Husband asks 43-year-old wife to stop wearing earrings because he thinks they make her look old, she refuses: 'My husband looks significantly younger than me.'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 12, 2026 11:00 AM EST

Who told him that earrings make women look old?

Women are constantly under scrutiny to look as young as possible. We're being told that the way were are naturally is not good enough. If our hair starts turning grey when we're 25, we're told we have to dye it because having hair that reminds us we are getting older every day is socially unacceptable. We're encouraged to start getting work done when we're still young, because by the time we "need" to get work done, the "damage" of aging will already be done. It's a battle that nobody can ever win, because Father Time comes for all of us, and even if you do everything you can to prevent aging, society still won't be satisfied with your self-expression. 

It's also socially stigmatizing for women not to accept their age. If a 45-year-old is dressing like a 22-year-old, a lot of people will judge that more than they'll judge a 45-year-old who looks closer to 55. The only thing you can do in such a system is embrace radical self-acceptance. If your hair is half gray in your 30s, accept it! If you want to dress like a teeny bopper in your 40s, accept it! There's literally no winning when every part of your body and self-expression is scrutinized, so you might as well like the way you look because you're the most important relationship you have. 

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  • A woman with long hair standing next to a curtain
    via Paulina Herpel (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The woman in this story is doing something that women of all ages do: wearing earrings. While specific types of earrings are more popular among certain age groups, wearing earrings is not indicative of advanced age. The husband in this story thinks earrings make his wife look like an old lady, and he had the gall to ask her to stop wearing them because of it.

  • Am I wrong for immediately saying "no" when my husband asked me to stop wearing earrings because he said they make a woman look older?

    My husband (41m) looks significantly younger than me (43f). Yesterday, my husband said he would like to talk to me. He told
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • me loves me, and that nothing will ever change that. He said I'm an amazing mom. And more sweet things.
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • Man in a black and grey sweater
    via Albert Dera

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Then he mentioned how earrings makes a woman look older. He asked if I could stop wearing earrings makes they're making me look older. In less than 20 seconds of him asking, I said "no." I
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • don't think I have ever rejected a request from my husband so fast. I usually think things though for a longer period.
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • My husband said he's disappointed that I answered no so quickly. I got annoyed with him and told him he has the deal with the fact that he has
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • an old-looking wife. He said he didn't want to deal with me when I'm like this, and he walked away. Am I the asshole ?
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • EfficientSociety73 NTA. So, earrings make you look old? Ok. I guess I look extra old. And so does my teenage daughter because we both have multiple piercings. Not a single part of that argument makes sense. There has to be more to it than just earrings...
    via u/EfficientSociety73
  • OP Common-Expression740 I don't know. I had always thought earrings makes girls and women look younger.
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • Crazy_Bee2 Ive never heard this one before. Now I want to see what earrings you wear
    via u/Crazy_Bee2
  • OP Common-Expression740 The most common is white diamond stud earrings.
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • Silver and diamond studded ring
    via Sabrianna

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • MRRRRCK Diamond stud earrings are super classy and timeless. Definitely not something that ages a woman. There's something else here. Maybe earrings remind him of his mom or something that grosses him out. I dunno, I'm grasping at straws here.
    via u/MRRRRCK
  • OP Common-Expression740 Well, his mom doesn't even wear earrings.
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • Mopar Medusa NTA I am 5 years older than my husband. He has never asked me to stop wearing anything because it makes me look older. I am older! I am 58 and dress more like Adam Sandler than some sexy woman. I want comfort. Your husband is a weirdo.
    via u/MoparMedusa
  • OP Common-Expression740 He hasn't asked me to change anything else Edit: After thinking about it, it's not true that he hasn't asked me to change anything.
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • notrobert7 NTA. My 65 year-old father who I consulted on this says your husband is an idiot unless you have some strange earrings. If he doesn't like your earrings, he should buy some for you he does like and give them to you. That is his advice. He and my mom were happily together and in love almost 45 years when she unexpectedly passed a few years ago. He has not taken off his wedding ring.
    via u/notrobert7
  • OP Common-Expression 740 Thanks for doing research for me.
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • Familiar_Set_9779 Nta though iam curious what kind of earrings you usually wear lol
    via u/Familiar_Set_9779
  • OP Common-Expression740 White diamond stud earrings are the most common. I also wear hoops.
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • Round_Square_3420 What else has he asked you to change?
    via u/Round_Square_3420
  • OP Common-Expression740 He really wants me to clear my adult acne.
    via u/Common-Expression740
  • Kaleidoscope_306 How do earrings make a woman look old anyway?
    via u/Kaleidoscope_306
  • NTA EldritchDreamEdCamp He does not get to police your wardrobe. Also, any guy who gets upset that women are people and we age is a fool and an AH.
    via u/EldritchDreamEdCamp
  • vortexaoth NTA I mean no offence to your husband but this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in a while. How can earrings make a woman look older?? Maybe I am reading too much into this but it looks like he is trying to tell you that you look older and you "have to do something about it" and using earrings as an excuse to bring up the topic. Disgusting in either way.
    via u/vortexaoth

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old diamonds middle aged request wife earrings husband aging young
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