Stingy cousin treats family parties like her ‘personal buffet’ without contributing anything in return, woman calls out her selfishness in front of the entire family: ‘Someone had to finally say it’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 16, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Let's be real: The main reason we all still attend family events is the food. We need to bring home some leftovers because who can be bothered with cooking when there are perfect meals to be taken home from Christmas dinner? Think smarter, not harder.

The rule of thumb in this world? You get what you give. Taking and taking can only work for so long before someone asks for something from you in return, and honestly, it makes sense. How do we exist in the world and benefit from the resources it and the people who live here so graciously give us? Loved ones who make the baked macaroni and cheese, juicy ham, and decadent chocolate cake deserve awards—and a bit of consideration. Would it hurt the stingy people to contribute something—even a bottle of soda—to the family gathering?

The woman who shares this next story feels similarly, which is why she called out her older cousin for continually attending family events empty-handed. Though that's not the only thing: She treats the dinner spread as her own "personal buffet" and feels guiltless about it. Scroll below to read about what happens when you don't give and instead, take.

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  • 01
    a group of people sitting around a table eating food with a focus on one woman
    via Yunus Tuğ For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "Entitled cousin thinks family parties are her personal buffet"

    So I (28F) have a pretty big extended family. Whenever we do birthdays or holidays, it is a whole event, like 20+ people, big table, kids running around, the works.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 03
    My cousin "Bella" (31F) is at every single gathering. She is not evil or anything, but she has this insane sense of entitlement that got so bad last weekend that I am still annoyed.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 04
    Important detail, in our family we usually bring food potluck style. Everyone makes something, or at least brings drinks, snacks, whatever.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 05
    Except Bella. For as long as I remember, she shows up with literally nothing. Sometimes she will grab some plastic cups from her car and joke that it is her "contribution".
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 06
    My parents always shrugged and said that not everyone likes to cook, so I tried not to care too much.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 07
    The thing is, Bella also acts like she is the guest of honor every single time.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 08
    She wants the best chair, the comfiest blanket if we sit outside, the first plate when we start serving.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 09
    She will loudly complain if the dessert is not cut yet because she is "craving sugar".
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 10
    At my birthday this year my mom ordered a custom cake with my favorite flavor and this really cute design.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 11
    Before we even sang happy birthday, Bella was already hovering over the cake asking which piece would have the biggest part of the decoration because she wanted that one.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 12
    I laughed it off and said "pretty sure the birthday girl picks first". She rolled her eyes and said I was being petty.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 13
    Fast forward to last weekend, it was my little brother's 18th. I baked a huge cake and two trays of lasagna, my aunt did salads, my uncle grilled, everyone brought something.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 14
    Bella arrived half an hour late with empty hands, as usual. When it was time for cake my mom started cutting reasonably sized slices so everyone could get one.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 15
    hands reaching toward a blue sky to show that their hands are empty
    via Andrej Lišakov For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    Bella literally reached over her shoulder, pointed at the center piece with all the toppings and said "that one is mine, cut it bigger, I barely ate today".
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 17
    My mom kind of laughed nervously and said she needed to keep the slices even. Bella got mad and said she "always gets the smallest piece" and that people were punishing her for not having money to buy fancy food.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 18
    Mind you, she makes more than I do. Then she turned to me and demanded that I back her up "because you know how hard things are for me right now".
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 19
    At this point I was done. I said, probably too sharply, that bringing at least a bottle of sodal once in a while would not kill her, and that crying about cake size when she did not contribute anything was really not a good look.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 20
    She went quiet, then started tearing up and saying in front of everyone that I was shaming her and that family is supposed to share without counting who brought what.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 21
    My aunt pulled me aside later and said I could have kept my mouth shut to avoid drama, but my brother texted me after and thanked me, saying Bella always steals the "special" part of his cakes and he thought it was normal.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 22
    Now Bella is sending long messages about how I "attacked" her over one slice and that she will not come to future gatherings unless I apologize.
    via moonwashed_lorian
  • 23
    I honestly feel a bit guilty because I hate conflict, but I also think someone had to finally say it.
    via moonwashed_lorian

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entitlement mother family feud Party potluck food cousins
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