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I (53)F My new boyfriend (56)(M) wants me to go on a road trip to Colorado for Thanksgiving
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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What the boyfriend frames as sweetness, not wanting her to be alone for the holiday, lands more like overreach. The relationship is still new. The divorce is only just moving. The emotional stakes of meeting his family are high, and his solution is to bend her education, schedule, and grief around his ideal version of Thanksgiving. That imbalance is the whole point. Saying no here is not cruelty or selfishness. It is a very reasonable reminder that a three-month situationship does not outrank a degree, existing family, or basic mental bandwidth.
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‘It’s important to me because I am changing careers to be able to retire’: New boyfriend pushes 53-year-old woman to prioritize a Thanksgiving trip to Colorado over her classes, kids, and long-term retirement plans, so she cancels to protect her future
Thanksgiving road trip sounds romantic until the itinerary starts sounding like a stress test. New boyfriend of three months wants a California to Colorado drive, a pickup in Nevada, a 3 a.m. departure, four days total on the road, and a first meeting with his kids, grandkids, and not‑yet‑ex wife squeezed around an intensive statistics class with quizzes and a final right after. The plan relies on car Wi‑Fi, homework in a moving vehicle, and studying in his son's office while everyone else bonds over turkey.
The bigger picture makes the whole thing even more lopsided. Career change and that stats grade are tied directly to future income and the ability to retire at all, while the boyfriend already has a pension, a clear six-year countdown, and a prenup conversation on the table. He brings financial stability and a protected exit plan. She brings a second act that absolutely cannot afford a blown semester. Toss in the fifth anniversary of her father's death and the fact that her own kids will now be in town, and suddenly this is not a fun adventure, it is a collision of obligations.
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