Senior manager refuses to pitch in for a coworker's retirement gift because she constantly mocked her team's function in the company: [Brenda] negatively impacted my work-life balance for years’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 19, 2025 7:00 AM EST

When an unhelpful, negative-minded coworker retires, it's safe to say that you probably won't miss them very much. Their attitude negatively impacted your work, your morale, and most importantly, your peace of mind. Farewell parties are typical workplace protocol, but that doesn't mean you should be expected to cough up hundreds of dollars on a gift for the retiree, especially if they very clearly don't deserve it. Shouldn't the gift be on the company dollar instead?

The concept of a "mandatory" gift at the expense of employees' finances is preposterous, and management should be help accountable whenever they pressure their employees to spend their hard-earned money on someone they don't even like.

In the story below, an employee explains that they flat-out refused to contribute to their colleague's farewell gift on principle. Not only is an expected $100 contribution entitled, but the colleague in question went out of her way to be as unhelpful as possible to the employee. In what world should the employee reward bad behavior?

What would you do in this situation? On the one hand, other colleagues might feel pressured to contribute more money. However… The employee is setting a precedent that they should not be expected to front any bills for gift-giving. Scroll to read the entire story.

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  • 01
    smiling woman working on computer while colleague stands behind her holding a red gift box
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    "AITA for refusing to contribute to a farewell gift for a coworker who constantly minimized our team's work?"

    I (31F) am a senior manager on a small, five person product development team. Our coworker, Brenda (55F), is retiring next week after 20 years at the company.
    via MasterPossible4409
  • 03
    Brenda is technically competent, but she has a notoriously negative attitude toward our team's administrative workload.
    via MasterPossible4409
  • 04
    Throughout her entire tenure, she treated essential tasks like documentation, data entry, and procedural compliance as beneath her, calling them grunt work and often openly mocking them.
    via MasterPossible4409
  • 05
    the Consequently, remaining four of us had to absorb 100% of these critical but less glamorous responsibilities.
    via MasterPossible4409
  • 06
    This imbalance meant the rest of us routinely worked late and weekends just to keep up with the mundane tasks Brenda shirked.
    via MasterPossible4409
  • 07
    Our boss knows this happens but has always been hesitant to discipline Brenda due to her long service.
    via MasterPossible4409
  • 08
    Now that Brenda is retiring, the team lead is organizing a big farewell gift a $600 personalized luxury watch and asking for a mandatory $100 contribution from each of us.
    via MasterPossible4409
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    a woman holding a one hundred dollar bill in her pocket
    via Vitalii Khodzinskyi For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    I politely declined to contribute anything. I explained privately to the team lead that I respect Brenda's long career, but I cannot financially contribute to a celebratory gift for someone whose persistent refusal to share the basic administrative burden severely and negatively impacted my work life balance for years.
    via MasterPossible4409
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    I said I would sign the card, but that's all. The team lead told me I was being petty and disrespectful, and that Brenda's past behavior shouldn't overshadow the need for professionalism during her retirement send off.
    via MasterPossible4409
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    The other two coworkers who have also felt the strain of the extra workload are now uncomfortable because they feel pressured to pay the full amount, and they are saying I am making them look bad for not contributing.
    via MasterPossible4409
  • 13
    AITA for refusing to pay for a luxury farewell gift for a long- term coworker whose negative attitude and refusal to do her fair share of the work constantly added a substantial burden to my own workload?
    via MasterPossible4409
  • 14
    Gibson BluesGuy Retirement gifts come from the corporate account not employees.
    via GibsonBluesGuy
  • 15
    Ok-Cheetah-9125 NTA They don't get to say it's mandatory to chip in on a gift for anyone. They should be getting her a gift for her service to them.
    via Ok-Cheetah-9125
  • 16
    PeacockFascinator778 NTA. A mandatory contribution?! Hell no. The company can pay for her watch.
    via PeacockFascinator778
  • 17
    NellieFl Please speak to HR immediately, no company can mandate a 'gift' and it's inappropriate to demand money when you don't know people's personal situations. NTA
    via NellieFl
  • 18
    JustWowinCA "No, I will not contribute. If you want to give her something then fine, but I'll not be bullied into giving to a person who was more of a boat anchor than a co- worker. I do not want to be asked again." Then go to HR if they press the issue. Tell your team they're under no 'obligation' to donate, and say it aloud in a meeting. "Team, there's been some talk about a 'gift' for Susie, you can if you want to, but you are under no obligation to so.' Saying it out loud releases the pressu
    via JustWowinCA
  • 19
    ximxperfection NTA. Gifting at work should never be mandatory.
    via ximxperfection
  • 20
    ChuckNavy02 NTA. The company should pay for her retirement gift.
    via ChuckNavy02

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terrible coworkers boss workplace-stories manager gift retirement
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