Penny-pinching friend Tara gets uninvited from 30th birthday trip after charging $25/hour to create spreadsheet: 'She wants me to reimburse everyone for 1/5 of my own birthday decorations'

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 7, 2026 11:00 AM EST

Someone put the wrong friend in charge of planning a 30th birthday trip, and now everything is falling apart. 

Everyone goes through tough financial times in life every now and again. No matter how well you plan for the future, sometimes things just pop up that require you to fork over your entire life's savings. 

However, some people are chronically broke. Money burns a hole in their pocket, and they simply cannot save money ever. When they get paid, they spend their cash on lavish meals, trips they can't afford, an expensive new car, or a bougie wardrobe. They also tend to develop some habits that can be irritating to everyone around them! If this person is always strapped for cash, they're going to be begging for money at every turn. You go out to eat with them, and they guilt you into paying. Since that leaves a bad taste in your mouth, no pun intended, you might not want to dine with them again. This can quickly sour an entire friendship, or even affect an entire friend group. Inevitably, some people will want to invite this person out, but others will beg not to include them, knowing they'll show up broke and needing handouts. It can cause major fractures in a friend group as people are forced to choose sides. 

It seems like that's what's going on in this friend group, because one of the 5 people who are planning a birthday trip is acting upon her brokest instincts. She really does have some audacity! She's been keeping a spreadsheet of birthday party expenses, which I suppose makes sense when you're planning a trip for 5 to an Airbnb. However, she added one thing that is going to really push every other friend over the edge (although honestly, there are at least 3 things I'd be bothered by here). 

I know that trips take a lot of planning, and that it's important work. I get super stressed out every time I have to plan a trip, including when I'm the only traveler! There's a lot of time spent researching the best areas of town to stay in, the costs of hotels versus Airbnbs, the prices of local restaurants, and the additional costs of excursions. Should you rent a car or rely on transit? How much gas would it require if you did book a rental car? If you're traveling abroad, have you adequately prepared your passports and booked your flights? It makes my head spin just thinking about it. 

This friend already got disinvited, as you can read about in the full story down below. Honestly, I don't know if there's any coming back from this… she's really treating her friends in a manner that's just rather unpleasant. Friends let a few dollars here and there slide. They don't hold a grudge over a few bucks, but this woman is very insistent upon making back every dollar she "spent." 

See what you think in the entire story below, as well as the shocked reactions from people who couldn't believe she'd act that way. 

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  • 01

    'Am I the j*rk for uninviting my friend from my birthday trip after she made a shared expenses spreadsheet without asking??'

    4 women attending birthday party hold sparklers while birthday girl opens presents
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I'm turning 30 next month and planned a weekend trip to the beach with 4 close friends. I organized everything - booked the Airbnb, made
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 03
    restaurant reservations, planned activities. My friend Tara sent the group a spreadsheet yesterday dividing
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 04
    ALL expenses equally 5 ways. Including things I already paid for like the Airbnb deposit. I said wait, I paid for the Airbnb as my contribution since I
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 05
    organized everything. Tara said we should split everything equally including my planning costs.
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 06
    The spreadsheet had a line item for "Tara's gas" since she's driving. I said okay but I'm also driving and didn't add my gas. She said she's driving
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 07
    further so hers counts. She calculated her planning time (researching restaurants) at $25/hour and added
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 08
    that to shared expenses. I said you can't charge us for time you volunteered. She said her time has value.
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 09
    The spreadsheet was so detailed it included splitting the cost of birthday decorations I bought for MYSELF. She wants me to reimburse everyone
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 10
    for 1/5 of my own birthday decorations. I told her this is ridiculous and she's uninvited. She said I'm being
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 11
    unreasonable and that "fair is fair." I said fair would be everyone contributing reasonably, not itemizing everything including my own
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 12
    birthday supplies. Tara's telling people I uninvited her over "wanting things fair." Am I actually wrong here?
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 13
    TL;DR: Friend created detailed spreadsheet dividing all birthday trip costs including my own decorations, I uninvited her for
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 14
    being ridiculous, she says I'm being unfair.
    via u/Apprehensive_Gur7561
  • 15

    Commenters got the ick from this

    Nee... Just wow. I would probably uninvite her too
    via u/Neeneehill
  • 16
    trac... Ntj. She's hijacking your birthday trip with her micromanaging
    via u/traciw67
  • 17
    Cze... NTJ, this is a glimpse into what this trip would be like with her.
    via u/CzechYourDanish
  • 18
    non... Charging them $25 per hour to plan and make the stupid spreadsheet, that is straight delulu.
    via u/nonnabug2013
  • 19
    Confetti surrounds birthday party celebrators as birthday girl opens presents
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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friendship birthday party traveling
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