Members of the workforce recount the dumbest things they've heard their coworkers say: ‘She was adamant that Parmesan cheese was not a dairy product’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 17, 2025 1:00 PM EST

The best thing about the workplace is all the outrageous things you overhear in your office break room. You'd be surprised by how many seemingly capable adults actually have no idea how to spot your run-of-the-mill scam, or a dairy product when they see it.

Though you have probably had your fair share of mindless slip-ups that could be categorized as "dumb," you likely don't remember them because your coworkers were too nervous to correct you. Who knows, maybe one of your unintelligent slip-ups is lurking in this forum's thread, just waiting to be uncovered by the person who said it…

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  • We all have those days, though, don't we? It's okay not to know things, even if you become momentarily ostracized from the cliquey coworkers that lurk near your office cubicle. It's important to laugh at our misgivings and learn from them, because if we don't lead the laughing stock, someone else will. It's better to have control of your narrative than to allow some random guy in sales named Steve to do it.

    Below, employees recount the dumbest things they've heard their coworkers say. Perhaps, you'll find something you thought of but were too afraid to say out loud… Like I said, we all have those days…

  • 01
    two businesswomen talking during a coffee break
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "What's the dumbest thing you have ever heard a coworker say?"

    "I heard on the radio it's going to be a full moon this year." It was so random, so stupid, and spoken so confidently that my brain. short circuited and I questioned reality for a minute.
    via NightStar79
  • 03
    The worst part is we started work around 3am at the time. Meaning the moon was still in the sky, and he'd been there for YEARS. How do you not notice a full moon every month?
    via NightStar79
  • 04
    MadJen1979 This omelette tastes like egg - I don't like egg!
    via MadJen1979
  • 05
    nuclearmonte Called my boss around 7pm on a work night about a client issue and he answers breathless and annoyed. "My bank account got hacked!", he says. Me: Oh my god, the company account or your personal account?
    via nuclearmonte
  • 06
    Him: My personal account! I'm at Walmart getting the Apple gifts cards right now, I can't talk!! Me: Wait what? Him: They only let me buy $1000 but I need $2000
    via nuclearmonte
  • 07
    Me: DON'T SEND THE NUMBERS STOP WHATEVER YOURE DOING OMG NO ITS A SCAM y'all, he sent the numbers already. Luckily I had caught him at that time before he drove somewhere else and bought more Apple gift cards
    via nuclearmonte
  • 08
    Hotspur_on_the_Case One morning, I was warming up some blueberry muffins in the office microwave. Our receptionist, who was dumb as a box of rocks, came walking up. HER: I don't know how you do it!
    via Hotspur_on_the_Case
  • 09
    ME: Do what? HER: You get up every morning, bake two muffins for yourself, and bring them into the office! ME: (blinks a few times) Ummm....I bake a dozen over the weekend and bring them in each day. I keep them in the fridge and freeze the extras.
    via Hotspur_on_the_Case
  • 10
    HER: (wide-eyed, astonished) YOU CAN DO. THAT?!?!? I thought she was joking at first, but no, it came out that she thought baked goods didn't last and you had to eat them right away. Worst part? She came to me a month later and we had the exact same conversation.
    via Hotspur_on_the_Case
  • 11
    Healthy_Appeal_333 I ran the astronomy program at a small outdoor education center. I came back from a week's vacation to find out GM had fallen for the 'Mars will be as big as the moon in August' hoax, rewritten and reprinted ALL our brochures and material to feature this, and was mad at me for not informing them of this major celestial event. Man, the look on his face...
    via Healthy_Appeal_333
  • 12
    Mysterious-Present93 She was adamant that Parmesan cheese was not a dairy product. Good times
    via Mysterious-Present93
  • 13
    a wheel of parmesan cheese cut up
    via Alexander Maasch for Unsplash
  • 14
    Cornflake294 Heating my lunch in the breakroom using the microwave oven... co-worker comes in, gets their food out of the fridge as my food finishes and I take it out. I leave the microwave door open for them. They say something to the effect of "oh good! You warmed it up for me so it won't take as long!" They were serious...
    via Cornflake294
  • 15
    RedRoscoe 1977 Co worker 1 to late arriving co-worker "Why are you late?" Co worker 2 "I had trouble finding my car keys." Co worker 1 "Thank goodness you found them before you got here " Co worker 2....silence
    via RedRoscoe1977
  • 16
    avenger1812 There were two of us at work with the same first name (surprisingly it was only 2 of us out of 1000 with the same common first name). Another co-worker couldn't grasp the concept of 2 random people having the same first name. She was convinced we were the same person.
    via avenger1812
  • 17
    symbolicshambolic I was one of two people with the same name where I work. I was looking for the other person with my name so I went up to a coworker and said "have you seen Jane," and she said, "which one?"
    via symbolicshambolic
  • 18
    Careful-Self-457 My coworkers are awesome and normally don't say stupid things. But I did have a lady freak out on me once because it was high tide and we advertise beach access and there was NO BEACH! I tried explaining that it was peak high tide and that if she gave it a half hour the beach would start coming back. She called me an idiot and a few other choice words and drove off in a huff. Advice to coastal visitors in the winter: there may not be much beach at high tide.
    via Careful-Self-457
  • 19
    Management Novel4455 A coworker and I were talking about our families one day and I said I had a brother who was 12 years older than me. She asked me why he was older than me by so much. It was so stupid it kinda broke my brain for a second lol
    via ManagementNovel4455
  • 20
    NightStar79 Sounds like she'd have a hard time comprehending my family situation too. I have a brother who is 17 years older than me.
    via NightStar79
  • 21
    SufficientRatio9148 It was actually also kinda brilliant; "Work harder, not smarter. Bc I'm not very smart."
    via SufficientRatio9148

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workplace-stories employment-discussion coworkers funny
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