • DubiousPeoplePleaser • 2d ago He's one step away from selling off your band equipment. Do you really want him in your band?
    via u/DubiousPeoplePleaser
  • IndyAndyJones777 · 3d ago • Small claims court can get you a court order that he owes you the money. If he doesn't have the money, he still won't pay it. It seems like it would probably be a waste of your time and money.
    via u/IndyAndyJones777
  • WinthropTwisp • 3d ago This is stupid. Guy stole from you, obviously has substance issues and he's your roommate and a member of your band and you trusted him as the banker? Your band has vanishishingly small chances of success if this is the sort of personal and personnel decisions you make. Don't quit your day job.
    via u/WinthropTwisp
  • And for extra credit, check his instrument in at the nearest pawn shop, give him the ticket and tell him where to fetch it.
    via u/WinthropTwisp
  • LibraryMouse4321 . 3d ago Tell his mommy on him. Seriously, though, go to his parents and tell them that he stole from you and that you need the money back immediately, but he doesn't have it. Ask them to give it to you, and then he can pay them back instead.
    via u/LibraryMouse4321
  • • Jay_JWLH 3d ago Not worth it. If he doesn't give you the money by Friday, then move on. It's basically theft. Lesson learned, and he only has himself to blame if people don't want to flat with him anymore.
    via u/Jay_JWLH
  • Dis_engaged23 • 2d ago Your roommate stole from you. Police or small claims court, he should not get away with it. At min he is no longer your roommate.
    via u/Dis_engaged23
  • Todd_H_1982 · 3d ago . It's going to take a lot for this guy to change. It's not a couple of months thing, it's a complete lifestyle switch. So I don't think the situation he has going on right now is going to improve - nothing you can do or say will break the cycle he is in. If he's happy to use the money like that now, I dunno what he'll do next.
    via u/Todd_H_1982
  • Once I had a roommate who took my work laptop to a pawn broker on a Friday night (without me knowing) and used it as collateral on a weekend loan because he wanted to go out on a Saturday. He couldn't understand why I was so pissed at him given he was going to get me my computer back at 10am on a Monday when I started at 9?
    via u/Todd_H_1982
  • Anyway. Get your money back and then work out how you protect yourself moving forward - honestly I'd just forget about getting the $200 back. Focus on getting yourself a new friend!
    via u/Todd_H_1982
  • MyraCelium • 3d ago 'im debating on giving him a firm deadline' Respectfully, grow a spine
    via u/MyraCelium
  • djluminol • 2d ago Court filing fees are going to be between 1/6 and 1/2 what he took probably. And if you win what makes you think he's going to pay? Just boot him out and find a better roommate.
    via u/djluminol
  • Chaddie_D 2d ago How many roommates do you have? I'm reminded of the scene in full metal jacket when everyone put a bar of soap in their sock and two guys held the blanket.
    via u/Chaddie_D
  • Bushdr78 2d ago "Thinking about giving him a deadline" come on he's already messed up so give him that deadline and if he fails (which he will) boot him out
    via u/Bushdr78
  • iMakeBoomBoom 2d ago • You are going to have to write off the $200 at this point. The cost of learning what sort of person this guy is. Now that you know, never trust him again. Ever.
    via u/iMakeBoomBoom
  • Eats AlotOfBread 3d ago • Call his mother at this point. If he acts like a big baby treat him like one. Or take all his left shoes and left socks as collateral.
    via u/EatsAlotOfBread
  • preyforkevin. 2d ago Keeping him off the lease is a favor you're doing him if, somehow, you keep this idiot in your band. If his name isn't on the lease, he has no legal tie to the space you're renting. That means if he fucks anything up, it's on the lease holders. You should keep him off the lease, but also never let him into the practice space. That's my advice.
    via u/preyforkevin

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