Photographer refuses to keep working unpaid for friend’s candle side business after years of being treated like an intern: ‘I told her I would need to be paid or at least get some kind of compensation’

• Then the business actually takes off. Drops sell out posting about hiring help new designer on the payroll shipping help hired and candle prices quietly going up to match the hype. The product side of the operation has been upgraded to legit. The photo side though is still running on free energy and leftover goodwill. The friend stops seeing the lens as a shared project and starts treating it like a permanent in‑house department someone who “supports her journey” by not charging.

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• AITA for refusing to keep helping my friend with her side business after she started charging everyone but me

  kira1990nightly

• I (27F) have a friend (28F) who started a small handmade candle business about a year ago. When she first launched it she asked if I could help her with photos for her instagram and website since photography is my hobby and I already had decent gear.

• I agreed because I was excited for her and honestly it was fun at the start. I would spend weekends helping stage shoots, editing pics, even helping pack orders sometimes.

• At first she couldnt afford to pay anyone so I didnt mind doing it for free. Over time though her business actually started doing really well. 

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  via Kenzie Kraft

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• She now sells out drops, posts about hiring part time help, and recently started paying a graphic designer and someone to help with shipping.

• I noticed she also raised her candle prices which good for her honestly. The weird part is she still expects me to do photos for free because she says im her friend and part of her journey.

• Last week she asked me to reshoot her entire spring collection with like 15 products and lifestyle shots. 

• I told her I would need to be paid or at least get some kind of compensation because it takes hours of setup editing and planning. She got really quiet and then said she thought I supported her and that charging her feels cold. 

• She also mentioned how she always gives me candles for birthdays which feels not even close to the same value but now I feel awkward even thinking that.

• Some mutual friends say im being transactional and friendships shouldnt be about money. Others say she is basically running a business and using free labor.

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  via Getty Images For Unsplash+

  ^{Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.}

• Now she is being distant and I feel guilty but also kinda used. AITA for drawing this boundary

• Comments:

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• The real line gets crossed when the producer asks for a full reshoot of a seasonal collection with styled flat lays and lifestyle shots and does not even pretend it is a chill favor anymore. It takes hours of setup planning editing and the photographer finally says something like “at this level, this is work not a hobby” and instantly becomes the villain. Suddenly “support” means endless free labor “friendship” means never cashing in and “being transactional” means daring to ask if your time has any shape at all.

• Some people will say real friends do not keep score. The real issue is not that someone drew a line but that one person never saw the line that existed the whole time. When a business outgrows the idea of free help from a friend but still acts like nothing changed maybe the only boundary left is the one that says “I am not your volunteer department.”

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