Guy lends struggling cousin $1,100, cousin uses it to mock him at a family function, so he reverses the payment: '[I let] the bank finish the conversation’

You know that saying, "don't bite the hand that feeds you?" Well, that can be applicable in more than one setting. For instance, this cousin bit the hand that was lending him money, and he immediately had to deal with the consequences. 

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  • Distressed man looking at paperwork
    via Unsplash+ (and Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
    Distressed man looking at paperwork 

  • "AITA for reversing a $1,100 payment after my cousin used it to get laughs at my expense in front of the whole family?"

    The receipt was sitting right there on the coffee table when he picked it up, scanned it, and said, "Guess guilt pays well," loud enough for everyone in the room to hear.
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  • My aunt laughed first. Then my cousin. Then the whole living room went along with it, the way families do when someone says the mean thing everyone was already thinking.
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  • I had paid off his credit card. Eleven hundred dollars. I did it because he'd been drowning in late fees for months and kept texting me that he was embarrassed, that he just needed one break, that I was the only person he trusted. I sent the
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  • Why would you mock someone who is helping you out? This cousin might have been embarrassed that he was short in funds and broke and needed to reach out for financial help from a family member. And yeah, that will definitely make you feel insecure, and you'll want to do anything that makes you feel more confident. But making fun of the cousin who helps you out is not a good way to boost your confidence. He got the entire family to start laughing at him. And for what? Literally, no idea. Most likely just because he was feeling insecure. But consequences to actions can be immediate, and in this case, they were. 

  • payment three days before Christmas. Didn't tell anyone. Just did it. And he turned it into a joke at my expense. I didn't say anything right away. I walked over, reached down, and took
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  • the receipt back out of his hand. He looked surprised. I folded it and put it in my pocket. He said, "Relax, I'm joking." I said, "I know."
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  • Then I went to the bathroom, opened my banking app, and filed a reversal on the payment. The card issuer had a dispute option for voluntary transfers made under false pretenses. I had his texts. Every single
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  • one. The ones where he said he was humiliated. The ones where he said he'd never ask again. The ones where he said he'd pay me back by February.
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  • I came back out and sat down. We did the rest of the gift exchange. I smiled when I needed to smile. About ten minutes later his phone buzzed. Then
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  • again. Then he stood up and looked at me from across the room with this expression I'd never seen on him before. Not anger. Something closer to panic. He said, "What did you do."
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  • Well-dressed man ripping up a piece of paper
    via Unsplash+ (and Getty Images)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
    Well-dressed man ripping up a piece of paper

  • It is so easy to take back the money you have lent these days. You can do it just with a couple of strokes of your fingers on the phone. So this guy didn't even need time to think about how to react to his cousin mistreating him. He saw the situation firsthand and witnessed his cousin choose to use him as a source of belittlement, so he did what he had to do and assisted karma. He reversed the $1,100 he was lending him and can anyone really blame him? 

    Lending money to family members can already be such a messy thing to do. You feel obligated, but do you actually trust them to pay you back? They are family, not a professional financier. And what happens when they don't pay you back? That's when many family members will take advantage of the “bl00d runs thicker than water” saying. But they don't know that they are only saying a portion of that saying. The rest of that saying actually makes it mean that trust is earned, not inherited. 

  • Not a question. A statement. I said, "I took the receipt back." He stepped into the hallway and called the card company. I could hear him from the couch.
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  • He came back in two minutes later and said I had no right to do that, that it was already applied, that I was being vindictive. I said, "You told me you were embarrassed. I
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  • believed you. Then you used it to get a laugh." He said I was overreacting. My mom looked at the floor. My aunt suddenly needed more coffee.
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  • Nobody in that room said a word, and the silence was the most honest thing that happened all day. He left early. Sent me a long text that night about how I humiliated him and
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  • how family doesn't do this to each other. I read it once and put my phone face down. The reversal went through two days later.
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  • I've been sitting with it since then, wondering if I was too cold about it, if I should've pulled him aside first, if taking the receipt back was petty. But then I remember that he had a room full of people laughing and he
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  • chose that moment anyway. I don't know. Maybe I should've said something when he made the joke instead of going quiet. Or maybe going quiet was the only thing that kept
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  • me from doing something worse. So, AITA for letting the bank finish the conversation?
    via KINOH1441728

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