28 Star Trek Puns and Dad Jokes That Boldly Go Where Groans Have Gone Before

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John Summers • Contributor
Dec 18, 2025 5:00 PM EST

There are two universal truths in this galaxy. One, Star Trek fans will debate canon until the heat death of the universe. Two, Star Trek dad jokes are unavoidable, unstoppable, and somehow immortal.

This list is for the jokes that make you sigh, roll your eyes, and then immediately steal them for later use. The kind of puns that feel like they were written by someone wearing a Starfleet uniform, holding a mug that says "World's Best Captain," and absolutely refusing to apologize for any of it.

We're talking warp-speed wordplay. Phaser-level dad energy. Jokes that hit you like a low-budget alien forehead prosthetic. Some are painfully obvious. Some are delightfully nerdy. All of them would make Picard pause, adjust his chair, and continue anyway.

If you've ever laughed at a joke involving Klingons, Tribbles, or the phrase "resistance is futile," you are among friends here. And if you haven't, well… we're still going to tell them.

So set phasers to pun, engage maximum dad mode, and prepare for jokes that are not logical, not necessary, and absolutely inevitable.

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  • 01
    fB I have a great distrust of trees number one... Trees sir? Yes, they're very shady! T.U.M. ARMY
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 02
    A NEW STRAIN OF HEAD LICE HAS BEEN DISCOVERED AND IT IS KNOWN TO BE RESISTANT TO ALL TRADITIONAL TREATMENTS. YES IT'S LEFT SCIENTISTS SCRATCHING THEIR HEADS. imgflip.com THAT'S TERRIBLE!
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 03
    Do you know why the Federation banned genetic augmentation? Yes I'm familiar with the history of the Eugenics Wars. No actually it wasn't until an incident many years later... When a geneticist tried to combine the DNA of a fiddler crab and a cheetah... Things went sideways real fast. facebook.com/DominionMediaTV
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 04
    Dr. I'm having back pains! Any idea what could be causing them? FUN @chyppi ES I have a hunch. Dad Trek
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 05
    SO MY FIRST BOYFRIEND DIED OF POISONING AND MY SECOND BOYFRIEND DIED OF BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA? WHAT HAPPENED? HE WOULDN'T DRINK THE POISON
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 06
    You get why I had to make the bed first, right? Now you're Dataona spreadsheet Father. Father, please.
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 07
    I really like Beyoncé. Rihen Beand Whatever floats your boat. No, that's buoyancy. Riken's Bed
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 08
    In France, many women are a perfect 10. Oh yes, than a it is more neuf. Ten is good?
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 09
    I saw you walking your dogs yesterday They're not my dogs, they're my sister's Your sisters are ugly
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 10
    I HAVE DEVOTED MY LIFE TO STUDYING MARINE MAMMALS. SO IT HAS GIVEN YOU A SENSE OF PORPOISE?
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 11
    I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY THE FRENCH EAT SNAILS. WE DON'T LIKE FAST FOOD.
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 12
    DOCTOR, LT. DANIELS HAS BEEN IN AN ACCIDENT AND TURNED INVISIBLE. HE'S IN THE WAITING ROOM. TELL HIM I CAN'T SEE HIM RIGHT NOW.
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 13
    WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND WAS HIT BY A VIOLIN, THEN A CLARINET AND THEN A FRENCH HORN I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS AN ORCHESTRATED ATTACK imgflip.com
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 14
    Will you do my homework for me? Captain Kinks Man Myth Legend No sweetie, it wouldn't be right. Just do your best. Captain Kink Man Myth Legend
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 15
    Dad Trak Hey, Jean-Luc... What do you call dental x-rays? I have no idea, Jim. Tooth pics.
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 16
    Number one, have you ever tried blind-folded archery? No sir. You don't know what you're missing
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 17
    I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. Riken's Beard It was a little condescending. Riken's Beard
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 18
    harnock COMEDY Cabaret In ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poisons. Poisons I, II, and III would kill you instantly. Charnocke COMEDY Cabaret Poison IV would just make you itchy.
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 19
    DID I TELL YOU THAT I JUST JOINED A DATING SITE FOR ARSONISTS? THEY SENT ME A LOT OF MATCHES
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 20
    I asked Keiko what women really want, she said "attentive lovers"... Or maybe it was "a tent of lovers", I wasn't really listening. imgflip.com Mark Artuso Star Trek Memes
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 21
    When I was in the military, I was hit with both mustard gas and pepper spray. So, you're a.... seasoned veteran?
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 22
    Did I tell you I met my first girlfriend when I was working at a cheese factory? DadTrek No. She just had a whey about her.
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 23
    YOU NEED TO STOP WITH ALL YOUR SILLY JOKES. WHATEVER MEANS NECESSARY. HOW CAN I STOP MY ADDICTION? NO, IT DOESN'T.
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 24
    IN INDIA THEY USED TO RIDE ELEPHANTS TALLER THAN A HOUSE. YOU DON'T, YOU GET DOWN OFF A DUCK! CG TREK HOW DO YOU GET DOWN OFF AN ELEPHANT?
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 25
    MY GIRLFRIEND SET FIRE TO ALL OF HER OUTSTANDING BILLS. BERNADETTE. imgflip.com WHAT IS HER NAME AGAIN?
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 26
    I watched a hockey game and I noticed the corners of the rink are round. Rihen's Beand Do you know why the corners are not 90 degrees? Rihen's Beard Because then the ice would melt.
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 27
    MY GIRLFRIEND POKED ME IN BOTH OF MY EYES. STOPPED SEEING HER. Imgflip.com
    via Wheretheheckisjason
  • 28
    What did the woodpecker think of the petrified forest? I have no idea He thought it was impeccable. Dalitek
    via Wheretheheckisjason

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