'[He] has a key to her apartment': Boyfriend co-parents dog with his ex-girlfriend, current girlfriend suspects cheating when she finds out he has unrestricted access to her home and likes all her selfies

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Dec 8, 2025 9:00 AM EST

We agree that when you adopt a dog, it's a commitment for life. We also truly see our dog as our child, so in the case that we would get a divorce from our husband, we would also want to "co-parent" our canine child. So, on one hand, we understand where the boyfriend below is coming from. He didn't want to give up his connection with his canine child, but that's not actually what went wrong here. He stayed friends with his ex (also not a problem for us), but not only are they friends, but he has a key to her house, and hangs out there all the time. Rightfully so, his new girlfriend was pretty suspicious.

The lack of boundaries between these two is certainly startling. We understand being friends with your ex, but having unrestricted access to their house? Going to hang out there while waiting for his current girlfriend to get out of work? It's definitely not an easy pill to swallow. On the outside, it seems harmless, right? Their connection is the dog, and they're still friends after.

But when you look closer, you see a parade of red flags. We won't get into all the juicy details, but you should read them below and draw a conclusion for yourself. If it were us, we would end the relationship. They may not be doing anything sinister, but they're certainly not over each other.

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  • 01

    Am I overreacting? My boyfriend coparents a dog with his ex

    Woman puts bowtie on her dog with man texting in the front, including 'He waits and hangs out at her apartment until I'm out of work'
    via Studio India

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So I am a [32yo] female and my bf is a [30yo] male. We have been together for about 9 months.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 03
    When we first got together he had been separated with his x gf for almost a year, they had been together for 4 years and shared a dog and apartment together.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 04
    I am the first girl he talked to or dated since they separated They separated because she cheated on him with a coworker and then she left him for said coworker and her and the coworker are still together.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 05
    My boyfriend still coparents the dog they shared together, which never initially bothered me at all because I love animals and I agree that a pet is a lifelong commitment once you adopt it.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 06
    The dog lives with her because his new place does not allow pets, therefore he goes to her apartment to visit the dog and walk it etc.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 07
    it never bothered me at all until I realized there wasn't a lot of boundaries in their dynamic.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 08
    Girl looking at camera while boyfriend hugs ex girlfriend
    via Prostock-studio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    My boyfriend has a key to her apartment and goes there whenever he wants, even just to hangout or even cook himself lunch there when he is around if he is closer there than to his home.
    via TightEquivalent4222

  • Having a key to someone's apartment is a big deal. People wait years before giving out keys, and this guy has a key to his recently broken up with girlfriend. As the current girlfriend, we would also be skeptical of what was really going on there.

  • 10
    There has even been times while I am at work and me and him were going to hangout after work so he waits and hangs out at her apartment until I'm out of work.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 11
    He has always been open with me about it so I never really saw it as a red flag even though it did make me a bit uncomfortable.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 12
    I've now come to find out sometimes they just hangout together and smoke etc. he says sometimes her bf is even there.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 13
    Close up of dog owners and dog
    via Helena Lopes from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    I think this dynamic is weird, he also like all of her selfies on social media still and I know he was hurt when she left him and did not want her to leave and wanted to work it out.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 15
    They talk all the time, even not about the dog and he says that they are friends.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 16
    I personally am not friends with any of my x's and wouldn't want to be friends with someone who cheated on me in the past.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 17
    She found out about me while he was at her house one time while he was visiting the dog and he told me when he told her I met their dog she kicked him out of her house.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 18
    This shows me that she still might have feelings there, and I think he still may have feelings for her too.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 19
    I brought my concerns up to him and he just tells me he loves me not her and she doesn't love him anymore either and their relationship is strictly only about their dog.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 20
    I don't know if I should continue in this situation or just leave him now before I get in too deep.
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 21
    My intuition is telling me he still has feelings for her. pancake123
    via TightEquivalent4222
  • 22
    revelations7834 8h ago Edited 8h ago • • NTA. This entire situation is a walking red flag parade. Co-parenting a dog is normal. Having a key to his ex's apartment, going over there to hang out, cook, smoke, and wait for you to get off work is not co- parenting. That is emotional attachment.
    via revelations7834

  • There are different types of cheating, and not all of them are physical. Having an unhealthy attachment to your ex may not look like cheating, but to us, it could count as emotional infidelity. 

  • 23
    They are basically still functioning like friends with history who never separated their lives. It is not on you to pretend that is fine. A few things stand out:
    via revelations7834
  • 24
    -They talk about things other than the dog -He hangs out there even when the dog is not the reason - He still likes all her selfies -She kicked him out when she found out about you which shows she still has feelings -He was heartbroken when she cheated and you are his first relationship after her -He still has unrestricted access to her home
    via revelations7834
  • 25
    That is not a man who has created boundaries with his ex or fully moved on. And honestly, people who are truly over their ex do not keep this level of contact. Especially after cheating. It is bizarre that he is basically slipping back into her home life while trying to build a new relationship with you.
    via revelations7834
  • 26
    Your intuition is not jealousy. It is common sense. You are picking up on a dynamic that is already crossing lines. If you tell him, "I am uncomfortable with you hanging out at her place, having a key, or smoking or chilling there outside of dog stuff," and he makes excuses instead of fixing it, that tells you everything you need to know.
    via revelations7834
  • 27
    If he will not set boundaries with her, set one for yourself and leave.
    via revelations7834
  • 28
    CloudyKiraxzxz • 8h ago That level of access to an ex's home is not typical. You're right to question it.
    via CloudyKiraxzxz
  • 29
    Ok-Tailor1396 · 8h ago This is kind of a tough one. The thing that bothers me the most about this is she kicked him out of the house after she found out you met their dog...it seems to me like she may be enjoying the (for lack of better word)
    via Ok-Tailor1396
  • 30
    "control" she has in their relationship dynamic. He might only be hanging around for the dog but it seems very fishy to me. People don't fall out of relationship patterns. That's why when a couple gets back together it mostly never works out. I think you questioning this is healthy and honestly you should listen to your intuition. Something about this does not seem right.
    via Ok-Tailor1396
  • 31
    Chemical_Shirt7837 • 5h ago Co parenting a dog lol now I've heard all the excuses
    via Chemical_Shirt7837
  • 32
    . Tanz31 8h ago It's a dog. Figure out who gets it and move on. At this point, the dog is just an excuse by them both to stick together
    via Tanz31
  • 33
    Mischievous1993 . 8h ago It's weird that they're coparenting a dog - but what's more weird is him lingering around her place. If it was just walking the dog and leaving I mean I'd personally not like it. but it's not AS bad as him just hanging out using her kitchen, hanging out WITH her and her man. Just weird. You're not overreacting.
    via Mischievous1993
  • 34
    Kenai_Pirate 7h ago wait.....he met her new boyfriend, and you can't even meet the dog? That's crazy imo.
    via Kenai_Pirate
  • 35
    Ecstatic-Charity-430 8h ago MOR. I am good friends with all but 2 of my ex's and I literally co-parent my last ex's dog (it was his dog before we were together, but throughout the relationship the dog bonded with me HARD) and we made it very clear that new partner's just have to deal with us being in the other's life similar to if we had had a child
    via Ecstatic-Charity-430

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dogs co parenting relationship history cheating exes selfie trust dog owners animals relationship drama
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