More experienced employees constantly ask coworker for help, get annoyed when she calls them out on it: 'When I need help, they don't want to help'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jan 13, 2026 9:00 AM EST

Teamwork is a two-way street, but not everybody wants to recognize that.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you are not sure about something at the workplace. In fact, it is usually preferable to attempting to do something and then making a mistake that you or somebody else is tasked with correcting. It is important to acknowledge our limits and move forward accordingly. We all have different types of knowledge and strengths, even those who work in similar jobs. 

At the same time, if you are somebody who is reasonably experienced in your role, it shows a bad attitude to get mad at being asked questions. Few people are at their best when they have to work with those who refuse to give them assistance when they need it. It promotes an unpleasant working environment and makes people a lot more vulnerable to doing things wrong. 

Sadly, sometimes people are so obsessed with maintaining some imaginary pecking order that they would rather act passively aggressive and slow down the workflow than be of genuine help to their coworkers. Not only do they make themselves look bad, but they also make many of those who work with them resentful.

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  • one woman stands over another who is sitting at a laptop, pointing at something on the computer screen
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this story, an insurance employee was increasingly irritated by a pair of her more experienced colleagues, as they always sent her billing requests to ‘figure out’ on top of the normal duties of her job. Although she didn't mind offering assistance, she took offence at the fact that whenever she asked these two to help her, they were reluctant to do so.

    Things came to a head when a new employee was stressed out about issuing a complicated policy, and the woman comforted her. However, one of the hypocritical coworkers chimed in to claim that it wasn't that difficult. This led to her receiving a clapback that she didn't want to hear. The woman felt relieved that she had finally been able to say something.

  • So I just fired back at one of my coworkers that constantly sends me stuff she “can’t figure out” and I think I upset her.

    I am constantly sent customer billing inquiries by two of my coworkers, who've been here longer than me. “It's too complicated and I know you can figure it out." Yes it gets old. But I understand they don't do it often so they aren't in habit. They are in sales and I am the CSR. I do billing and make policy changes all day while they quote and issue new policies all day.
    via Bowlpin16
  • I don't take issue with them sending me billing inquiries. My problem is, when I need help with something that they do more often than me, they don't want to help. Or they make off- handed rude comments. Either to me, or each other about me.
    via Bowlpin16
  • a woman bends down by another woman sat a laptop, talking and pointing to something on the page of the book in her hands
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • A customer called to say he is ready to issue a policy for an RV that our newest employee worked up recently. Not only is she new but RV quotes are a pain in the ass. In my opinion. New coworker was a bit stressed about it. I agreed with her saying, "I get it. Those are not the easiest to quote up. I struggle with them myself."
    via Bowlpin16
  • Coworker, overhearing my comment to new person, said "So you guys don't save the link to those in your favorites?" *I do. But it's not finding the link. It's figuring out the actual quoting process. I am not good at it as I rarely do them.* She said "They're not that complicated." (Not the first time a comment has been made like this.) So I finally had enough. I fired back with, "They are for someone who doesn't do them often. Kind of like you guys with billing.”
    via Bowlpin16
  • She did NOT like that. Well, it's what you guys do all day. You refuse to figure stuff out yourselves and send it my way. You never hear me say "it's not that complicated." That was rude and unnecessary. So yeah, I am going to tell you without saying directly, what a hypocrite you are being. What? You don't like me finally calling you guys out? So sorry...
    via Bowlpin16
  • two women sit at a desk having a conversation with an open laptop in front of them
    via Vitaly Gariev

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • computer7blue Good for you. I'm petty so I'd probably say it's not complicated when they ask for help again. ETA: People don't always mean to be rude when they suggest things are easier for them. They're just trying to boost their own ego. Sometimes they aren't thinking about what they're saying actually means.
    via computer7blue
  • OP Bowlpin16 Well considering how much she brags about how "bougie" her taste is, I'm thinking you hit the nail with the ego thing. It's nauseating...
    via Bowlpin16
  • violet_femme23 Let me guess, State Farm?
    via violet_femme23
  • OP Bowlpin16 Yep!
    via Bowlpin16
  • Dangerous Turmeric I'm amazed that you guessed that!
    via DangerousTurmeric
  • OP Bowlpin16 State Farm also likes to think they are special by calling things differently than pretty much every other insurance company. Like "pivoting." Can we just call it cross-selling? I worked for independent insurance agents before SF and I never heard so many terms that other companies use being completely changed like they do.
    via Bowlpin16
  • jeffeners I'm confused. They " constantly" send you billing inquiries but you "understand they don't do it often so they aren't in the habit." Which is it?
    via jeffeners
  • OP Bowlpin16 As in they don't bother to even try to figure it out, they just hand it off to me when a customer calls with a difficult billing inquiry. They are sales not service but do still have to pick up the phone from time to time.
    via Bowlpin16
  • cindyb0202 Too bad for her. Did she get her little feelings hurt? Next time they ask for help just tell them "it's not that complicated" and move on.
    via cindyb0202
  • Rhinestone Toad Most sales people are pathological in some way or another, narcissists sociopaths psychopaths just high functioning typically, but it's a place in society for them to use their traits in a relatively harmless way and just to get money and/or recognition rather than just for the sake of harming others, I have known a couple sales people who were either just normal cool people or their social camouflage and self control was just so good they never slipped their mask around me, type
    via RhinestoneToad
  • Meterian "sorry, I can't help with your billing request right now, I'm busy trying to get better at RV quotes"
    via Meterian
  • B tchySIL I had a coworker that was like this. I started telling them to get a notebook and pen. Then I had them take detailed ones on what I was showing them. Then the next time they asked, I asked where the notebook was. I had them look for the notes and told them to see me if they still needed help. They never asked me again.
    via BtchySIL
  • candykhan It's such a quality of life improvement when you have sales people who actually understand that their job & your job are different. And that they might be real good at one thing, but terrible at other things. Or if you have a sales ops team that basically does all the paperwork that sales talks about.
    via candykhan
  • Mrs_Jones_85 Bravo!!!
    via Mrs_Jones_85

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