25 Purrfesional Felines Coming for Your Job Before AI

Laurent Shinar • Writer and Editor

Apr 3, 2026 11:00 AM EDT

If you have been quaking in your boots, fearing that artificial intelligence will come along and boot you out of your job. Then you had better turn your attention towards these pawfessional felines who are already in the workforce today, ready to step in and replace you.

It is not clear when these cats began taking up positions and replacing hoomans, but we have come to understand that the reason has to do with inflated prices of food and toys. Even in situations where cat children have two pawrents who both work, we are receiving reports that food and toy standards are sinking with each passing month. Meaning that if a cat child wants to maintain their quality of life, it is upon them to find a job themselves to help their pawrents make ends meet at the end of the month.

And while you might have assumed that most cats would turn their noses up at the idea of any kind of labor to earn their keep. It seems as though more than a few of these felines have stepped up to the plate and are set to take on a significant portion of the job market by next year.

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Oh we would love a class or two in Catematics. Could you imagine all the interesting and intricate equations we could finally learn about. We could take classes in the catematics of soliciting food, catematics of jumping between windowsills, and perhaps our favorite, the catematics of annoying your hooman without making them hate you. These mysteries could finally be unlocked, opening us up to a whole new world of possibilities and potential. One can only wonder what wonders we would come to learn about. Heck, maybe we would finally learn if the whole buttered toast strapped to a cat’s back theory is legitimate…
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Now, you know that we are not fans of being disparaging towards our cat friends. We do whatever we can to support their hopes and dreams, even when it comes at a cost to us. But we do these things because we care and because we love them. However, even with that being said we cannot stand by and let this list future hooman ender go forth and be a lifeguard. To do that job you need two critical qualities, the first being attentiveness. Now cats can be incredibly attentive, when it is surrounding their prey, but when it comes to hoomans in a pool we would not trust them. The second is the ability to swim…yeah, not a chance…
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25 Purrfesional Felines Coming for Your Job Before AI

If you have been quaking in your boots, fearing that artificial intelligence will come along and boot you out of your job. Then you had better turn your attention towards these pawfessional felines who are already in the workforce today, ready to step in and replace you.

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