'I was now the person holding a bag of sugar and a pile of IOUs': Office worker quits organizing monthly birthday funds after losing about $120 covering late or missing payments, igniting office drama over "ruining a nice tradition"

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 15, 2025 7:00 AM EST

No one wants to be the office chaser, running from cubicle to cubicle trying to get $5 out of each coworker, as if they were Boy Scouts trying to sell some stale chocolate-chip cookies! But if this coworker didn't take on the annoying role, no one in the office would get the birthday celebrations they deserve. And she honestly wouldn't mind if her colleagues actually put in the effort to contribute on time (or at all) and not make her the only person responsible for covering the excess costs. One cute card for a teammate a few years back, and suddenly, she's been promoted to Party Planner, a promotion that's cost her $120 in others' missing payments…So no wonder she's fed up, we would be too!

She's tried everything: Payment deadlines, creating helpful spreadsheets, but when coworkers are left off the card for not contributing, suddenly she's the one in the office villain. As expected, her retirement from the position of Party Planner has sparked a lot of cubicle controversy, while managers and coworkers claim that she's ruining a great tradition. If so, why don't they start broadening the budget within HR, and pay for that Red Velvet Double Layer themselves…cause it ain't cheap?

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  • When your company actually has a budget for these types of occasions, it makes the workplace a lot more peaceful. No one should have to fork out money so that everyone's name can be signed on the card's corner! We think boundaries are important, and if this company is so concerned about the happiness of its employees, it should stop disregarding this one! 

  • Work birthday celebration
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITJ for refusing to run the office birthday fund anymore after people kept Venmo ghosting me

    Vivid_Motor_2341 Tell your boss and everyone else you are currently owed $120 and until that is paid to you that you won't even consider continuing. It doesn't matter who is owed it if it's not in your account you won't engage in the convo at all
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  • I work in a mid sized office, mix of remote and in person. Years ago I made a cute card for a teammate and suddenly I became The Birthday Person.
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  • HR loved it because it looked like culture, managers loved it because they did not have to think, and people generally nodded and moved on.
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  • The routine turned into a monthly hustle. I would collect five bucks from twenty folks, order a cake, write the card, remind everyone to sign, then present it.
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  • Most months ended with me fronting money because three or four people said they would send late and then forgot.
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  • This year it got worse. We had four new hires and a couple of departures, so the list changed all the time.
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  • I built a small spreadsheet and a group chat so folks could choose in or out.
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  • Clear yes or no. What actually happened was thirteen versions of maybe, hit me next week, I left my wallet at my desk at home.
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  • Meanwhile the bakery wanted payment up front, the card needed buying, and I was now the person holding a bag of sugar and a pile of IOUS.
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  • Two weeks ago I tried a new rule. If money is not in by noon the day before, you are marked out and your name is not on the card.
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  • I posted the rule in chat and pinned it. Payday comes, six people still had not paid.
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  • Paying someone cash
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I closed the list and bought a smaller cake. The party was fine, the birthday person smiled, the slices were enough.
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  • Then the messages started. A manager pinged me that I should have covered the shortfall to keep team spirit.
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  • Two coworkers said I embarrassed them by not writing their names since they had planned to pay that night.
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  • One person even asked me to put the five bucks on my corporate card like it was office supplies.
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  • I told them I am done running the fund. If the team wants a cake, anyone can coordinate it, or we can do a once a quarter treat that the company buys.
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  • HR said there is no budget and called the fund purely voluntary. Now some folks say I am being petty and ruining a nice tradition.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10574780160
    via thesusannahtownsendcollection

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I feel used. I did the math and I am out about 120 for all the bits that never got paid back.
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  • I do not want to chase grown adults for coffee money. My partner says I should stick to the boundary and let the whole thing die if no one steps up.
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  • AITJ for pulling the plug after trying to set simple rules
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  • Unsolicitedadvice 13 NTJ. Don't use your own money for something everyone's supposed to be contributing to. Keep the message of the manager asking you to use personal funds for business reasons if the "team spirit" is that important.
    via Unsolicitedadvice
  • TootsNYC >A manager pinged me that I should have covered the shortfall to keep team spirit. That manager should be covering the shortfall on his/her expense report. I'd take that message from them up to HR and ask them about it. That's horrendous. But I also think that it's time for the tradition to end; you need a supermajority for those things to work, and people are indicating they don't want to.
    via TootsNYC
  • CyberRedhead27 I've been involved in a couple "culture" initiatives at work. If a company wants to establish anything, culture related or not, the company has to pay for that initiative. Period, full stop.
    via CyberRedhead27
  • dataslinger NTJ. New rule: whoever owes you money has to handle the next event. ETA: And since they owe you money, you already paid them for your share.
    via dataslinger
  • zomgitsduke "A manager pinged me that I should have covered the shortfall to keep team spirit." I'm so glad you reached out! Can you cover me? Currently I am out $40 and would LOVE if you could cover that and then seek reimbursement from Jerry, Teddy, Joanne, Jackie, Tyrese, Jerry again, etc. And when I am short in the future I would be so grateful if you could cover the difference and seek the reimbursement from our co- workers. Putting me in the middle of it causes a lot of tension as you have
    via zomgitsduke

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boss antiwork workplace-stories birthdays funding employee hr work-drama drama collection work coworkers colleague workplace payment Reddit owe employment
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