UPDATE: Employee refuses to organize boss's 50th birthday party after he made 0 effort for their birthday: 'I told him I'm not having anything to do with organizing anything for him'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 2, 2026 3:00 PM EST

This crew of 6 hospitality workers were told by their boss, in no uncertain terms, that he wanted a 50th birthday party that was a big deal. 

This boss sounds like the kind of person who really wants a big birthday party — or even a surprise party — and they just will not stop talking about it. They want everyone around them to rearrange all their plans and only focus on what matters — the boss's big 50th. 

When you're a child, everyone cares about birthdays, because you're growing so much every year. And it's cute! But as an adult, we tend not to care about these things so much. I admit, a 50th birthday is a big deal. But you can't just force your coworkers — or, more embarrassingly, your employees — to care about that. If you're making a big deal about how your workers celebrate you, just don't! Surely there are friends and family members who would rather celebrate 50 years of you instead. If anything, as the boss, you should be the one bringing in a package of mini cupcakes and ordering some pizzas. Asking your staff to do it is just tacky, but I get the feeling from the story below that this boss is totally oblivious to things like that. 

As you can read in this story below, there were a whole spate of "big" birthdays and events at this workplace, which could've made it easy to celebrate everyone equally. Some people were retiring, while others were celebrating their 30th and 60th birthdays. Usually, there's an HR person to handle things like this so that everyone does get the same treatment, but with a crew of just 6, there might not even be an HR person in the first place. 

Although it doesn't seem like this person left their job in the aftermath here, they end the story on a really surprising note! They allude to leaving some startling papers on the boss's desk, which it seemed like he just… ignored. He could easily check the cameras and see who left the papers there. I hope we get another update from this hospitality worker about how things have gone since the whole birthday debacle, and if things have gotten better or worse. 

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  • 01

    'AITA for refusing to organize anything for my bosses 50th birthday?'

    3 men and 3 women are gathered on couch with one man in the middle holding birthday cake with lit candles
    via Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    We work in hospitality. There are only 6 staff. It's fallen on to my shoulders to organise things like birthday cards, retirements etc.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 03
    we usually do a collection from staff and our regular customers, buy a card, flowers and a gift.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 04
    I don't mind doing it, I like surprising people with a presentation of the gifts etc.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 05
    we don't do this for every birthday, just the big ones. In the last couple of years we've had a staff member turn 60, one turn 30 and two retirements.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 06
    We've always made a big fuss. I'm turned 40 last year. I took a week off to go away for a few days with family and then returned to work.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 07
    My boss casually strolled past me and said 'don't expect any cards or anything. We haven't done anything for you'.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 08
    I hadn't been expecting the effort I normally go to but I did expect a card from them all.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 09
    spoke to my co- workers about what my boss had said, mainly cos | thought it was really callous and cold.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 10
    We all get along really well and we're good friends so it was a bit of a surprise.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 11
    The most senior of my co-workers (f61) told me that she doesn't know how to organise a card or a collection because that's my department so she didn't do anything.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 12
    I told her the least I expected was a card from everyone and she said 'I'm no good at stuff like that' and that I'm the one who usually does that stuff so it's unfortunate.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 13
    She blamed my boss and said he should have done it. When I asked my boss why he hadn't done anything for me he said it's my co-workers responsibility to organise something.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 14
    He said he did think it was weird that they forgot but said he's not here to remind them.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 15

    Here's where the boss really messed up

    He Fast forward to this year. He tells me he's taking a month for his 50th later in the year and that when he comes back he expects to come back to a massive fuss.
    via u/HattieSock

    Firstly, you don't brag about taking a month off when you probably don't pay your workers enough money to do the same. Secondly, what do you mean a "massive fuss"? Come on, buddy. Don't embarrass yourself like this. 

  • 16
    He's expecting a huge collection because he's the boss so our customers should chip in lots for him.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 17
    I told him I'm not having anything to do with organising anything for him. Nobody made an effort for me so I'm not making an effort for anyone else's anymore.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 18
    He said it's about giving and not taking and that I'm being selfish and that he'll be furious if nothing happens.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 19
    I told him he'll be furious then. He said I shouldn't do things for other people because | expect things in return.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 20
    I told him it was selfish of him to expect people to make an effort to celebrate him when he does nothing for other people.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 21
    I told him that it wasn't about them not doing anything for me. I wouldn't have brought it up if he hadn't pulled me aside and told me that none of them had bothered.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 22
    It's not like they forgot, they just chose to do nothing. He just keeps saying it's about giving and not receiving
    via u/HattieSock
  • 23
    I told him it's a bizarre thing to say by someone who never gives but always receives.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 24
    He reminds me on a weekly basis of the stuff he wants. I keep telling him to speak to someone else.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 25
    He thinks it's my job to remind someone else to do it. He thinks I'm just pretending im not doing anything.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 26

    Ready for the update? It's kind of insane!

    UPDATE. I didn't realise I hadn't come back to update you guys. My boss came back from holiday to find a folder on his desk.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 27
    It basically outlined the different ways he's been stealing from the company. Nobody knows who put it there He left shortly after and never mentioned his birthday again.
    via u/HattieSock
  • 28
    4 Office workers, 2 men and 2 women, dance in darkened office while wearing party hats
    via Vitaly Gariev on Unplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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