Employee gets a $300K job offer, considers not taking it because he'd have to move away from his fiancée, who's in school: '3 years of long distance feels like a lot.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Feb 6, 2026 11:00 AM EST

That's a life-changing amount of money. 

If you have a chance to make a lot of money early in your career, there's a better chance you're going to take it, even if the conditions aren't ideal. Young people in finance work from early in the morning to late at night because they are less bogged down by family obligations. They are motivated to "make it," and are willing to sacrifice their material desires for a couple of years in order to build a more stable financial future for themselves. 

The thing about working hard and forgoing any play is that it isn't sustainable for your whole life. Eventually, making money is not enough, and you start to get burnt out on making money for money's sake. What's the point of getting rich if you can't use that to start a family or finance an early retirement where you can do whatever you want? If you save enough when you're young and have a couple of miserable years without much material pleasure, you can set yourself up for a much more secure future. If you spend all of your money thinking that it will keep rolling in indefinitely, then all of that grinding might not be worth it.

The question is, how much are you willing to sacrifice, and for how long? Can you deal with not having a romantic partner or many friends for a couple of years to stack cash? Are those sacrifices that you have to make? It's hard to know for certain whether putting your relationships in jeopardy is worth it in the long run. 

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  • Man in a suit on a terrace looking contemplatively towards the skyline
    via Gregory Hayes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The dude in this story has the opportunity to double his income, but he's second-guessing whether to take the plunge because it might strain his relationship with his fiancée. 

  • I could double my salary from 150k to 300k, but it requires me to move away from my fiancé in school. Is it worth it?

    I'm in a weird spot and need some advice. I just got a job offer at a really cool company that would literally double my salary.
    via u/Interesting_Phone171
  • It's a huge career move, but the job is 12 hours away or a 1.5 hr flight from my fiancé.
    via u/Interesting_Phone171
  • She's got 3 years of med school left and is actually telling me to take it.
    via u/Interesting_Phone171
  • The logistics: •The perks: I have housing paid for in the new city. • The plan: I'd keep paying the rent/bills so she's taken care of.
    via u/Interesting_Phone171
  • • The schedule: It's 75% in office. I'm thinking I can fly back to see her every two weeks.
    via u/Interesting_Phone171
  • Swiss plane landing in Zurich
    via Pascal Meier

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I really want this for my career, but 3 years of long distance feels like a lot.
    via u/Interesting_Phone171
  • Has anyone done this? Is doubling your income worth the strain on a relationship, or am I overestimating how easy it'll be to fly back and forth constantly?
    via u/Interesting_Phone171
  • Edit: Should note we are both from the city I would be moving to so it wouldn't be very isolating
    via u/Interesting_Phone171
  • No-Fuckin-Ziti וויו go the opposite, most relationships end in med school/residency because the non medical partner feels neglected and can't handle not being a priority for several years. This might actually mitigate that, she wouldn't have time for him anyway, and won't feel neglected herself cause she knows that. They can have meaningful time together every two weeks and on holidays. Now, they can do their grind years together and if he's still there in 3 years, she can for go for residencies
    via u/No-Fuckin-Ziti
  • MMM1a Fiances come and go but a 300k job is early retirement.
    via u/MMM1a
  • Man in red jacket standing beside woman in blue jacket while walking through the woods with their dog
    via Diana Parkhouse

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Relatively_Cool She's telling you to take it because she's committed for the long-haul anyway. As long as you both are comfortable with it you should take it.
    via u/Relatively_Cool
  • No-Garlic-4713 She is telling you that she either believes it can last or knows your relationship won't so you should go. Either way you will know within the first 6 months. I dated a woman in medical school and it's a hard relationship being in the same town. This may actually make the relationship easier so she can put all her time and effort into school and not have guilt.
    via u/No-Garlic-4713
  • fezcabdriver Sounds like a no brainer in my opinion. Hell, you are probably a distraction anyway while she is in school. At that kind of money, you can fly back every weekend. And if 75% at office means 25% remote, your weekend is basically a 3 day weekend. And they pay for your city spot? 300k, they pay for your city spot, and you continue to pay for a \[cheaper\] non-city spot. Also, 300k salary can get you a self driving tesla... just saying...
    via u/fezcabdriver
  • OKcomputer1996 Yes. Doubling your pay doesn't happen every day. You don't do that for a girlfriend. A wife is different. If you turn it down and then break up soon after you will be the biggest goofy in history. And you will regret it the rest of your life.
    via u/OKcomputer1996
  • Personal-Cucumber-63 Couple of questions: 1. How much student loan debt do you and your fiance have? 2. Does the specialty your fiance want to go into require residency? And for how long? I ask these because getting a head start on paying off loans is a big deal. And also residency is really tough to choose where you will go. And often times, you can't be picky. You are not overestimating the ease of flying, but check into flight schedules if you haven't already. If there's one airline that offe
    via u/Personal-Cucumber-63
  • Odd-Cod2516 Go for it. Or you'll always be wondering 'what if.' I think it will suck but it could work out for you.
    via u/Odd-Cod2516
  • UntrustedProcess Statistically, it'll kill your relationship.
    via u/UntrustedProcess

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boyfriend job offer school employee long distance relationship graduate girlfriend engaged money fiancee
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