Employee refuses to contribute $50 to a coworker's retirement gift, despite pressure from her colleagues, because Linda was cruel to her for 3 years: ‘My decision is final’

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Feb 12, 2026 10:00 AM EST

Senior employees think they have it all figured out, but that doesn't give them the right to stomp all over the office and expect the downtrodden workforce to toss flower petals at their feet on their way to retirement.

Sorry, Linda, age alone doesn't earn you respect. 

Young people value mutual camaraderie, but older generations are hung up on the saying, "Respect your elders." While respecting the sage wisdom of people who have been around longer than you is still advisable, blindly accepting punishment from older employees in the workplace for the sole reason that they're your seniors isn't enough. If they don't respect you, why should you respect them? 

Although many workplaces make you earn your stripes before you're able to call yourself a member of the team, this 28-year-old had already paid her dues. According to all but one colleague, 3 years of proving herself was enough to cash in on some seniority and workplace respect. But for Linda, the soon-to-be-retired lady in her department, nothing was ever enough. Berating her, belittling her, and making her feel small for years, Linda sowed the seeds of resentment in the heart of her coworker, and when it came time for the $50 round-up for Linda's retirement gift, her coworker rightfully refused. 

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  • AITJ for refusing I to chip in for a coworker's retirement gift after she was horrible to me for years?
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • My coworker Linda (63F) is retiring next month after 40 years at the company. HR is collecting money for a big retirement gift - they're asking for $50 per person to buy her a fancy watch.
    via Agitated-Result-4553

  • First of all, I don't believe that employees should feel pressure to crowdfund a retirement gift for a colleague. Although it's a nice sentiment from your work besties to pitch in for a send-off gift, ensuring that everyone in the office feels the pressure to contribute defeats the purpose altogether. Although this is likely the norm in many offices, it still rubs me the wrong way to begin with.

  • Woman holding up her retirement celebration decorations.
    via Shannon Fagan

    Woman holding up her retirement celebration decorations.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Linda has been absolutely terrible to me (28F) since I started 3 years ago. She's made comments about my age, questioned my qualifications, undermined me in meetings, and generally treated me like I'm incompetent.
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • When the collection envelope came around I passed without contributing. My manager pulled me aside asking if I forgot. I said no, I'm choosing not to contribute.
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • Young woman feeling sassy in the office.
    via Slatan

    Young woman feeling sassy in the office.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Because why would you financially support a coworker who's been nothing but ruthless, ruining the work environment for the last several years? If anything, this young professional should be kicking Linda's office chair out the door on her way out. Sayonara, Linda! It'll be great to never see you again!

  • She looked shocked and said everyone contributes to retirement gifts. I said I don't feel comfortable giving $50 to someone who's been hostile to me for 3 years.
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • My manager said I'm being petty and holding grudges. I said it's not a grudge, it's choosing not to financially celebrate someone who made my work life miserable.
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • Now several coworkers are giving me looks. Someone left a sticky note on my desk saying "be the bigger person." The collection organizer came by again asking if I "reconsidered."
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • I told her my decision is final. She said it'll be obvious I didn't contribute when they announce the gift amount. I said that's fine.
    via Agitated-Result-4553

  • Peer pressure goes a long way in most circumstances. However, when it's fundamentally against your beliefs to pay for someone's fancy retirement gift, resisting the pressure from colleagues is more important than giving in. Stand up for yourself, sis, we're all rooting for you! Nobody likes a Linda in the office and it's nice to see that someone is willing to put their foot down for injustice. 

    Because lord knows I would struggle to say, “No,” as a complete sentence, but sometimes that's the best answer you can give. 

  • My boyfriend thinks I should just contribute to avoid drama but I genuinely don't want to give money to someone who's been mean to me for years.
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • Senior woman at her desk for the last time before retiring.
    via Slatan

    Senior woman at her desk for the last time before retiring.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • TL;DR: Refusing to contribute $50 to retirement gift for coworker who's been horrible to me, everyone says I'm being petty and should contribute anyway.
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • femiryn They're not asking you to be the bigger person, they're asking you to subsidize their collective amnesia. Your $50 isn't a donation, it's a fee to pretend the workplace bullying never happened.
    via femiryn
  • LavenderSharpie The company should buy the watch, not the fellow employees. Every one of you should have said NO.
    via LavenderSharpie
  • OP Agitated-Result-4553 I agreed. This is also my take. If the company really wants to honer her 40 yes of service, that should come from them and not for other employees who are living paycheck to paycheck.. unless they have different gift?? But I couldn't care less lol
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • No-Bunch6895 Go to the ones giving you grief and ask them point blank if they ever said anything to Linda to stop her? Don't give in.
    via No-Bunch6895
  • OP Agitated-Result-4553 That's a good point tbh.. when she was undermining me and making comments about everything about me to the point she may even complain me breathing, nobody stepped in for me. And now all of a sudden they expect me to be grateful for her? For what?? Lol
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • Emotional_Meet_7744 nah you're good, $50 is a lot of money to give to someone who made your life hell for 3 years. The whole "everyone contributes" thing is such BS - contributions should be voluntary not mandatory sounds like Linda's about to find out that being awful to people has consequences, even at her retirement party
    via Emotional_Meet_7744
  • OP Agitated-Result-4553 Exactly right?? They act like 50$ is something you'll just see on the ground.. and i don't understand why am i being obligated to celebrate to someone who treaded me bad?? I just can't comprehend
    via Agitated-Result-4553
  • lunars_petal Yes! So tired of coworkers acting all moral when they've done nothing to stop the harassment. You're not petty, you're just not funding someone who made your life miserable.
    via lunars_petal
  • Monachikos02 Why are the employees responsible for giving a retirement gift? Why isn't the company doing this?
    via Monachikos02
  • SmaugTheHedgehog I would go straight to HR. This sounds potentially like a form of harassment/coercion/hostile work environment by the fact that they are spreading this to your colleagues and people are now leaving you notes. The manager calling you petty is crazy unprofessional and is in most states considered workplace bullying/harassment. Document everything- every look, every interaction, everything- and go to HR.
    via SmaugTheHedgehog
  • LavenderSharpie She worked for the COMPANY, she served the COMPANY, she did not work for or serve you. Peers should not be footing the bill of a retirement watch. HR needs to stop collecting. This is the responsibility of the COMPANY.
    via LavenderSharpie
  • noct_level You're not being petty, you're being asked to financially subsidize your own bullying. The watch should have a note "For years of making my life hell. Enjoy retirement"
    via noct_level
  • SassyFevers It shouldn't fall on us, and honestly, expecting everyone to chip in just enforces this weird "be nice or pay" culture.
    via SassyFevers

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employee drama coworkers workplace retirement
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