‘I’m sick and tired': Man wakes up to angry voicemail from college best friend after he didn't answer her 2 AM call, she accuses him of failing his job as her 'safety net'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 7, 2026 12:00 PM EST

There's nothing like waking up to missed calls and a voicemail from someone calling you a bad friend…

We all know at least one person who will pick up your call, no matter what time of day you call them. It could be 4 AM or 8 PM, and they will answer your call and be by your side, no questions asked. But just because we know one person who acts like that doesn't mean we should expect every single person in our lives to live by these rules too. You can consider someone your best and truest friend, and still not be able to expect them to answer your calls in the middle of the night. It doesn't matter how much they care about you when they are in bed, sound asleep when you call.

That is what the friend in the story below should explain to his college best friend when she decides to call him at 2 AM. Unsurprisingly, he was already asleep when she called, so she left him a heated voicemail. When he woke up in the morning, he saw the missed call and voicemail, but he didn't expect to be accused of being a bad friend when he listened to what his friend had to say to him late at night.

Apparently, she was driving when she called, and wanted him to pass the time with her on her commute. She claimed that as one of her best friends, his job is to answer her calls when she needs him, especially in emergencies like driving while tired. After listening to the accusing voicemail, the friend explained why he didn't answer the phone, but it was not enough for the friend, who decided she 'needed space'.

If you ask us, he should give her all the space in the world, because a friend like that is not really a friend at all. If she can't tell that demanding her best friend will be available to her at all times is a bit too much, maybe she should see how it feels not having friends at all.

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  • Man Using Smartphone in Bed at Night
    via Africa images

    Man Using Smartphone in Bed at Night.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITAH for not answering my phone at 2 am??

    So I woke up to an angry voicemail from my best friend from college. Basically it said "ya know what s_ks?
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • I'm sick and tired of yall not picking up your phones especially in emergency situations and I'm irritated.
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • You're supposed to be my safety net and you're not doing your jobs! - I'm sleepy and driving rn" I'm a dude in my late 20s, she's a girl, fully platonic - I asked if she wanted to hangout yesterday but she said she had plans.
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • Clearly she was out late. We've kinda been growing apart lately, but we're still pretty close.
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • Whenever she calls it's always when she's driving and bored, and she knows I prefer texting over calling so we agreed we'd try to balance it (which she doesn't but besides the point).
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • Her other best friend is the same as me, goes to bed early and prefers texting too.
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • But in this case it was 2 am... I sent this text earlier: "I am sorry I missed your call.
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • Woman in a car talking on the phone late at night
    via Kosamtu

    Woman in a car talking on the phone late at night.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • It was almost 2 am so I was asleep and phone is on silent lol. I definitely care but would want you pulling over and calling 911 if there is an emergency for sure.
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • Did you get home ok?" - AITA? \\\*update: got a text back tonight saying "I need - space." ― this is confirming what a lot of you have said.
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • Thank you for the responses and validating what I was feeling. I am going to be sending her a response tomorrow
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • Any_Insurance7137 NTA - but your friend is a bɩ tface. She's trying to use you to cover her boredom while she drives. That's not a friend she wants, she wants an - available at her beck and call when she needs entertaining. Shes being a bad friend...if you value the friendship, point this out and tell her she's approaching a level of entitlement to your time that you aren't comfortable with.
    via Any_Insurance7137
  • CuriousRedditor98 Original Poster's Reply Thanks. I do think some things need addressed... Almost 2 yrs ago her mom passed away, so I was tryna be there for her and have given a lotta patience because I can't imagine going thru that and her having to cope with her new normal in life, but stuff like this is starting to pile up
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • JeffinVancouver Is it just me or does "You're supposed to be my safety net and you're not doing your jobs!" scream main character syndrome?
    via JeffinVancouver
  • CuriousRedditor98 Original Poster's Reply Yep. It's kinda become a common theme (always complains about everything and everyone, but will complain about her other friend complaining) and i think I've been bottling it up for a while. I'm gonna be walking away from this one..
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • Any_Insurance7137 That's too bad and I am sorry you are in this spot. Hopefully you'll be able to sort it with her - best of luck!
    via Any_Insurance7137
  • CuriousRedditor98 Original Poster's Reply Thank you I appreciate it. I'm not gonna be sorting it out with her at this point. She responded with "I need space" - so I'm gonna give her just that and then some. Gonna send her a response tomorrow.
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • Unicorn Megahorn Nta but should've called her back and left her a message saying that so it doesn't come across as like "hey sorry I was also call the cops next time"
    via UnicornMegahorn
  • CuriousRedditor98 Original Poster's Reply Thanks, Tbh I was pretty annoyed waking up to that, so that was my collected response at 10am once I was ready to send it
    via CuriousRedditor98
  • shimmu wait she called you her "safety net" and said you're not doing your job?? that's kinda weird tbh also driving while sleepy at 2am and making angry calls... not great
    via shimmu
  • No_Nefariousness3874 Your friend is unconscionably inconsiderate and outspokenly r de and entitled. Id consider setting some strict boundaries with this friend...if I even bothered to remain friends.
    via No_Nefariousness3874
  • glimmerseeker NTA. How completely entitled and self-centered to think you're immediately available to her at 2 am! Did you know this was your "job"? She was ride and selfish. Your response was way nicer than she deserves, and no way should YOU have apologized to her.
    via glimmerseeker

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best friends phone call late night friends voicemail relationships love entitled night college entitled people
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