15 Purrfect Holiday Texts From Mittens

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taloringer
Dec 23, 2017 12:00 PM EST

Mittens is texting away just in time for the Holidays! This sassy cat loves to text its owner everything on its mind... and we are loving it! 

Happy Holidays Mittens! 

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  • 01
    Text - oo Furizon 2:03 PM Mittens Messages Have you thought about what you'd like to ask Santa to bring you? I thought you'd never ask. I'd like a fancy bed. Are you sure? You hardly sleep on the bed you have. You're always on top of my clothes. Well then, I'd like Santa to bring me fancy new clothes for you. I get to wear the clothes? When I'm not napping on them! #selfish OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 02
    Text - eoo Furizon 10:33 AM Mittens Messages Mittens, I'm going out of town on Friday. What is this terrible news?? Did you remember to add "plan Mittens' funeral" to your to-do list? What? Since you're leaving me to STARVE Grandma is coming to stay with you and Earl. She's bringing treats. :) When are you leaving? Today? Can I help you pack? OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 03
    Text - oo Furizon 5:04 AM Mittens Messages It's early, Mitty. I want to say goodbye to you before your trip. Aw! Uber's almost here. Who's Uber? You're going away with Uber? Uber isn't a person. So it's a cat? Are you giving Uber my treats? Mitty, are you uber jealous of a car service? Not funny. #notonebit OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 04
    Text - oo Furizon 9:10 AM Mittens Messages You're home today! Just so you know, I wasn't the one who knocked over the trash can. #fithyhound Grandma said you were in cahoots with Earl. I have no idea where cahoots is, and I certainly wasn't there with Earl. So you didn't help Earl? Wait. I want to go back to talking about this "cahoots" place. Is it near Des Moines? OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 05
    Text - oo Furizon 10:11 AM Mittens Messages I'm glad you're home. You sure didn't act like it. You totally ignored me when I got home yesterday. Well, first you had to pay for your abandonment. #nofreerides Ok, so am I all paid up now? Not quite. I'll take an extra serving of liver treats. #tip OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 06
    Text - 0o Furizon 1:43 PM Messages Mittens Santa might give my fancy bed to another cat! He won't, Mitty. That would be the WORST Christmas ever. What if he gives my bed to a filthy hound? THAT would be the worst ever! Put your worries to bed. LOL. You have no idea what REAL problems are. I still can't find my favorite bendy straw. #forexample OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 07
    Text - oo Furizon 11:45 AM Mittens Messages I don't know where to put the fancy cat bed Santa is bringing me. Where your old bed is? But I want to keep my old bed there. Realistically, you won't sleep on either one anyway, Mittens. #notrelevant You don't like change. Please..enlighten me with more of your expertise on the obvious. OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 08
    Text - oo Furizon 10:42 AM Mittens Messages There's a conspiracy against The Mittens.! What are you talking about, Mittens? Snow is clearly falling, but I can't catch it That's because you're inside and the snow is outside. Do you want to go outside? No, I'll stick with my original observation #conspiracy OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 09
    Text - oo Furizon 1:47 PM Mittens Messages Hanukkah begins tonight and I still don't have a gift for Stumpy I gave you a great idea. Why would I want to give a dull gift? What? You suggested I give him a catnip dray-dull Dreidel. It's a spinning toy used during Hanukkah. Spinning? Toy? I think I might be Jewish. oOTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 10
    Text - oo Furizon 11:17 AM Messages Mittens Thanks for the catnip dreidel, Mittens. You're welcome, Stumpy. I hope it doesn't make you fall off the wagon. Fall off the wagon? I'm still loafing upright, pal. "Falling off the wagon" is "using catnip again." I'm offended! Geez, don't circle the wagons, Stumpy. Which wagon are we talking about now? BTW, do you have any more of those dreidels? OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 11
    Text - oo Furizon 4:04 PM Mittens Messages Mitttyyyyyy!!! What do you want, Drunk Patty? I pikkked your name for SECRETS SANTA! Oh, joy. I suppose I can expect some balled up liquor store receipts and toe nail clippings. Mitttyyyyy!!! I'm going to give u somethin speshal this year!! Ill be waiting in my cat condo with baited breath. I will take those balled up liquor store receipts, BTW. #justsayin OOTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 12
    Text - oo Furizon 11:50 AM Mittens Messages Fiona, I fear I won't have the perfect gift for you. Mitty, anything you get me will be perfect. Do you like pen caps, feathers, and yellow pipe cleaners all curled up like springs? Those are a few of my favorite things. Somebody should write a song about that. Um, Mittens.. What? Never mind. OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 13
    Text - seoo Furizon 2:19 PM Mittens Messages Secret Santa is stressing me out. Tt's supposed to be fun! Fun for YOU because you probably have someone who is not filthy and rhymes with SMOG. Oh, you picked Earl! Not divulging the Secret part of Secret Santa! Well, what else rhymes with smog? Grandmog? Drunk Pattog? Stumpog? Yeah, I picked the dog. OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 14
    Text - seoo Furizon 9:56 AM Mittens Messages What are you doing? Earl, Grandma will rue the day she gave you a phone as an early Christmas gift. So what are you doing? Avoiding the texts of a certain filthy hound. But you're still texting. OK, NOW I'm avoiding your texts. So what are you doing? Avoiding your... Curse my curiosity! OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey
  • 15
    Text - ..oo Furizon 9:32 AM Mittens Messages Can you please take away the dog's phone? Mittens, Earl has just as much a right to a phone as you do. But he keeps texting me and his cap lock is on! #annoying His paws are big, and he's just learning how to text. Be patient. How can you expect someone with paws to text, anyway?? Um ... YOU ARE ALWAYS TAKING HIS SIDE! OTexts from Mittens
    via Angie Bailey

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