34-year-old landlord changes the locks to keep his 32-year-old brother/tenant out of his place despite not fixing brother's broken shower: 'I’m treating him like a tenant instead of family'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jan 28, 2026 4:00 PM EST

Imagine having your older sibling be your landlord.

Most siblings squabble over mostly insignificant phenomena, from different accounts of stories from the past to passive-aggressive exchanges with one another about family matters. Siblings are bound to have conflict in some capacity. So why would two grown siblings willingly agree to incorporate a landlord-tenant power dynamic into the picture? After all, it's already difficult enough for siblings to get along 100% of the time. Why would you make that relationship even more complex than it already is?

This 34-year-old was the landlord of his building. His brother, who was just two years younger than him, lived in the apartment directly below him. When a plumbing issue made it so that the younger brother was temporarily unable to use his own shower due to ongoing water pressure issues, the older brother was "generous" enough to give his younger brother a spare key to his apartment so that he could bathe while repairs were being made.

The next day, the older brother came home to discover that a stranger had been using his personal shower. He learned that the stranger was his brother's new girlfriend. This became a pattern, even the older brother expressed a sense of discomfort regarding the fact that a total stranger was using his bathroom without permission. The younger brother returned that comment with the truth that his bathroom still had not been fixed. None of this would be happening if those plumbing issues were resolved immediately. 

At this point, the older brother decided to change the locks on his younger brother. Now, neither of them can agree on who is more in the wrong.

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  • We cannot help but agree that both brothers are at fault here. On the one hand, the younger brother should have given the author the heads-up that his new girlfriend would be showering at his place while his bathroom remained unfixed. On the other hand, the older brother should do his duty as a landlord and fix his younger brother's bathroom as soon as possible. Not allowing him to have a proper alternative is a dangerous move that could even have legal ramifications. Sounds like both of these man-children need to grow up!

  • Two people assemble furniture in their new apartment.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "[Am I wrong] for changing the locks after my brother started letting his girlfriend use my shower?"

    I (34M) own a small duplex in Los Angeles. I live upstairs. My brother (32M) rents the downstairs unit from me month-to-month. We have separate entrances and separate living spaces, the only thing we share is the laundry room.
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  • Last month his shower started having plumbing issues. He asked if he could use mine for a few days until it got fixed. I said yes and gave him a spare key.
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  • A couple days later I come home and there's a woman I've never met in my kitchen in a towel, using my mugs and acting totally comfortable. Turns out it was his girlfriend. My brother told her she could use my shower "whenever"
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  • because he has the key. He didn't ask me, he didn't even warn me. I told him that's not happening. He tried to play it off like I was being dramatic and said it's "just a shower" and he pays rent so it shouldn't matter.
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  • I told him his rent is for his unit, not my upstairs apartment. He got annoyed but said fine. Then it kept happening. I'd get home and find signs someone had been in my bathroom, or my
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  • brother would casually mention she stopped by to "shower quick." I felt like I couldn't relax in my own home because I never knew who might walk in.
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  • So I changed the lock and took the spare key back. Now my brother is furious. He says I embarrassed him, that I'm treating him like a tenant instead of family and that I'm power-
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  • tripping because I'm technically his landlord. He's also mad because his girlfriend thinks it's weird he can't just "use his brother's shower."
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  • I told him he can use my shower again when his is fixed but only if he texts first and it's only him. He says I'm being an a le and making a big deal out of nothing. AITA?
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  • A person unlocks a door to an apartment while holding a package.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Calm_Start6742 Fix his shower, and give him a month of free rent for not fixing it immediately.
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  • rntraveller29 Is his shower fully fixed and functional? Because if it is not then YTA.
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  • Odd-End-1405. ESH He IS a tenant. DUH. Why has his plumbing not been fixed. THAT is on you.
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  • A man unpacks boxes in his new apartment.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • What the GF is doing, is weird. Maybe it is his game for you to do your LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY and FIX his shower.
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  • sleepyhungryandtired NTA for being upset that a random woman is using your shower but YTA for not fixing the root cause of said shower issues in the first place
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  • Megmelons55. You own the house. A workable shower is your responsibility. Fix it
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  • 7625607. YTA for not fixing the shower in your tenant's unit. NT A for changing the lock on your own unit.
    via DadJokeDealer14

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property owner family drama landlord aita tenant family brothers apartment
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