Stressed woman struggles to celebrate SIL's newborn baby after having her family move in "temporarily" due to financial trouble, but nearly two years later, they've remained rent-free with no exit plan: 'It was supposed to be 'just a few months'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jan 22, 2026 9:00 PM EST

It's hard to be happy for someone who is a threat to your own happiness

Family is family: In-laws, distant relatives, even ex-members. They are all part of the people who make us who we are, whether we like it or not. So one should embrace the big, giant mess that is a blended family, filled with all types of different characters. Family is there to help support each other in times of need, but at what cost? Should people be expected to trade their own happiness to repair those outside of their immediate family, or is this an extended ask?

This wife was happy to give her sister-in-law and her family a "temporary" place to stay after facing some financial troubles. Sure, the wife and her hubby worked super hard to ensure a care-free and debt-free lifestyle for their family. But nearly two years later, her SIL's family is still living with them rent-free, with no evident exit plan on the way…So it's no shock she is starting to feel resentful. However, the cherry on top is making this already-tense living situation even more complicated…

Her SIL has a baby on the way. And while she wants to be happy about her new niece or nephew, she can't shake the guilt of thinking about all the ways it's going to affect her and her family's lives moving forward. 

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  • There’s no easy way to set boundaries with family, yet sometimes it’s unavoidable. All you can do is hope that those boundaries don’t create a lasting rift. Still, it’s far better to take the long way around a burnt bridge than to fall straight through it.

    We recommend that this couple speak openly with the sister-in-law and her husband and work together to find the appropriate living solution. A cooperative approach is more likely to feel supportive rather than forceful, but after two years of a dependent living arrangement, something clearly needs to change, and soon.

  • Happy family playing on the couch and a stressed woman with her young baby
    via winniebrucephotos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for feeling overwhelmed SIL had a baby while living with us?

    I need to vent and get some perspective. Back in February 2024, my sister-in-law, her husband, and their kids moved into our home.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • It was supposed to be "just a few months" while they got back on their feet.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • It's now been nearly two years. Before moving in, they were doing fairly financially, but instead of saving, they made big purchases (new cars, private school tuition) and lived beyond their means.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • After leaving their restaurant jobs and trying to run a food truck, they slowly began to stop paying their rent.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • They were living in our rental but when they couldn't pay it we sold it and they moved in with us.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • Looking back | realized we should have just evicted them and rented to someone else. Instead we helped them with their business and they moved in with us.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • Stressed woman sitting in bed with her young baby
    via africa-images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • However, their business failed after a year. At the same time, my husband and I were struggling.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • I had left my teaching job to finish my master's and become a school counselor. We were living on his teacher salary, paying two mortgages, and even converted extra space in our home to accommodate them.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • Fast-forward to now: * They are still living with us * Their priorities haven't really changed (their kids are still in private school) * They recently had another baby, while living here rent-free *they don't really seem to be planning or trying to look for actual jobs * My husband is now in a master's program * I work part- time as a school counselor, three days a week, with a 45-minute commute I sacrificed my entire 20s being a broke college student to build stability.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • We finally bought a new car in 2024. I'm almost 40, and instead of enjoying my home and family, I feel trapped, resentful, and constantly stressed in my own house.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • * I've bottled this up for so long that I catch myself avoiding them, snapping at my own kids, and carrying a lot of quiet anger Around New Year's, my husband gently mentioned to his sister that they would eventually need their own place and should start planning for that.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • It was a low- pressure conversation, and while it didn't cause conflict, nothing has really changed yet.
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  • Today, she had her baby. I know that's a happy moment, but I'm struggling to feel excited.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • Mostly, I feel overwhelmed thinking about even less space, especially in shared areas like the kitchen, where I already manage bottles and food for my 11-month- old.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • I feel guilty admitting this, because I care about my family. But after a long period of stress, I feel worn down and emotionally tapped out.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • Couple having an intense conversation in their living room
    via africa-images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for needing emotional space right now and not feeling ready to celebrate?
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • Vivian-1963 I am wondering where they get the money for private schools?
    via Vivian-1963
  • OP Reasonable_Mud_7127 She works at the school to pay for their tuition instead of an actual job. Which I didn't realize was happening right away until she commented that her BIL "called her stupid for doing that and helping out less at the food truck." He was right.
    via Reasonable_Mud_7127
  • pinkybrain404 Tell them they have to move out. It's irresponsible for them to have another child when you were already helping them.
    via pinkybrain404
  • FarOven5415 NTA Your situation sounds totally unacceptable. Your husband may need to be more forceful, they don't sound like they're going anywhere
    via FarOven5415
  • Witty-Stock-4913 I don't understand any of you. You don't have space or resources, they don't have space or resources, very little money appears to be coming in, as, among the four middle aged adults only one appears to have a job and it's part time, and now there are two new/newish infants in the house? What are you all even doing?!? Kick them out and start rebuilding your own finances. Ridiculous.
    via Witty-Stock-4913
  • Madmattylock YTA for putting up with this for 2 years.
    via Madmattylock

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sister-in-law moved in rent-free mortgage new born free-loading
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