19-year-old confesses to his mother that he resents the fact that she remarried when he was a child: 'I resented her for remarrying when she made life worse by marrying a guy with more kids and all that debt'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Nov 12, 2025 12:00 PM EST

A young man reflects on how his mother's remarriage turned family life into financial and emotional chaos.

Family is complicated on the best of days. But when you exponentially complicate things by multiplying two families together to create a blended one, and mix in a healthy dose of financial issues, you're asking for trouble. Rewriting the family dynamic, right in the middle of a kid's childhood, can feel like changing the entire course of a story right in the middle of it. As if the writer got severe writer's block and jammed two entirely different stories together, and kept the main character names the same. Sort of like Steven King did when he was writing "The Stand."

Telling your parents the truth is hard at any level and at any stage in life. Loss and loneliness can definitely push us toward making quick decisions, toward security that we otherwise don't have in our lives. This mother might have been doing her best with two young children in the midst of grief, but she still needs to own her mistakes and accept that her actions had severe impacts on her children's lives.

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  • 01

    "AITAH for admitting I resent my mom remarrying and making a blended family when we struggled financially after her remarriage?"

    I (19M) don't live at home anymore and I have a really difficult relationship with my mom (47F). When I was 6 my dad died. Mom was left raising four kids on her own. I have an older brother and two younger sisters. 18 months after dad died mom remarried. Her husband was a widower with 5 kids from his first marriage and two stepkids he was raising.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 02
    A mother teaches her young son how to use toothpaste on a toothbrush
    via Curated Lifestyle

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    Neither my mom or her husband had much going into the marriage. Her husband had issues with money and spending/gambling. He was in debt when they got married and they knew each other 6 months before they decided to make a blended family. The debt stopped them
    via Kaiyyon
  • 04
    getting a decent size house so we ended up in a three bedroom place where there was a boy's room and a girl's room. So we shared regardless of bio or step relationships. It was all down to whether we were boys or girls.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 05
    There was no money for toys or activities. Food was really strictly managed. We had three small meals and no snacks. We all got free lunches and I used to get shit for not sharing what I got with one of the steps who got bullied and would have their lunch messed with every day.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 06
    Me and my brother shared a bed and mom would always go crazy that one of us wouldn't share with her husband's youngest son who had nightmares and already woke us up during the night. Mom thought I'd be a good choice since I was generally
    via Kaiyyon
  • 07
    good with kids but I didn't want to sleep with the kid. I never saw the steps as siblings. So it was really weird to be told I should share a bed and not just a room with one of them.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 08
    My mom's husband would try to get me and my brother to help him out with chores and stuff. We'd fight most days because we didn't want to help him and he wasn't our dad and we weren't ashamed to tell him that either. He'd try and say he did so much for us but we knew about his money issues so we didn't care about his rants.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 09
    Mom would always cry about us not making the most of the new family. She hated that we split into real sibling groups instead of blending into one sibling group. It was always a big deal. And the fact we resented sharing rooms with the steps and so many kids in general was something she resented me and my older brother for especially. She told us once she expected better from the two of us because we were older and should help make the "family" work.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 10
    The fights got worse when me and my brother started working part time and we used some of the money to treat our younger siblings only. We never bought stuff for the steps. Or for her and her husband. One time
    via Kaiyyon
  • 11
    my brother had money saved and mom's husband couldn't pay the bills. They wanted my brother to give the money and he refused. They were yelling at each other for hours.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 12
    He moved out just before he turned 18 and then he got a place with two of his friends. I followed as soon as I turned 18 and they let me move in with them. We still keep in touch with our siblings but contact with mom has been very limited and my brother has none. Mom's really upset we just left and basically cut all contact. I was
    via Kaiyyon
  • 13
    talking to her recently and she said she doesn't understand how we ended up here. She said she felt like she was being punished for falling in love again and trying to give us a better life. I told her she gave us a way worse life. Mom told me that wasn't fair and I said it was. I
    via Kaiyyon
  • 14
    admitted I resented her for remarrying when she made life worse by marrying a guy with more kids and all that debt who never really tried to turn things around. I said losing dad was already awful and we didn't need more bad. She tried to lecture me on how money doesn't mean everything and we could've had a bigger family if we
    via Kaiyyon
  • 15
    wanted to accept them but we never did and the way we were spoiled to think she should have stayed single to have more money. I just ended the call and ignored the texts she followed up with that said I had no good reason to judge her. AITAH?
    via Kaiyyon
  • 16
    NTA Loose-Chemical-4982 Your mom made choices that benefitted her, not her children, and that's not what a parent is supposed to do. It wasn't up to you to make her relationship work and she heavily parentified you and your older sibling at your emotional and developmental expense She'll never understand that because she's emotionally immature Good luck with your future - I hope you two oldest will be able to give your younger sisters some assistance when they are old enough to GTFO of there too
    via Kaiyyon
  • 17
    OP Kaiyyon We will and we promised them we'd have room for them.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 18
    Vestiel She remarried just 18 months after your father died and to a guy who had such issues? Seriously? She's right that money doesn't mean everything and that you could've had a bigger family. What she doesn't see though is that her arguments are meaningless when they cause so much drama in your life. She didn't think it through at all. She only cared about herself. How old are your sisters? Hopefully they are 18 soon and will be done with the mother too.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 19
    OP Kaiyyon One will be 18 soon and the youngest will be 18 a year after her. So not too much longer and we'll have space for them.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 20
    Comeback_321 If your mom is this terrible I'm sure she's not giving them any sex ed. Can I ask that you offer to take your sisters to PP? They do basic healthcare for women not just family planning and I'm sure they need a resource to be safe and healthy so they can fully escape!
    via Kaiyyon
  • 21
    OP Kaiyyon My brother took care of that. He said he didn't want them staying stuck in the shitty life mom gave us because they have a kid too young.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 22
    Positive_Ad4207 Keep a space for them. Help them store away important things (papers, things with sentimental value etc.) Help them lock their credit and social security number as soon as they turn 18. Help them in the process of starting their education. All the important things. Further. If you aren't spending Christmas with family invite them to your place and cook a nice meal for them. Everything and anything to keep the four of you together and create good memories for all of you. Definitel
    via Kaiyyon
  • 23
    OP Kaiyyon The important documents is something I can't help with. Me and my brother couldn't find ours so we had to order new documents. My sisters will have to do the same. We do have a few sentimental things stored for them and we had some of dad's things that we got from his family so we can share those once they're out.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 24
    cassowary32 I don't understand how the math worked in your mom's head. Tripling the number of kids with a broke gambler improved your lives, how?? NTA.
    via Kaiyyon
  • 25
    OP Kaiyyon In her head she looks at it as more people was better than less and no it really really wasn't.
    via Kaiyyon

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Babies family dynamics teens family drama stepmother aita AITAH infant kids brother sibling rivalry teenagers blended family siblings stepchild moms family feud parenting family reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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