Brother-in-law bails on fancy dinner because 46-year-old dad is watching anime at the table: '[He] shakes his empty Mt. Dew glass at the waiter'

Dining out with someone who has bad table manners can be incredibly embarrassing. You try to telegraph to the server that you're sorry, but you can't help that you're part of the problem. You hope none of your friends do it, but you never know when you'll end up in that situation. The question is, do you cut them off after that?

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  • A woman uses her smartphone at dinner while a man looks distressed next to her.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A man looks distressed at a family member using a smartphone at the table.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I in the wrong for telling my sister in law I won't be going out to eat with her family again if her husband and youngest are going too?

    Let me start off with I have a great relationship with my SIL and her older kids 18, 16. Thought I had a great relationship with husband 46 and youngest 13, until last night's dinner. We went to a nicer Italian restaurant and I was completely embarrassed and furious with the
    via u/20lbWeiner
  • way they acted. Husband was complaining about everything from where we had to park, why we had to wait when we had a reservation (which he made us late for by taking his sweet time getting ready) to the prices and menu options. We get apps enough for everyone to have at least 2 of each thing he grabs half of all of them because he couldn't wait to eat, then complains about whatever he can with the food.
    via u/20lbWeiner
  • 13 yo is wearing pajamas pants and a tore up hoodie because "Dad said it was fine", it wasn't but they still sat us. Waiter comes to take our order husband order some crazy modified pizza and bitched when they charged accordingly, 13 yo couldn't order for themselves? Idk why but whatever. Me and SIL have both worked in restaurants for years
    via u/20lbWeiner
  • and this is the part that made me want to leave, husband has both earbuds in watching anime at the table and shakes his empty Mt. Dew glass at the waiter... then laughs about how he didn't have to even say anything to get a refill!?!
    via u/20lbWeiner
  • Check comes and one of the apps I was paying for was on their bill, easy fix, but husband yells "how hard is it to do it right the first time". That's when I almost lost it and just followed the waiter to the POS and paid for me and the 2 oldest food. Said bye to SIL the 2 oldest and
    via u/20lbWeiner
  • left. She later called me and asked if they did something. wrong so I laid it out about how embarrassing her husband and youngest were. I was told that no one else has a problem with them. Then get a call from Mother in-law thanking me for being the only other person to call at least they husband out for his sho.
    via u/20lbWeiner
  • So am I the a h le or was I right to be embarrassed and ped off? This is my wife's sisters family, my wife passed in 22
    via u/20lbWeiner

  • Commenters gave their two cents on the situation.

    TararaBoomDA If MIL was thanking you, then NTA. And BIL obviously is.
    via u/TararaBoomDA

  • I don't know about you, but restaurants are a huge part of my joy in this life. I love going to restaurants, I love being at restaurants, and I want to do it as much as my budget will allow. I love the sense of festivity and getting to try new food. So it follows that I want my closest friends to have the same level of respect for those institutions, or at least a base level of decorum when they're in them. We should all try to behave at our best behavior at restaurants. Servers and chefs work so hard to make the experience special, and it's our job to give that its propers. At least we don't want to create any issues. Sure, you can stand up for yourself if you're experiencing bad service, but you should always err on the side of gratitude. Eating out is optional, after all. But some people just can't control themselves. You know the type. Maybe they're a Karen, or maybe they're just oblivious, but either way, they're making a scene, and they are embarrassing everyone involved. And you wish you could get out. 

  • TRAVISTY NTA. 46yo with earbuds watching. anime at a nicer Italian restaurant and acting that way?! He's a child.
    via u/TRAVISTY
  • naranghim NTA. I was told that no one else has a problem with them. That SIL knows of. Maybe now that you've spoken up, and "survived" others will start.
    via u/naranghim
  • A closeup of male hands holding a fork and a knife at a restaurant
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    A man tries to enjoy a dinner at a nice restaurant with his family.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • PipedInFromIthaca NTA; to be honest it sounds like this guy has just never been told no in his life and someone needs to start doing that, especially if you're not even the first person to notice it. And am I reading it right that it was the adult husband, not even the youngest kid, who was watching anime with headphones during a family dinner? Chrt the night.
    via u/PipedInFromIthaca
  • Firebird562 NTA. I would never go out with the man again.
    via u/Firebird562
  • PleiadesH Love that your MIL has your back. I'd be embarrassed to be in the same restaurant as these two, let alone the same table.
    via u/PleiadesH
  • Extreme Jujoo The Husband sounds like a mannerless lout. 13 year old is following in his footsteps. So gross. I would definitely never, ever go out anywhere with either of them ever again.
    via u/ExtremeJujoo

  • It's hard to know what to do in this situation. Do you just hope that your good behavior cancels out theirs and leave a hefty tip to make up for it? Or do you call out the behavior in the moment and make it clear that you won't stand for it? That's the question that came up in this story, where a man learned some of his family couldn't be trusted at a nice restaurant. He thought they had a good working relationship, but when it was put to the test, everything fell apart. Read on to see exactly what happened.

  • Photojournalisto... "I was told that nobody else has a problem with them", just because someone is too polite to say anything doesn't mean it isn't a problem.
    via u/PhotojournalistOnly
  • cuzguys NTA, what's amazing is sister in law doesn't seem to have a problem with this behavior.
    via u/cuzguys
  • III_Consequence... Gee how fortunate she is to have two 13 year old boys at the same time. NTA.
    via u/III_Consequence1755
  • mscrybaby-mo I did the same to my bestie. Told her I wouldn't go out to eat anymore with her family because they embarrassed me. I could understand the oldest boy as he is non verbal austisic with a few other things going on but not her and her boyfriend and the youngest 2. The 2
    via u/mscrybaby-mo
  • youngest throwing fits and acting up, no one can tell them no or they throw total fits and since they are his kids they are perfect and her older two just sit back and try not to exist. It took her a few times and now we go out just without him and his kids. I hate any attention called to me and when it happens I cut the person off.
    via u/mscrybaby-mo
  • oofmagoof123 NTA I would never be willing to eat out with any of them if the others don't see the problem. Pajama pants are fine in certain occasions, but not at a nice restaurant that takes reservations.
    via u/oofmagoof123
  • hilhilbean I am assuming this is not your first time out with them. It sounds like they have been married a long time. What has changed? Was he always like this and this was just the last straw?
    via u/hilhilbean
  • NTA, but just curious why it's only an issue now. The youngest...well, for starters, it's BOTH parents' issue, not just the dad's. Why is he dressed like he's taking a meal in his bedroom? Why did your sister allow that?
    via u/hilhilbean
  • Lots of young teenagers struggle with ordering their own food. Just saying as far as the youngest is concerned, I don't think he is the problem and he doesn't deserve your ire. The husband, though? ICK.
    via u/hilhilbean
  • Popular-Parsnip... NTA but I wonder why you didn't just say something at the table? I don't think I would be able to keep my mouth shut.
    via u/Popular-Parsnip8911

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Tags

family drama anime restaurant etiquette family restaurant work embarassing brother in law restaurant server
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