Lifelong friend keeps claiming cat owner is mistreating their feline because she keeps the cat indoors only, keeps secretly trynig to let the cat out "to play", leading to a huge blow-up: '[She] and I are no longer friends'

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    "Me [27F] with my friend/future roommate [26F] (5 years) Keeps saying I am ab**ive to my cat because she is inside. Has tried to let the cat out several times 'to play.'"

    Picture of a cute cat with a blue collar.
  • 02
    I have been friends with Kara for five years. I have known her a lot longer, as she went to my middle and high school. We were really different people back then, college really helped us grow as people. So I have been friends with her and lived with her in the dorms.
  • 03
    That said, I have a two year old cat, Lily, who I love. A lot of people tell me that I treat her like a child, since I worry about what she is eating, have annual check ups with the vet, buy her new toys. I leave music on for her when I have to leave the house.
  • 04
    I got her while living with my parents. They have a house with a completely bricked in backyard. My cat cannot jump very high so she couldn't get out. We could leave the backdoor open and she would come and go as she pleased. Now I live in a busy area with dogs running loose and its not a good idea to let her out on the porch even.
  • 05
    Kara needs to move out of her parents house quickly because her dad and mom are divorcing. They plan to sell the house in a month or so, and have told Kara she needs to figure out her own shit. So she has been asking around looking for a roommate. She has a good job and is fun to live with.
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    But the big issue is Lily. I also have my sister's cat (9 years old) living with me as well. My sister cannot have pets in her new apartment and her daughter is allergic, so I have adopted Rumple as well.
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    Rumple is declawed (my sister is dumb) and has never been outside.
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    When Kara comes over she will get up and walk towards the door when Lily goes near it. She says she is just used to letting animals out when they want and doesn't see why I am being abusive to a wild animal.
  • 09
    She says it in a jokey way, so it doesn't seem like she takes me seriously. I want to help Kara, but I am afraid if she lives with me she will let out both cats and I won't see them again. The next door unit has gone through several cats because their kids leave the door open and the cats get out, get hit. I have seen multiple animals d**d on the road just this week.
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    There are even signs up asking people to keep their animals inside because we have such a huge problem with animals fighting. Management has started getting animal control to pick up any stray pets wondering around the in the parking lot/park area.
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    I am not sure what to do. On one hand, I have two bedrooms and she needs help. On the other, she is going to get my pets taken from me and killed.
  • 12
    I would like to figure out a way to explain to her how her behavior is what is keeping her from moving in. Because even if she does 'listen' I am still afraid she will be an idiot and let them out "to play" and then they can run off. How do I handle this situation?
  • 13
    tl;dr: Me [27F] with my friend/future roommate [26F] (5 years) Keeps saying I am abusive to my cat because she is inside. Has tried to let the cat out several times "to play."
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    Picture of a cute cat with a blue collar lying on a windowsill.
  • 15
    Update March 22, 2015 (4 days later) The issue came to a head yesterday. Two things happened in the last few days.
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    The first: Kara and I are no longer friends.
  • 17
    Kara called me in tears begging me to take her dog. Her parents had decided to rehome Sammy with a family friend, who has kids and time to take care of him. Sammy is overweight, wild, and not housebroken. He is also cat aggressive.
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    Kara wanted to move him into the apartment before she even moved in, to prevent Sammy from getting "stolen from her."
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    I told her that it wasn't going to work out and the dog could not come. I tried to be nice about it, because she sounded really upset. I told her that Rumple and Lily were the only pets I was allowed to have in the apartment and I didn't really want anymore animals.
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    She told me to give Rumple back to my sister and let her bring Sammy.
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    When I tried to tell her no again, she hung up the phone. She called back an hour later, while I was getting ready for work. She left two scathing messages, about how I am a bad friend and Sammy needs her. I am not sure why she cares about the dog so much, because she neglected him in the first place.
  • 22
    She came by the apartment that evening to "talk it out" and have a "roommate meeting." The whole meeting was a joke. She talked down to me and said she was doing me a favor moving in (not really) and with the money she would be paying she should have one of the 'pet slots.' She wanted me to give Rumple back to my sister. She said it was the right thing to do.
  • 23
    I told her no. Which is to say I kind of tried to be nice about it but I finally got fed up with her and said, "Sorry but no Sammy."
  • 24
    I then told her we needed to talk about the whole moving in thing. It took me a few minutes to even get to the point, but I said I was going to be looking for a different roommate because I felt uncomfortable with the idea of her living there. She got upset and left.
  • 25
    She then blocked me on FB and Instagram. I only know this because she texted me that she blocked me. Then she said she hoped my cats ran away. Then she must have posted something about me "picking cats over her" because my friend Bekka called me to ask what I did to piss off Kara.
  • 26
    In the end, it worked out for the best. My cousin Ruby is coming into town soon and has been saying she is looking for a roommate. So I might suggest she live with me. Either way, Kara is no longer someone I am wasting time on.
  • 27
    tl;dr: Me [27F] with my friend/future roommate [26F] (5 years) Keeps saying I am abusive to my cat because she is inside. Has tried to let the cat out several times "to play." We talked it out and she was pissed I "chose cats" over her. Not sure I want to remain friends.
  • 28
    Picture of a cute cat with bright green eyes.
  • 29
    CelebKelvar Trash takes itself out again *slow clap* And the cats are now safe-ish for the forseeable future.
  • 30
    Lycaon-Ur "She said I was picking my cats over her." Sounds like she figured it out. And good choice, honestly.
  • 31
    Stopthinkingits Me OOPS cats saved her from being stuck with a horror roommate

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