Entitled sister-in-law calls brother's wife the family ‘servant’ after she slaves away for Thanksgiving dinner, so she refuses to cook for Christmas forcing SIL to cook, everyone gets food poisoning: ‘[I] feel justified'

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  • a woman in an apron preparing food for a holiday meal
  • She said it right as I was bringing out the turkey. I'd been on my feet since 5 AM basting that thing every hour, making three types of stuffing because people have preferences, hand-rolling dinner rolls, peeling what felt like 50 pounds of potatoes.
  • My back was screaming and I had a burn on my wrist from the oven rack.
  • I set the turkey down on the table and his sister Christina looked around at everyone and said "Well I guess the servant finally finished her job.
  • Can we eat now or does she need a tip first?" The whole table went silent.
  • My husband just sat there. Didn't say a word. His mom actually laughed. She laughed and said "Oh Christina" like it was some cute joke.
  • I put down the carving knife, took off my apron, and walked straight to the bedroom.
  • I could hear them starting to serve themselves. Nobody came to check on me. Twenty minutes later my husband knocked and said "Babe are you coming back?
  • We saved you a plate." Like that was supposed to fix it. I told him I was done.
  • He said I was being dramatic. Said Christina was just joking and I was too sensitive.
  • I asked him why he didn't defend me and he said he didn't want to make a scene in front of his family.
  • So I told him fine. I wouldn't make a scene either. I just wouldn't be cooking for his family anymore.
  • He thought I meant just Thanksgiving. I meant ever. Christmas came around and his family does this big dinner on Christmas Eve.
  • Usually I'd make a standing rib roast, homemade Yorkshire puddings, the works. His mom called me two weeks before asking what time I needed her kitchen to start prepping.
  • I said I wasn't cooking this year. She laughed and said "Oh honey don't be silly, you know nobody else can cook like you do." I said then I guess you'll figure something else out.
  • She stopped laughing real quick. Called my husband upset, saying I was punishing the whole family over
  • He tried to convince me to "just do it this one time" and we'd talk about boundaries after the holidays.
  • at home setting the dinner table for christmas
  • I said no. His sister Christina volunteered to cook. She went on and on in the family group chat about how she'd been watching cooking shows and taking online classes. and this was going to be amazing.
  • My husband acted relieved. Told me see, it all worked out, I could just relax this year.
  • Christmas Eve came and we showed up empty- handed. His whole family kept looking at me like I was going to pull a casserole out of my purse or something.
  • Christina had made what she called "elevated holiday cuisine." Everything had some fancy French name I couldn't pronounce.
  • The turkey was raw in the middle. Not pink, like straight up raw. The "garlic herb potatoes" were burnt on the outside and hard as rocks inside.
  • She'd made this weird cranberry foam thing that tasted like cough syrup. The green beans were cold and soggy.
  • She'd attempted some kind of soufflé that had collapsed into a flat rubbery disk. People were pushing food around their plates trying to be polite.
  • My husband's dad finally said he wasn't hungry and got up. Within ten minutes half the table had cleared out to the kitchen where people were making sandwiches from the deli meat his mom had in the fridge.
  • Christina was near tears saying she followed the recipes exactly. My mother- in-law said "Well it's fine, everyone has off days" but you could tell she was pissed.
  • She kept looking at me like I was supposed to swoop in and save dinner. I just sat there eating the store-bought rolls.
  • My husband pulled me aside and said "Okay you made your point, this is embarrassing for everyone.
  • Just help her fix it." I said no, I'm a guest this year, remember? He said I was being petty.
  • We left early. He didn't talk to me the whole drive home. Then three days later his mom called him crying.
  • Nine people from Christmas Eve dinner had gotten food poisoning. Bad. His aunt was in the hospital on an IV.
  • His dad hadn't left the bathroom for two days. Christina had apparently undercooked the turkey and cross- contaminated a bunch of stuff.
  • The family was livid. Someone reported it to the health department because they thought it might be the grocery store's fault, but turns out it was just Christina's cooking.
  • Now she was dealing with a health department investigation and everyone was comparing notes about how sick they'd gotten.
  • mother-in-law holding her stomach due to having food poisoning
  • My mother-in-law called me directly for the first time in three weeks. Asked if I'd be willing to host New Year's dinner.
  • Said she'd pay for all the groceries and even hire someone to help me clean up after.
  • I said no thank you. She actually started crying on the phone. Said she didn't realize how much work I'd been doing all these years and she was sorry for not appreciating me.
  • I said okay, apology accepted, but I'm still not cooking. Then Christina called. Full on sobbing apology.
  • Said she didn't mean to call me a servant, she was trying to be funny and it came out wrong.
  • Said she never realized how hard it was to cook for that many people and she had so much respect for me now.
  • I told her I appreciated the apology but my answer was still no. Here's where it gets messy.
  • My husband is furious with me. Says I'm holding a grudge and punishing people who apologized.
  • His family is having a catered New Year's now and it's costing his mom $800. She keeps making passive aggressive comments in the family chat about how "some people can afford to be generous with their talents and some people choose not to be." My husband says I proved my point and now I'm just being cruel.
  • That his aunt was hospitalized and I'm still refusing to help. That family is supposed to forgive each other.
  • But I don't think I'm punishing anyone. I just don't want to spend my holidays as unpaid kitchen staff for people who thought it was funny to call me a servant.
  • I'm tired of doing all that work and getting zero appreciation until suddenly nobody else can do it.
  • My husband is sleeping in the guest room now. Says I'm not the person he married.
  • His mom uninvited me from New Year's unless I'm willing to "contribute" and my husband is going without me.
  • Half of me feels justified. The other half is wondering if I took this too far.
  • They did apologize. His aunt really was in the hospital. And now my marriage is falling apart over holiday dinners.

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