Employee refuses to donate his PTO to a stranger in the office regardless of judgement from HR, colleagues, and his boss: 'I don't know Jennifer, maybe said hi twice'

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Jan 19, 2026 12:00 PM EST

A PTO shortage could be solved with the simple pen stroke of an empathetic boss.

Vacation time is a nebulous concept that companies haven't quite gotten right yet. Like the implied value of cash, PTO hours accumulate based on hours worked, but with its entire value being materialized by the office ladies in HR, couldn't a company just as easily conjure up a few more fake hours for an employee in need? You'd think, but the corporate world doesn't work like that. 

Instead, this employee was guilt-tripped by his entire office to help contribute PTO hours to a coworker in need. After an undisclosed life event, this coworker was in "desperate need" of 80 PTO hours that she didn't have accumulated. Instead of taking the time unpaid, HR insisted that she send out an email blast to the whole company, essentially begging them to donate their PTO. Strangely, the workforce pitched in to her made-up donation box, moving around PTO hours like they were pieces on a chessboard. The boss loved that he wasnt going to be losing any workers to wasteful vacations, but one employee saw right through the ruse. 

He refused to donate his PTO hours because, despite a surplus in his employee profile, he wanted to use those hard-earned hours for himself, not a coworker he's never even spoken to. Understandably, he was quite furious when his colleagues turned against him, calling him out in meetings and even scheduling a 1-on-1 meeting with the big boss, but he stood his ground. Hoping to shed light on a broken system, and to keep his hours for his next summer beach trip. 

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  • Man getting frustrated at work.
    via Aflo Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • If you've ever worked in a big office before, you know that there are some faces you see in the parking lot that you'll never see again in the workplace. Like ants moving around an ant hill, you can't expect every single bug to have a personal relationship with every other bug. Employees get to know their team, their department, and the CEO, and that's usually about it. So when Jennifer from some other department was begging for PTO hours from the entire company, this man put his foot down and adamantly refused. She was a stranger to him and would remain so. Why would he spend his hard-earned vacation time on a random? 

  • AITJ for refusing to donate PTO hours to coworker I barely know who "needs" them??
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • Work team coming together for a conference.
    via freemixer

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My company has a program where you can donate PT hours to coworkers in crisis. I'm 32M and I've worked here 6 years, have about 120 hours saved.
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • HR sent an email asking for donations for "Jennifer" in accounting. She used all her PTO and needs more for "personal reasons." I don't know
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • Jennifer well, maybe said hi twice. My coworker "Amy" is pushing everyone to donate. She asked how many hours I'm giving. I said I'm not donating. Amy looked shocked and said "why not? She really needs it."
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • I said I don't know her or her situation, and I'm saving my PTO for my own use. Amy said that's "really selfish" because Jennifer is "going through something." She then
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • announced in our team meeting that "some people refuse to help Jennifer" while looking at me. Now I'm getting side-eye from coworkers.
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • My boss pulled me aside and said while donating is optional, it "looks bad" that I'm not participating when others are giving 5-10 hours. I said my PTO is mine to use how I want.
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • Apparently Jennifer needs time off for elective surgery that's not covered under FMLA. Its not an emergency. People have donated 80 hours total and she needs 40 more.
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • I feel bad but also I earned my PTO and I'm planning to use it for a trip I've been saving for. Plus I barely know this person. My girlfriend thinks I should. donate 5 hours "to look like a team player" but that feels like giving in to pressure.
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • TL;DR: HR asked for PTO donations for coworker I don't know, I refused, coworkers are treating me like I'm selfish, boss says it looks bad.
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • Woman getting gossiped about at work.
    via freemixer

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Randolla 1960 If your boss feels that way, then why doesn't the company just pay for her time off? Why should it be on the backs of the other employees to give up their time?
    via Randolla 1960
  • OP Traditional-Dog1601 Precisely. and why would they keep saying it is optional and they're actions do otherwise? Now I feel obligated because if I dont give in, it's like me vs the whole people at the company. This environment is looking toxic whether I donate or not..
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • Logical Difference529 You should tell your boss that "it looks bad" when a company requests PTO from other employees instead of just offering their in need employee options in an emergency.
    via Logical Difference529
  • OP Traditional-Dog1601 Precisely. And if I donate, I wont feel good about it. I feel dictated. If I don't donate, all my coworkers are like turning against me. This is becoming toxic..
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • Parkour82 Companies should not be asking employees to donate PTO or time off to other employees. They should supply for emergencies, not the employees.
    via Parkour82
  • OP Traditional-Dog1601 Agreed sir. And I was really disappointed with my boss.. they keep saying it is optional but I feel obligated to do it. I'm starting to feel I am in a toxic working environment..
    via Traditional-Dog1601
  • Consequence These4559 Because created this "option" to pass the coast onto its employees. Guard your time.
    via Consequence These4559
  • Smitten-kitten83 If it is a large company, the boss probably has no control over that, but it isn't op's problem. If FMLA won't cover it then it isn't considered medically necessary and it can wait while she accumulates some pto.
    via Smitten-kitten83
  • NWL3-2 I agree. A few years ago, I had just started a job within the past two months when I had to have emergency kidney surgery. I had no idea when I started the job that there was anything wrong with me. I emailed my boss, told her what was going on, and asked if I could take LWOP. She emailed me back and said she had talked to her boss, and they were just going to let me have the time off, but with pay even though I - didn't have anywhere near enough PTO to cover it. Good companies come throu
    via NWL3
  • Main_Cauliflower5479 Amy is out of line. Report her to HR.
    via Main_Cauliflower5479
  • Nearly_Pointless This. It is a ridiculous ask for an employer to get involved at all. If she is such a valuable asset, the company ought to step up and take care off her. Asking employees to pay for someone else is well beyond a step too far.
    via Nearly_Pointless
  • Beginning Present_24 I used to think it was cool when companies allowed this. Then I thought about it and wondered why they didn't just give the employee time off rather than ask other employees to sacrifice their time. It doesn't make sense to me.
    via Beginning Present_24
  • PersonalityFuture151 Humph. I declined to donate for coworker I DID know. Their piss poor planning is not my responsibility. She had treated me poorly in the past and now she had to look back at that.
    via PersonalityFuture151

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employee hr work PTO Horrible Bosses
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